


The Road

by itsYOUiSEVER



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Blood and Torture, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Carl and Judith are cuties, Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Few changes to canon, I will be following the TV show adding in my OC, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Minor Character Death, Original Character(s), Pre-Apocalypse Flashbacks, Rick has trust issues (understatement), Season/Series 04, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-08 13:33:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 72,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3210962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsYOUiSEVER/pseuds/itsYOUiSEVER
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She stood above his bleeding body and looked down at him, a blank expression on her face. "What was it you said to me Joe before you left me to die? 'We are gonna leave you here because you don't deserve a quick death after what you've done. You deserve to die slowly and as painfully as possible.' I didn't die Joe. I lived. I proved you wrong." She then raised Rick’s python, pointed it squarely at his forehead and pulled the trigger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer! I don't own any character or plot point that you recognize. Though I have taken creative liberty to change plot points in the TV show!

**The Road**

_Summary_

__

_She stood above his bleeding body and looked down at him, a blank expression on her face. "What was it you said to me Joe before you left me to die? 'We are gonna leave you here because you don't deserve a quick death after what you've done. You deserve to die slowly and as painfully as possible.' I didn't die Joe. I lived. I proved you wrong." She then raised Rick’s python, pointed it squarely at his forehead and pulled the trigger._

_**Prologue** _

"Laney, sweetheart. You and I are gonna play a game, okay?" _Her mother's voice echoed through her head as she darted between the barren trees of the dense forest. The cool crisp air whipped against her skin and razor-sharp branches snapped against her face and arms creating fine cuts across her wind-battered skin._ "You are gonna hide in your room. You are gonna be as quiet as a mouse, okay? You don't come out until I find you, do you understand?"   _Alana wished she had listened to her mother that day and not wandered from her room when she heard a struggle and loud voices coming from outside her bedroom. If she had just done that she wouldn't have witnessed her mother getting shot in the head at point blank range. She wouldn't have seen her mother's blood and brains splattered across the living room carpet._

__

_Her legs pounded against the forest floor, her breath left her lungs in short and raspy bursts, and her body was buzzing with adrenaline like a drug coursing through her veins. She could feel branches catch in her curly brown hair but she didn't care. All she wanted was to get the hell out of there. She could feel cold fingers trying to grasp at her neck like a ghost that she wanted to be rid of. The feeling made her look over her shoulder to peer at the part of the forest she was leaving behind and she didn't like what she saw behind her at all. The very ghost she wished to escape from was right there running after her._

__

"You were claimed, 'Lana. What don'cha understand 'bout that, huh?" _Joe's haunting voice rang through her entire body sending her into a state of complete panic. She pushed herself to run even faster in an effort to keep herself away from him. Away from that pain._ "You belong to us, 'Lana. You ain't going nowhere." _She could still feel their filthy hands across her skin, caressing and stroking places she hadn't wanted them anywhere near but she had had to let them do what they wanted with her in order to survive. There was no other way._ "This how you treat your family, 'Lana. This how you repay the people who have kept you alive this long, huh? You think because you were claimed that we won't punish you when we see fit?" _She flinched sharply at those words because she knew what had come after that. The necessary pain. The pain that had left her back riddled with thick roping scars._

"We are gonna leave you here because you don't deserve a quick death after what you've done. You deserve to die slowly and as painfully as possible." _She could feel the cool metal of the handcuffs she had dreaded seeing nip at her wrists as Joe's last words to her bounced around her skull. She remembered the beating they had all given her before Joe had collapsed those cuffs around her wrists tethering her to that godforsaken house where she had been sure she would starve to death. She would have starved if Glenn and Maggie hadn't decided to search the abandoned house for supplies. She had been on the edge of death when Glenn had broken down the front door and Maggie had run in with her machete ready to sink into any Walkers that the house may have held._

__

_The air in her lungs rushed out of her as her foot caught on an upturned root causing her entire body to lurch forward sending her tumbling down a steep hill into a small creek at the base of the hill. Her bones popped and groaned as she slammed into the muddy floor of the creek basin. A thick layer of frigid mud covered her clothes weighing her down. She coughed loudly with chest-heaving barks that made her sound like she had bronchitis. She rolled onto her side and tried to regain her breath._

__

_As soon as she had managed to regain her breath, a hand wrapped around her throat and pulled her up to her feet only to dangle her toes a couple inches from the ground just torture her. Her hands instinctively went and wrapped around the hand slowly collapsing her esophagus trying to loosen the grip even just a little. Her eyes frantically looked around for anything that she could use to save herself but came face to face with Joe who was standing off in the distance watching the life being choked out of her. Her gaze snapped back to her attacker and all she saw was anger. The same anger she saw the night her mother died right in front of her._

__

_There wasn't a face in front of her, only gray eyes filled with hatred and rage. Then she felt Joe's hands running along the length of her body, grabbing and caressing every inch of her, causing her to whimper out of fear. "You don't get to die so quickly on me, 'Lana. I just got you back and I have so much more tricks I can pull." Joe growled into her ear as the man in front of her slowly set her down on her feet only to have Joe slam her back down into the mud. He kept her pinned to the ground with a knee to the middle of her chest and swiftly pulled out a knife that had been hanging from his belt. "Nice and slow. That sound good to you, 'Lana. Just like what you did to Tate." Alana desperately tried to wiggle her way out from under his knee but with every twitch of her body, he dug it further into her sternum. "Please..." She begged but it only provoked him further and she screamed bloody murder when he dragged the blade of the knife across her right arm from the shoulder to the palm of her hand._

__

"'Lana, wake up." _She writhed and cried out as Joe carved into her skin like she was a marble or wood sculpture to be chiseled at._ "'Lana, c'mon wake up." _His maniacal laughter floated into her ears as she began to slip out of consciousness._ "You were claimed, 'Lana. What don'cha understand 'bout that, huh?"

Alana shot up in her bunk, breathing heavily, clutching at her chest, eyes wide with fear. She screamed at the top of her lungs when a hand grabbed onto her ankle. She didn't even look to see who had grabbed her, she just reacted. The grip had frightened her, reminding her of Joe and his group's grubby hands. She immediately started kicking and scratching at the owner of the hand which caused her to fall off the bunk.

The same hands then tried to help her up but she wanted them off her. She shoved the person as hard as she could against the wall of the cell and screamed in anguish at them as she repeatedly slammed their head into the concrete structure. She could hear people yelling at her but she wasn't listening to them. Joe needed to pay. He needed to feel the same pain she had been dealt. She wanted vengeance.

Tears streamed down her freckled cheeks and deep chest-wrenching sobs echoed from her. She heard her name being called but she didn't look to see who it was. She kept slamming Joe's head against the concrete. It wasn't until two sets of arms pulled her from him that she really got a look at who she had been attacking. _Zach._ Beth's boyfriend. She had been bashing his head against the cell wall, not Joe's. She fought against the arms that were pulling her out of the cell that she and Beth shared. Angry tears formed in her eyes and she screamed in rage as she was pushed against the wall between her cell and the next one.

"Alana, yah need to calm yerself." Rick gritted those words into her ear as he bent so he was right up against the left side of her head. His voice was laced with frustration, most likely from getting woken up in the middle of the night by her screams, and there was a soothing essence to his words. His voice was different than Joe's to her ears. Rick's voice didn't hold the malice that Joe's did. Alana didn't heed Rick's words though and instead thrashed about only to end up smacking her forehead against the concrete wall hard enough that a small stream of blood flowed from the wound. "I told yah to calm down, Alana." Rick growled into her ear as she looked over her shoulder at him.

The pair locked eyes, silvery pale blue  clashed with deep oasis blue, and that was when Alana saw Daryl and Tyresse carrying Zach out of the cell. She could see the damage she had done to his skull, the blood that trickled down the back of his neck soaking the back of his shirt with warm blood. She also could see members of the group looking at her in fear like she was some sort of monster. She wasn't a monster. _Joe was the monster._ They didn’t understand that. They didn’t know what he had done to her and let the others in his group do to her. No one understood it.

Alana turned her gaze back to the concrete wall in front of her and lightly rested her forehead against it being sure to keep the massive goose egg she had given herself didn’t hit the cool structure. Tears welled up in her eyes and she just lost it. Her legs gave out underneath her and she fell to her knees in gut-wrenching sobs that shook her entire body. She leaned heavily against the wall and clutched her hands around the bars of the two cells, looking for any solidity she could find. Her sobs and tears continued for sometime before she felt a hand hesitantly clasp her shoulder. She stiffens at the contact but doesn’t turn around or look up at the person.

"C'mon, Alana. Let's get yah cleaned up." Rick rasped softly at her as she felt his hands move under her arms to pull her up to her feet. She let him pull her to up and leaned against him as he directed her toward his cell. Rick had never scared Alana. He had never really intimidated her, not like Joe and them had. Rick reminded her of an old guard dog. He was broken and beaten down but he would protect his people at all costs. "'m sorry." Alana whispered bashfully to him as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her arm around his shoulders. She could practically hear him shaking his head in disapproval at her. "Got nothin' tah be sorry 'bout, Alana. Everyone has nightmares. Its how we know we haven't gone completely nuts." Rick reassured her as she looked up at his face and gazed at him, taking in his features.

He looked worse for wear that was for sure. His beard was thick, sprinkled with salt and pepper hairs and it made him look almost twice his actual age. His face wore the markers of someone in their late forties, crow’s feet embroidered the edges of his eyes that held large dark bags underneath them from sleepless nights where he ended up taking a double watch shift. His exposed skin was tanned from the work he did in the field with all the crops and animals while the skin hidden underneath his tattered and beaten button up shirts, that had once been a completely different color but had been stained with dirt and grime, was sickly pale. His body showed signs of overexertion. The burdens of past decisions weighed him down and the lives of those his group had lost echoed through his mind. Alana could see through the strong facade he put on. Inside he was eating himself alive with guilt.

Rick ushered her into his cell and sat her down on the bottom bunk just a few feet from the mailbox that had become Judith's crib. He peered into the small container to check on Judith and saw that she had slept through all the chaos that had just occurred. "I'll be right back. 'M gonna get some cloth from Hershel to clean yer head wound." Rick told her as she nodded her head at him and gazed over at Judith who was sleeping peacefully, slightly cooing in her slumber. Alana watched Rick leave the cell out of the corner of her eye and was very surprised when he had no hesitation about leaving her alone with Judith.

Alana felt restless waiting for Rick to return after about five minutes of sitting quietly on the bottom bunk so she decided to look around his cell. It was a simple cell. Bunk bed, toilet, sink, mirror and a cell door. Rick had added little personal effect to it, not like Beth had. The only thing that stood out in the cell was Judith's Little Asskicker crib.

Alana sighed in frustration as more time passed and Rick still remained to make his appearance. She brought her hand up to touch the raw part of her forehead that throbbed with each pulse of blood through her veins. It had gushed out a fair amount of blood, not nearly enough to make her pass out but enough to ruin the shirt she was wearing. Knowing that the shirt pretty much had no use, Alana pulled the shirt over her head and decided to rip it into strips of cloth for Hershel to use. Unfortunately for Alana the ripping of her shirt had been enough noise to startle Judith awake.

Alana dared herself to approach the crying infant and was surprised to find Judith staring up at her just watching her like she was Judith's favorite person. Alana had half the time to call the small human bi-polar at how quickly she had gone from crying to cooing up at her. The little girl was looking up at her expectantly as if she were trying to say are you gonna pick me up or not? Alana was hesitant to even move right next to the girl not knowing exactly how Rick would respond to her close proximity to his child but when Judith started giggling and reached her arms out at Alana, clenching and unclenching her chubby little hands in the air, Alana smiled and scooped the girl up in her arms.

Judith looked up at Alana and gently pressed her chubby fist into Alana's collarbone. The curious little creature's eyes sparkled with glee and were the purest shade of blue just like her father and her brother. Her wispy brown hair reminded Alana of her brother's messy mop although Judith's was a significantly lighter shade of brown. She gurgled and babbled up at Alana as if she was trying to tell her something. Alana smiled down at the little girl and held her finger out for Judith to grasp onto which she took eagerly and brought Alana's finger up to her mouth to suckle on.

It was then that Alana almost broke down crying. The innocence Judith radiated made Alana sad because she knew that in the world that they lived in, people took advantage of that. Innocence got a person killed real quickly, that or it got them scarred for life with the things that the sick bastards of this world did to them. Alana held Judith close to her chest and gently rocked her back and forth trying to keep herself from completely losing it. A few rogue tears rolled down her cheeks and fell down onto Judith's pale yellow onesie. Alana almost jumped out of her skin when she heard a throat clear behind her.

She turned around just slightly to look over her shoulder at whoever stood in the cell doorway and saw Rick standing there with a bucket of what Alana assumed to be water in one hand, rubbing alcohol and some rags in the other. Alana stared at him with wide eyes afraid that he might throw her out for picking up Judith without permission especially after her little episode. "I accidentally woke her up and she started crying. I didn't know what to do so I picked up her. 'M sorry." She said bashfully as she went to set Judith down by her stack of red solo cups but was stopped by a hand to her upper left arm. Alana looked up and saw Rick looking at her with compassion in his eyes, almost an understanding. "It's okay, Alana. Yah did the right thin'. Besides she seems to really be enjoyin' herself with yah." Rick told her with an amused tone to his voice and a gentle smile on his face. Alana then stood back up and shifted Judith in her arms. Rick smiled broadly when Judith squealed at him and yanked on a tendril of Alana's golden blonde hair causing her to cry out and laugh at the infant. Rick helped Alana pry her hair from Judith's vice grip and gently took the squirming creature from Alana's arms. He then set her down next to her beloved cups and pressed a kiss to her hair before standing back up and turning towards Alana gesturing for her to sit back down on the bunk.

Alana did what Rick asked of her and waited patiently as she got himself situated on a stool in front of her with the bucket of water at his feet one the opposite side to Judith so she wouldn't be tempted to drench herself from head to toe. Rick set the rags and rubbing alcohol on the bunk next to Alana and took her chin between his fingers so he could examine her self inflicted goose egg. "What's the verdict, sheriff?" Alana jokingly asked after a few minutes of Rick poking and prodding the bump on her forehead. Rick chuckled at her title for him and leaned in to grab the rubbing alcohol and rags. "Yah got yerself pretty good there, Alana. Gonna hurt like hell tomorrow. That's fer sure." Rick replied as he poured a small amount of rubbing alcohol on one of the rags and began to gently dab it on her bump. Alana flinched when the rubbing alcohol stung her wound and inhaled sharply.

"Zach gonna be okay?" She asked sheepishly as Rick stopped when he was doing and looked her straight in the eyes. Alana regretted her question after that and wanted to go find a hole to hide herself in until she died of embarrassment. "Yeah, yah really did a number on him but he's gonna live. Kid's got a thick skull," Rick tried to make things light but Alana only felt worse about what she had done. "Yah want tah talk 'bout what happened, Alana?" Alana immediately responded with a subtle shake of her head and Rick just went straight back to work on her head. They sat there in silence for a while before Alana spoke softly.

"I had a nightmare," She started to say as Rick set down the rag in his head and gave her his full attention. "I was with a group before you guys found me. You already know that but you don't know what they were like. I was their play toy. I was claimed," She said as she clenched her hands into fists and squeezed her eyes shut trying to get the images of what Joe and them had done to her out of her head. Alana's eyes snapped open when she felt a calloused hand clasp one of her fists in a soothing gesture. Rick was looking at her with empathy written on his face, not sympathy like every other person would have looked at her. "I had disobeyed them about a month or so before Glenn and Maggie had found me. I had had enough of being a possession and I killed one of them when they tried to get me to..." She choked on her words as a sob formed in her throat. Rick moved closer to her then, took her hands in his own and brought her hands up to his face gently pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles.

"Yah are safe, Alana. They won't get anywhere near yah again. I promise." He told her as he looked her straight in the eyes and gently wiped her tears from her cheeks. "How can you say that, Rick? You don't know what will happen." She asked him softly as he smiled at her. "Yah just gotta trust me, Alana. Can yah do that for me?" He said as he let go of her hands and gently cradled her head in his hands forcing her to look him in the eyes. "Okay." She whispered to him as he gently leaned his forehead against hers and gazed into her eyes for a minute or so until Judith decided she needed to go back to sleep and began crying.

Rick stood up from the stool and gently scooped Judith up cradling her close to his chest, causing the little girl to lean into him and coo quietly while sucking on her chubby fist. Alana watched as Rick transformed right before her eyes from a hardened man to a loving father in less than three seconds. She could hear him softly murmuring at Judith as he rocked her back and forth and gently stroked her face. He looked so natural and at home cradling a small human being to him.

He glanced over at Alana who felt slightly embarrassed getting caught basking in awe of him and he smiles at her before walking so he stood right in front of her. "I'm gonna take her to Beth and see if she can get Li'l Asskicker tah sleep here. I'll be right back. Go ahead and take the bottom bunk. I'll take the top." Rick softly spoke to her as Judith waved her fist at Alana. She nodded her head at him and moved the supplies Rick had brought into the cell off the bunk gently pushing it under the bunk so Rick didn't trip on it when he came back to the cell after dropping Judith off. She laid herself out on the bunk and pulled the blanket, which had been bunched up at the end of the bed, over her body before she pulled her knees up so she was curled into a fetal position. Rick then bent down so he and Judith loomed over Alana and he smiled at her. "Say goodnight to Alana, Judy." Rick cooed as he held Judith close enough so she could press a sloppy open mouthed kiss to Alana's cheek making her laugh. "Night, Sunshine." Alana whispered as she gently caressed Judith's cheek and smiled up at Rick. "Try to fall asleep. I'll be right back." Rick assured her as he left the cell.

She laid there on the bunk staring at the blank wall, just contemplating why this group had even allowed her to stay with them with how messed up she was. Then again the whole world was messed up and twisted in ways that would have made the five o’clock news if the world hadn’t gone to shit. Her scars screamed and cried out to people, practically shouting at them that she had been through hell and that there was a high likelihood that she wasn’t all there. Her hand subconsciously drifted to one of her roping thick scars across her back and she gently stroked them as memories of how they came to be flooded back to her. She could feel the belt snapping against her back ripping and tearing the delicate skin of her back like how a starving dog tore through a steak. She could see the look Joe had in his eyes as he inflicted this tremendous pain on her. Her hands clenched tightly into fists as the wave of pain she had once felt flowed over her again like she had been whipped all over again. Her back burned with a blazing fire, her eyes filled with tears and her lungs struggled to catch any oxygen. She began to slowly hyperventilate and that was how Rick found her, curled up in the fetal position clutching one hand to her chest and the other against the scar that blemished her shoulder blade struggling to even inhale.

Rick dropped to his knees in front of her as soon as he entered the cell. She could see his lips moving but heard no sound coming them and the moment his hand came into contact with her shoulder, Alana sprang up from the bunk and practically hurled herself at him. He let out a low umph as his butt slammed against the floor and his back hit the cell wall. Alana clung to him like a baby monkey clings to its mother. She held onto him as if he were her lifeline. Her hot tears dribbled onto his gray T-shirt and her sobs echoed through his throat and shoulder. At first he sat with her straddling his lap rigid and unresponsive until she rubbed her face into the juncture between his shoulder and his throat only to start sobbing again with thick heart wrenching sobs that caused Rick to wrap his arms tightly around her, practically swaddling her like a newborn baby. And that was how they both fell asleep, wrapped up in each other's arms, emotionally drained and exhausted.

* * *

 

A soft light fluttered into Rick’s cell the next morning causing Alana to wake from the warmth that spread across her body. She opened her eyes to find herself laying on the bottom bunk and Rick was nowhere to be seen. She worried that she may have freaked him out by throwing herself at him last night but she had just needed to feel arms around her that she knew were safe. She swung her legs out and sat herself up on the bunk before she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands. She looked out the cell door and saw Beth standing over by the barred windows holding a babbling Judith to her chest as the infant fiddled with the baby toy in her hands occasionally hitting Beth in the throat with the toy but the young blonde only smiled down at Judith, she never lost her temper no matter how many times Judith whacked her. Alana then stood up from the bunk and was about to walk out of the cell when she realized that she only had her black tank top on and she didn’t want people seeing her scars. She looked around Rick’s cell for anything she could possibly use to cover up the ropes of scars on her back and her eyes fell on one of Rick’s three-quarter length button up shirt balled up in a heap in the far corner of the cell. Alana knew that that would have to do and she walked over to swoop down and pick it up. She pulled the shirt on over her shoulders and laughed at how the shirt seemed three times too big when in reality Rick wasn’t that much taller or bigger than her. She knew that she had lost a lot of weight since the beginning of all this but seeing exactly how much she had lost was pretty scary. She let the shirt fall against her frame and didn’t even bother to button it up, she just let it fall loosely.

As she turned and exited the cell, Beth looked back at her over her shoulder and Alana stopped right in her tracks. She half expected the blonde to avoid her and loathe her for what she had done to Zach but she was very much surprised when Beth began to walk towards her with Judith squealing at the sight of Alana. “How are you doing?” Beth asked her as she stopped in front of her, Judith was being as loud as she possibly could wanting Alana’s attention on her and not Beth. Tears welled up in Alana’s eyes at Beth’s words. Beth wasn’t mad at her, she wasn’t holding this grudge against her, she was genuinely concerned for Alana. “I am fine. Rick patched me up last night,” Alana bashfully replied not able to meet Beth’s eyes. Part of her was worried that Beth’s words and her eyes would be telling completely different stories. “‘m sorry, Beth. I - I didn’t mean to hurt him.” She could hear Beth shaking her head at her but she didn’t know if she was shaking her head because Alana sounded really stupid apologizing to her about this or if Beth just couldn’t believe the nerve she had thinking that she could forgive her so quickly. “It’s okay, Alana. You didn’t mean to. I don’t hold it against you at all.” Beth spoke to her softly, almost soothingly as if she knew exactly what Alana needed to hear. At that point Alana looked straight at Beth and saw the soft smile that Beth’s lips were curled up into. Alana then stepped towards Beth and gently wrapped her arms around the blonde momentarily squishing Judith between them who thought it was the funniest thing ever. “Thank you, Beth.” She whispered to the teen.

The two of them stepped back from each other and both of them had bold smiles on their faces. “Do you know where Rick is at?” Alana asked Beth as she moved into Rick’s cell to grab out Judith’s cups. “He should be up in the closest guard tower on watch with Daryl.” Beth told her as she thanked Beth again and walked towards the cell block doors. Once outside, Alana was flooded with the sweet warmth of the sun which caused her to sigh deeply. It wasn’t quiet outside like it had been in the cell block. People were busy, moving and working together. She looked up at the guard tower Beth had told her Rick and Daryl should have been doing their watch in and she saw Rick and Daryl leaning against the railing on the deck of the guard tower. Daryl had his crossbow propped up against the railing by his feet while Rick had a hunting rifle resting near his feet. She wondered exactly how she should go about talking to Rick. She wondered if she should just wait till his shift was over, if she should just walk right up there, or if she should just let him find her later. She really didn't have much choice in the matter when she heard someone call her name and looked up to see Rick smiling down at her waving her to come up. She waved back up at him and made her way to the base of the guard tower opening the door before she hesitantly walked inside and jogged her way up the stairs.

When she got to the top of the stairs, Rick was waiting inside the guard tower conference room with a smile on his face like she hadn’t practically jumped him the other night. “G’morning, Alana.” Rick greeted her as she moved across the room towards the door leading out to the deck. She returned his G’morning and waved at Daryl who was lounging against the railing as she walked out there with Rick. Alana saw Daryl leave the guard tower out of the corner of her eye giving her and Rick some space to talk to each other. Rick leaned against the railing beside Alana and smiled up at her. “I just wanted to thank you for everything last night. I wasn’t in the best state of mind and I am sorry for jumping you.” She apologized to him as he laughed at her choice of words and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Don’t gotta apologize for anything, Alana. Yah needed help and that’s what I did. No need to be ashamed of needing someone to lean on.” Rick told her as she looked out at the field where Hershel and Carl were tending to the crops and animals. Alana knew she could trust Rick but she didn’t know how he would react to her past. So she took a leap of faith and trusted that he wouldn’t see her any different than he did before he heard her story.

“My mother was murdered in front of me when I was about six years old. The man had been wanting to rob us and my mother had heard him breaking into our house. My dad had been working a late shift at the precinct and wasn’t home. My mother pulled me into my bedroom and told me that we were going to be playing a game of hide and seek. She left and I didn’t listen to her. I walked out of my room and watched that man blow my mother’s brains out all over our carpet. He never saw me. He just ran after he killed my mother,” Alana told Rick as he gazed at the young blonde searching her face for the emotions that couldn’t be picked out in her cold distant voice. He could see the agony in her face, the sorrow and pain that shown in her eyes and the anger she felt towards the man who had taken her mother from her. “When my dad and the police managed to get to our house, I was seated cross-legged by my mother staring down at her, calling her name. I didn’t understand at that point in time that she was gone. I took me ‘til her funeral for it to actually hit me and I lost it,” Rick looked at her with empathy, knowing what it was like to lose someone who meant so much to you. She leaned more heavily against the railing in front of her and looked down at the fields at everyone who was working down there.

“I dreamt about her last night. I heard her voice and I saw that man kill her again. I don’t want to be weak anymore, Rick. I want to be strong.” Alana pleaded with Rick as tears leaked from the corners of her eyes and tumbled down her face. Rick then took a step towards her and gently placed a hand on her forearm. Her head quickly snapped to look at him and she saw what she needed in him. Strength despite the losses he had faced.

She wanted that. She wanted to be strong despite what had happened to her. She pleaded with him without words but with her eyes, her big pale blue eyes that shined with big gut-wrenching tears and he couldn’t stop himself from gathering her up in his arms clutching her to his lean body. She sobbed into his shoulder, gripping the shirt that adorned his back tightly in her hands and kept repeated the words, “Make me strong, please.” His hands alternated between stroking the back of her head to rubbing smooth circles around her back and just his touch brought Alana comfort. “Yah are strong, Alana. Yah wouldn’t have been able to survive all that if yah weren’t.” Rick whispered to her as she burrowed her face further into his shoulder trying to get away from everything.

She held onto him like he was her rock, her only source of hope and strength. He said she was strong but right then and there she felt anything but that. She didn't feel like she had been strong letting those men do what they wanted with her body. She felt weak for not fighting back. She had just laid there and let them violate her in every way possible. How was that strong?

Alana moved her head away from Rick's neck and looked up at him with a questioning expression on her face. "How am I strong, Rick? How am I strong for letting those men.." She began to ask as Rick shook his head at her and leaned down to rest his forehead down against her own. "Yah are strong. I wouldn't be standin' here holdin' onto yah if yah weren't. Yah did what yah had tah tah survive. We all have done stuff tah survive we maybe aren't very proud of but in this world we are forced tah do things that we wouldn't have even thought of doing before everythin' went tah shit," Rick said to her as she tried to keep herself from bursting into gut-wrenching sobs. "Yah are the strongest person I have ever met. Yah survived all that shit, yah can survive anythin'." Rick then let his hands rest on the sides of her face and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. She didn't reply or anything. All she did was let his words repeat in her head.

_Yah are the strongest person I have ever met. Yah survived all that shit, yah can survive anythin'._

**  
She didn't know why but in that moment she believed him.**


	2. Chapter | One

_Chapter | One_

“ _You didn’t wake me up._ ” Alana heard Carl call out from where she was mucking around in the pig’s pen. The blonde looked up from her spot next to the piglet Carl had dubbed _Violet_ and saw the young man walking towards Rick who was standing just outside the pen watching Alana in amusement as she seemed to be playing around in the mud. Rick shook his head at that thought and chuckled lowly to himself as he saw Alana desperately trying to get Violet up and moving but to no avail.  Rick hated that Carl had named the piglet because naming it meant there was sentiment there, that meant attachment and it would be a hell of a lot harder to kill something that he was attached to. "'cause I knew you were up all night reading comic books with a flashlight." Rick replied as Carl smiled sheepishly and subtly nodded his head confirming his father’s statement which made Alana laugh at the pair. “Aw, c’mon sheriff! Every boy’s gotta read comics! Hell I stayed up reading comics until I had to go to school once when I was his age. Of course, I fell asleep in one of my classes and my dad was called but I stayed up all night like a real adult!” Alana joked as both Rick and Carl laughed at the mud covered young woman.

Alana had taken to calling Rick, sheriff, after overhearing Rick’s former profession mentioned while Daryl and Beth were talking. Everyone was still trying to guess what Daryl’s profession before the apocalypse was and Zach had even made a game of it. Daryl allowed him one guess per run and Alana even tried to sneak a guess in before everyone else was awake, surprisingly Daryl didn’t yell at her for asking but just shook his head at all her ridiculous guesses. Of course, Rick didn’t mind her jests and he reciprocated the nickname back at her after hearing a conversation between Carol and Alana where Carol had asked what the young blonde did before the world went to shit. Alana’s answer made him laugh a little too loud so he was discovered by the two women eavesdropping. He could still remember the look on Alana’s face when she walked up to him trying to hide behind the corner like a little child, her hands were placed on her hips like a disapproving mother, and there was a smirk on her lips because she liked to idea of catching their leader red handed.

“Well, look at that. Ballerina over there was a wild child who woulda guessed.” Rick remarked with a smirk as Alana raised an eyebrow at him and threateningly grasped a lump of mud in her hands daring Rick to call her that again. Rick raised his hands up in mock surrender supporting a tiny smirk of his own as Carl laughed at the pairs antics. Carl walked up next to his father at the pen’s fence and looked in at Violet frowning at the tired looking piglet. "What's up with Violet?" He asked Alana as she peered down at the lounging little creature and frowned herself. "Carl, I told you not to name them. They're not piglets anymore. They're food." Rick scolded the teen as Carl looked up at his father not fully understanding what it was he was getting scolded for. Having enough of their moppy depressing faces, Alana grabbed a handful of mud in her hand and chucked it at Rick’s face laughing like a hyena when the glob smacked against Rick’s scruff covered cheek causing the older man to look at her in awe which she replied to with a casual shoulder shrug. “Stop moping around, Grimes. We got farming and shit to do.” Alana told them loudly making both of them chuckle at her methods as she went and lept over the fence landing in front of Carl before taking his sheriff’s hat from his head and planting it atop hers with a shit-eating grin across her lips. Carl gave up after a few minutes of trying to get the hat from her head and looked back at Violet who laid still just as she had minutes before. Alana moved to stand next to Rick who was grinning down at her and she just wiggled her eyebrows up at him laughing coyly.

"I don't know what's going on with her. Could be sick. Could be nothing,” Rick began to say as he looked away from Alana and glanced over at Carl who looked up at him expectantly relying on his father for the answers. Rick shrugged his shoulders and looked back at Violet before clicking his tongue at her as if that would get her up and moving. “Feel better… Violet. C'mon let's get to it." Alana moved away from the pair, not before taking Carl’s hat off her head and placing it on top the boy’s, and she went back to tending to the animals, well just the piglets because Michonne had the horse and there were no other animals. She glanced over her shoulder at the Grimes’ men and smiled at the scene before her. Rick walked alongside Carl with an arm wrapped around the younger boy’s shoulder, talking to him and Carl looked up at his father as he spoke words of wisdom down at him. She liked this scene before her, not the scene she had first come across when the two Grimes’ men were in the same vicinity. In this scene, the two reminded her of Mufasa and Simba when Mufasa was showing Simba all the land that the lion’s controlled. “Everything the light touches is our kingdom.” Alana whispered to herself as she grabbed the bucket of slop for the piglets and spread it out in the trough they had made for the animals. The scene she had first encountered was more like the scene right before Scar let Mufasa fall into the stampede of wildebeests. Carl had been angry at Rick for taking his gun away. The look on Carl’s face had been terrifying to witness. It was worrisome how much anger and hatred were in the young boy’s eyes.

She heard Hershel before she actually saw him. His gimp leg gave him away, creaking and groaning at the older man moved across the uneven surface. “You know, Hops, you aren’t really all that stealthy anymore. Your peg leg gives you away.” Alana remarked out loud as Hershel moved outside the fenced pen and laughed at her nickname for him. Of course, Alana pretty much had nicknames for everyone. Carol was Mama Bear because of how protective she was of everyone, Glenn was known as Pizza Man after she found out about his past life, Beth was Little Songbird because she was pretty much always singing, Hershel was Hops because of his gimp leg, Tyreese was Hammer-Time for obvious reasons, Carl was Deputy because he was a miniature version of Rick, and there were others that she only used on special occasions. The special occasions were mainly for grumpy ole Daryl who hated Alana’s dumb nicknames, his words. “Aw shucks, you mean I am not gonna win the hide and seek game the kids are gonna be playing this afternoon. Dang, I was hoping to come out the champion,” Hershel joked back at her as Alana laughed at his remark and leaned against the fence looking up at the older man. “How’s your arm doing?” Alana lifted a mud covered hand to the bandage that was wrapped around the upper part of her left arm and sighed remembering exactly how she had been wounded, being a fucking idiot.

She had thought that she would be okay checking the traps quickly by herself. She regretted doing so and remembered every word of the lecture Rick had given her when he and Daryl managed to get her back inside the fences. “What were yah thinkin’? Yah could’ve died, yah could’ve been bit and yah still went out there on yer own!” She had tried to explain to him that she wanted to contribute to the group, everyone was off doing their own thing and she didn’t think much else of it because she had never had to think about what others would feel or think if something happened to her. “I wasn’t thinking Rick. I’m sorry.” The conversation had been pretty much one sided with Rick yelling at her for being so stupid and for not thinking about how her death would affect others. She had managed to slice her arm open running away from a horde of Walkers. Her arm had caught on a tree branch that had been sticking out in her path as she ran as fast as she could and the jagged end of the dead branch had broken her skin leaving her with a large gash across her arm. Rick and Daryl had run out at the sounds of her screams for help and had found her standing with her back against the tree trunk, bloody crowbar gripped in her right hand readying to smash into the skull of the next Walker to approach her.

“It’s fine.” Alana replied harsher than she had wanted to speak to Hershel but he understood her hostility. She wasn’t proud of what she had done and in all honesty she really wanted it all to be behind her but she knew that Rick wouldn’t just let it go because he was Rick and he didn’t want her to get hurt anymore than she already had been hurt. “He just wants you to be safe, Alana. You know that right?” Hershel said to her as she nodded her head at him and looked over at the man in question who was already looking at the pair conversing. Alana then waved at Rick coyly and wandered over with Hershel to get lessons on farming with Rick.

Alana, of course, was only half listening to what Hershel was telling them. She was paying closer attention to the Walkers lined up along the metal fence. "These leaves are gonna be in the shade so we won't get any good fruit from 'em. So we just pinch it off here. Things break but they can still grow. These little bristels they'll take root. We'll have a whole new plant." Alana’s attention went back to what Hershel was saying as she felt Rick shift right next to her. He was uneasy as well but not for the same reasons as her. He wasn’t meant to be a farmer, Alana knew that. He was meant to be the leader, to be doing leader-esque things but because of the rift he had seen in he and Carl’s relationship and the thought of Carl growing up brutal and animalistic made him need to change his role in the group.

A sharp whistle cut through the air and the approaching thunder of hooves echoed. “Let’s go!” Rick called out to Carl as the two of them sprinted for the gates to open them for Michonne and the horse. Alana stayed behind watching with Hershel as the two Grimes’ men strained to get the gate open. Alana didn’t go to help them because she didn’t want a front row seat if something went wrong. Either Michonne getting thrown off the horse and getting bit, a Walker managing to get past the defenses and taking a chunk out of Rick or Carl, or even just the horse trampling one of the Grimes’ men. She didn’t want to be one to witness more death. Then again, that often was inevitable. She sauntered up by the trio as Michonne hopped down from the horse and was digging through her side saddle. Alana watched as Michonne pulled some comic books out of the side saddle and handed them to Carl who couldn’t help exclaiming his happiness.  "No way. Awesome. Thank you." He thanked Michonne as she chuckled at his response and told him that when he was done, she got to read them.

Then Michonne turned towards Rick and handed him an object that made Alana laugh loudly. “And I found this. Your face is losing a war." She told him with a smile on her face as he shook his head and looked down at the electric razor she had placed in his hand. “I think the rugged cowboy look suits our resident sheriff’s deputy.” Alana remarked out loud while Rick just ignored the pair’s jests and put his hands on his hips, sizing Michonne up, visually checking her for injuries. "You gonna stay a little while?" Rick asked Michonne as she moved by her horse grabbing yet another item from her side saddle before turning to look at Alana momentarily ignoring Rick’s query. She smirked at Alana making the blonde quirk an eyebrow at her wondering why the hell she was giving her that look. Then Michonne held out a pair of worn shitkickers and Alana’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Oh my god, Michonne! You are my new favorite person.” Alana exclaimed as she took the boots into her hands and danced around like a young child after getting the present they really wanted for their birthday.

“Just a little while.” Michonne replied as Daryl coasted down towards them on his motorcycle. When Daryl stopped in front of Michonne and alongside Rick, Alana wedged her way between the two men and lazily leaned with her arm braced on Daryl’s shoulder. The archer’s only response was a half second glare that was flickered at her before he turned his attention back on the katana wielding badass standing with her arms lazily crossed over her chest. “Well, look who’s back.” Daryl remarked in an amused tone as Alana glanced over at Rick who was grinning at her because this was probably the longest Daryl had ever let anyone touch him before. Alana and Daryl had a older brother, younger sister relationship where even though Alana tried her best to annoy him every chance she got, Daryl still adored her all the same.

“Didn’t find him.” Michonne said solemnly as Daryl just nodded his head. There wasn’t much else to say. Alana felt out of place in this conversation. She had really no right to even be apart of it. She didn’t know The Governor. She didn’t know what he had done to them. Well, she did but she only had the stories, and not the first hand knowledge. She knew that he had made them lose so many important people namely the most recent being the prominent reason for Michonne to be searching for him in the first place, Andrea. Alana feeling out of her comfort zone, tried to walk away from the small group’s discussion but was stopped by a calloused hand wrapping itself around her narrow wrist. Alana turned to see Rick holding onto her wrist looking at her pleadingly as if she could possibly help persuade Michonne to not do something stupid like traveling to Macon in search of The Governor on her own. "70 miles of Walkers, might run into a few unneighborly types, is it?" Daryl said matter of factly to Michonne as she huffed like a child being told they can’t get a snack from the grocery store. "I'm gonna check out the Big Spot, one I was talking about just seeing." Daryl told Rick as he turned towards Alana and Rick who still were holding hands. Neither of the two were really aware of the fact that they hadn’t let go of the other’s hand and this didn’t go unnoticed by the archer. "We gotta go out and check the snares. I don't want to lose whatever we catch to the Walkers." Rick said as he slowly let Alana’s hand slip from his grasp and loosely hung his hand by his side. "I'll go." Michonne volunteered as Carl remarked on the fact that she had just gotten there to which she replied humorously with, "And I'll be back."

Alana grabbed ahold of the horse’s reigns as Rick ran ahead, tossing the razor to the side, opening the gates with Carl for the group to leave for their run. As Carl and Rick ran towards Alana who was gently guiding the horse towards the pen, she could hear Carl asking Rick if he was going to be checking the snares. Alana knew that Carl was getting anxious being cooped up in the prison expected to act like a child that he doesn’t feel he is but she respected Rick’s decision to keep Carl inside the prison walls, an extra layer of protection. "Alana and I are and you're not,” Rick told Carl as he took the horse’s reigns from Alana and leaded the horse into its pen before turning back towards Carl who was doing his teenage boy pout at him. “Do your chores. Read comics. Maybe some books, too,” Rick suggested to Carl as he gently pet the horse on its nose. “Hang out with... Patrick. Maybe go to story time." The look that Carl gave Rick as he suggested that Carl go to story time was absolutely priceless. Carl really hated the idea of having to do anything that was remotely babyish in Carl’s standard of thinking. "Dad, that's for kids." Carl groaned as Rick raised an eyebrow at his boy. "Yeah. Now brush her down." He told Carl as he pet the horse once more on the nose before gently placing a kiss on its snout. He then gestured for Alana to follow him and that’s when the pair ran into Hershel who hobbled towards them making it really hard for Alana not to giggle at the image that popped into her head of Hershel sporting a wooden peg leg.

"Nothing wrong with staying close, Rick. Everyone understands. You're growing us enough food so we won't need to do runs soon,” Hershel remarked as he gazed at the little farm over Rick’s shoulder. “But we do need to find you a good pair of overalls. You need to look the part,” Hershel joked as Alana giggled knowing what was going to be suggested. “A little piece of wheat out of the corner of your mouth. Maybe a bigger ass." That was when Alana bursted out into gut-wrenching belly laughs that caused her to hunch over like some sort of Frankenstein creature. It was her little, little laughing fit that made both Rick and Hershel chuckle which only caused her to laugh even harder. “I don’t think there is anything wrong with Rick’s ass, Hershel.” Alana responded before she could even think about what she was saying. Her cheeks turned beet red when she saw Rick glance over at her out of the corner of her eye and she regretted her words right then and there. The two men glossed over Alana’s little slip of the tongue something the young blonde was immensely thankful for and went on with their conversation. "Listen, the rest of the council -- Daryl, Glenn, Carol, Sasha, all of them -- they wanted me to talk to you. When you go out there, you got to take your gun." Hershel told Rick as Alana rolled her eyes knowing that none of the council really wanted to tell Rick what to do especially after everything he had done for all of them. Rick quickly remarked on the fact that he and Alana would be just outside the fences and that six bullets wouldn’t make the difference out there. "Rick, we want you to be safe. Bring your gun." Hershel said again but this time more firmly with little to no room for discussion from Rick wasn’t pleased with being told to take his gun with him.

* * *

 

“Do you know what happened to your father after all this happened?” Rick asked Alana as he pried the dead rabbit from the snare, gesturing to the world around him as the word this left his mouth. Rick tended to get extremely talkative whenever they were alone. Whether that be in the cell that they shared or while checking the snares, Alana was surprised by how much Rick talked when it was just the two of them. More times than not, he would ask questions about her life before the apocalypse but he rarely ever freely gave up information about his own unless Alana asked and even then he was very hesitant to say anything. Alana understood why Rick was so guarded and less than forthcoming with information about his past life. He had lost so much from that life before the world went to shit. Talking about the things he had lost just brought all that pain back and made him relive those losses all over again.

Alana glanced over at Rick as he walked a little ways ahead of her and knew exactly what he was asking. Do you know if he is alive or not? In truth, Alana didn’t know for sure if her father was still alive but she just had this gut feeling that he had made it, he had survived this long and she’d see him again one day as child-like and foolish as that sounded, she needed to believe that whole heartedly. “When everything fell apart, he had called me from a hospital in Atlanta. Grady Memorial Hospital, I think. He had told me to leave the city, Atlanta, and make my way up towards Missouri. He had a brother who lived in a small city just outside St. Louis and he told me that he would meet me there,” Alana spoke these words without a shake or quiver in her voice although she felt herself ready to breakdown, ready to let the fact that she had had to leave her father behind in a city that had been bombed. “He’s still alive. I just know it. I have to believe that he had managed to get out of Atlanta because I know that he would not let anything keep him from me.” Rick looked at Alana with that same look he had given her four weeks ago when she had told him about her nightmare.

“Your father was a cop, right?” Rick asked, trying to sweep the previous question he had asked under the rug and Alana was grateful for that. She quickly nodded her head at him and walked a little quicker to walk alongside him, beginning a story about her father and his unit. “My father had this officer in his unit who got promoted to the like second in command and she was the biggest OCD he had ever seen. It was to the point that her uniform had to have absolutely no creases in it or she wouldn’t wear it. She also organized all the other officers’ desks and if anything was out of place on other people’s desks, she would go ballistic. One day, Officer O’Donnell decided he wanted to get back at Dawn for unloading all the paperwork on him the previous night and messed with all of the desks in the precinct. My father said he had never seen anyone act so crazy before.” Rick laughed at the stories that Alana told about her father and his fellow officers as he gathered up the animals they had caught in the traps and snares. He’d then walk up behind Alana and stuff the animals into the backpack that she had dangling from her shoulders. He chuckled when he noticed the fact that Alana had put on one of his shirts in her haste. Before they had come out to check the snares, Rick had told Alana that she had ten minutes to change and Alana had come back out five minutes later because she knew that he was looking for any reason to go out by himself. “Nice shirt.” Rick remarked as Alana glanced down at the shirt she was wearing and could only laugh because she hadn’t even realized that she had grabbed one of his shirts and not one of her own.

Both Rick and Alana stopped in their tracks when they saw an animal laying defeated on the ground like it had just given up. It was curious to Alana and something didn’t feel right about the entire situation to her. As Rick began to move forward to approach the suffering animal, Alana saw movement out of the corner of her eye and she latched onto Rick’s wrist quickly pulling him behind the tree trunk with her. The figure rushed towards the animal falling to its knees next to the animal and it looked like a Walker. It was covered in mud from head to toe and bits and patches of blood were visible. Hearing it speak was the last thing Alana expected to hear when she and Rick tried to sneak away. "Wait... Please. Please?” The figure spoke, her voice cracking as she tried to be louder to catch Rick and Alana’s attention. Rick looked back at the woman in confusion because both he and Alana had been under the assumtion that she was a Walker and now she spoke. “Please help me.” Alana watched as Rick turned around to face this woman fully but she couldn’t do it herself. This woman gave her this gut feeling that something was not right at all with her. She looked like someone who would end up slitting your throat in the middle of the night. “I know you don't know me. Okay, I know that. But can you please help me get this to my husband? We haven't eaten in days." Alana almost groaned out loud knowing that those words would definitely get a reaction out of Rick.

It wasn’t that Alana didn’t want to help this woman, she did but she didn’t feel right about the whole situation at all. Then Rick reached into the satchel that hung from his shoulder and pulled out the sandwich that was supposed to be for him and Alana to share, holding it out to the woman, telling to her to go ahead and take it from him. Alana watched as the woman hesitantly took the sandwich from Rick and thanked him for it but her next question, chilled Alana to her bones. “Do you have a camp around here?" Alana wanted Rick to lie to the woman but he didn’t, he told her flat out that they had a camp near there and Alana wanted to shoot Rick right then and there. "Could we possibly come back with you? We've been doing... very badly on our own." In all honesty, Alana didn’t know if she trusted the woman’s story. She had seen people lie blatantly to her face and she had done it herself just to survive. How far would this woman go just to live? What was stopping her from leading Rick and Alana into a herd of Walkers or leading them to a group where they would be tortured and beaten possibly in Alana’s case raped all over again? That thought of possibly being thrown back into a group where she would be used and thrown around like piece of trash, made Alana want to kill this woman to prevent that from happening. Of course, after that thought went through her mind, she regretted even considering hurting this woman when she really could need help. "I'd have to meet him. I need to ask him some questions, both of you." Rick’s words puzzled Alana as they also puzzled the woman.

“What questions?” The woman asked as Alana glanced at Rick wondering what the actual hell he was even talking about. She had never been asked questions before she was allowed into the group. Was this some new thing that she hadn’t been informed of? "Just three. When we get there,” Rick told the woman as he lifted his hands up to show the woman that he wasn’t going to attack her as he moved towards her just slightly.  "You have a gun on you?" The woman shook her head but Alana looked at the woman skeptically because she wouldn’t be out alone if she didn’t have a weapon on her. Rick glanced back Alana over his shoulder and she shook her head at him, fearing that something bad would happen if he approached the woman. "Can I make sure?"

Alana was surprised when the woman nodded her head at Rick’s question and allowed Rick to come up behind her and frisk the woman checking her for any weapons. She wasn’t surprised though when Rick found a knife hanging from a little holster on her belt. "Look I don't know you so I'm just gonna tell you this,” Rick spoke lowly and threateningly to the woman pointing the knife at her, looking her in the eyes. “You try anything, anything -- you're gonna be the one who loses." Alana knew that Rick wasn’t joking at all when he threaten this woman. He would cut her down if she made one threatening step towards either him or Alana. "I don't have anything else to lose." She whispered back to Rick who shook his head at her and told her that she did have something to lose. Her husband. Alana thought silently as Rick hesitantly held her knife out to her and nodded for her to go ahead and take it.

Alana reluctantly followed behind Rick as the woman moved to lead them to where her husband had stayed behind and she couldn’t shake the feeling in the back of her mind that they could very well be walking straight into a trap.

* * *

Alana listened closely as Clara, the woman they had found in the woods, retold the story of her life after the apocalypse and she was amazed at how much attention Rick was giving this woman. “When they shut down the airports, our connecting flight never connected. They wouldn't let us leave the terminal, so... we slept next to these huge marble sculptures from Zimbabwe. Then, on the fourth night, the things just came through. There were a lot of us and…” Clara paused for a moment standing directly in front of Rick, looking at him like she was pleading with him to understand to her. “Now its just Eddie and me. And I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for him. And it isn't that... he saved me over and over again or that he showed me the things that I had to do or... to be willing to do. If he wasn't still here... I -- I couldn't be. I just -- I couldn't."

The thing that unsettled Alana not knowing what things she had to be willing to do. What kind of person was Eddie? Was he Joe and his group? "What were they?" Rick asked for both Alana and himself, knowing that Alana was wondering the exact same thing. Clara didn’t quite understand what Rick was asking her. "The things you had to be willing to do?" Alana asked Clara as the woman looked at her surprised because Alana hadn’t spoken a word to her since she wandered across them. "Um... Eating whatever we could find -- animal carcasses and rotten fruit -- and... leaving people behind,” Clara hesitated to say the last part and Alana could understand her hesitation because she obviously didn’t want to say anything that might ruin her and her husband’s chances of getting into their group. “Hiding from people who needed my help. Unlike you." Clara looked straight at Rick when she said unlike you and Rick just shook his head at her. He wasn’t doing this for her. He was doing for his conscience’s sake more than anything. "This is not charity,” Rick clarified for Clara as the trio began moving again. “You have to have numbers. People are the best defense against Walkers or people. We help each other." Alana noticed a change in Clara’s demeanor when Rick mentioned Walkers and that set out a little spark in the back of Alana’s head. Who is this woman? "You call them "walkers"?" Clara asked as if calling them that was so wrong.

This woman really creeped Alana out.

* * *

The trio was quiet for a good long while before Rick spoke all of a sudden, slightly scaring Alana for a second at the close proximity of his voice to her ear. "I saw those sculptures at the airport once. My favorite was the kids playing leapfrog." He said with humor in his voice as if he were imagining Carl and the kids back at the prison playing leapfrog.  "Mine, too,” Clara’s answer was almost distracted and it made Alana look at Rick seeing if he noticed the difference in her voice alone. From the look on his face, Alana could tell that he too noticed the change in her voice and her facial features. “What Eddie and I had to do, did you do things like that?” Clara looked at both Rick and Alana searching their faces for the answer to her question.

Neither Alana nor Rick wanted to answer that question so they both remained silent but that didn’t stop Clara’s curiousity. “Did you?” She asked again as Alana made eye contact with her and she nodded her head at the raven-haired woman who returned her nod. “Do you think you get to come back from them?" Now that was a question that Alana hadn’t asked herself. Could she really come back from all that had happened with Joe and his group? Could she get her innocence back? She glanced over at Rick who looked to be deep in thought and she wanted to ask him that question herself, knowing that if she asked him, he might give her a straight answer. "I hope so." Rick answered curtly hoping that Clara would drop the subject entirely if he just gave his two cents. "Yeah? I hope we answer your three questions to your satisfaction." Clara’s remark on the three questions made Alana question what exactly this woman had done and why was her husband not with her.

* * *

When they reached the clearing that lead out into Clara's campsite, Alana knew something was off. Eddie hadn't made a sound yet. He hadn't even ventured out to see who had wandered into his camp. "Eddie. Oh, thank God you're still here," Clara said as both Rick hesitantly walked further into the camp. Alana looked around, glancing into the tent which seemed as if no one ever slept in it. It was too neat and clean. Clara couldn't possibly have slept in there without getting it dirty even just a little bit. Then Clara ran over towards a wooden crate falling to her knees gushing over what seemed to be nothing. Alana looked over at Rick who wore a similar look on his face as she did. What the fuck had they gotten into? "This is Rick and Alana. They are gonna help us. Everything's gonna be okay. Everything -" They had their backs turned for only a few seconds when Clara screamed out and the next thing Alana knew, there was excruciating pain emanating from her right shoulder and she was laying flat on her back. "Damn it!" Rick yelled loudly as he leaned down just enough to pull Alana up onto her feet.

Alana looked down at Clara who was curled up in on herself sobbing and gasping for air. Weirdly enough, Alana wasn't mad at her for slicing her open. She saw herself in Clara. She was doing what she had to do to survive. Alana understood that. "I wanted to take the boar. I just knew - I knew I'd get you here so much quicker," Clara told Rick as she gasped the words out between sobs before she tried to sit herself up. "He's starving. He's slowing. He needs something alive," Alana knew then that Eddie wasn't Eddie anymore. "Please, I told you, I can't be without him. And so I kept him. It was wrong. I can't do things like this," Alana could see Rick practically falling apart inside and she could feel him trying to keep himself together. "And - and you have to do things like this. Let me be like him," Alana didn't want to believe it but she knew what Clara was going to do. She was going to kill herself. She just wanted to live on with her husband. Alana wanted to be strong watching this scene play out in front of her. Clara falling apart, begging to be with her husband. Maybe this was what happened when the world that they lived in now took hold of them, they just give up. "Don't stop it. Don't end it after." Rick didn't figure out what Clara was going to do until it was too late. "Let me be with him." Clara pleaded with Rick as she picked her knife up and quickly drove it inwards towards her abdomen. "NO!" Rick yelled in disparity as Clara plunged the knife into her stomach and Alana couldn't watch. She had to look away. Rick looked back at her with tears in his eyes and she wanted so badly to wrap him up in her arms.

Clara then fell forward and was gasping in pain, silently sobbing, her body racking with tears. Rick didn't know what to do. Neither did Alana. She had never been around someone while they were bleeding internally. She didn't know what to say to her to comfort her. "Hey." Rick spoke softly as he crouched down next to Clara who was trying really hard to look up at him. "What were... the questions? The three questions?" She asked as her breaths came out labored and harsh. "How many Walkers have you killed?" Rick asked her as she clutched her stomach tightly. "Eddie-Eddie killed-killed them all. Until..." Clara started to say as Rick nodded at her signalling to her that he understood what she was trying to say. "How many people have you killed?" Rick said with tears welling up in his eyes, ready to spill out of their confines. "Just me. Just me." She whispered as Alana moved up behind Rick and crouched down next to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Why?" He croaked out as Clara's breaths hitched roughly causing her whole body to jerk.

"You don't-you don't get to come back. You don't get to come back from things. You don't..." Clara breathed out as she closed her eyes and took her last breath. Rick lost it then, sobs lurching out of his body and all Alana could do was wrap her arms around him and hope that that was what he needed.

* * *

Alana laid awake that night unable to sleep. Her mind kept wandering from Clara to the three questions Rick had asked her. She still didn't understand why he hadn't asked her those questions when Maggie and Glenn brought her back. She was laid out flat on her back on the top bunk in the cell that she and Rick shared and she heard a shift in his breathing, one that Alana knew meant he was awakening. She took this as her moment to ask the question that had been racking her brain all day. She gracefully hopped down from her bunk and was met with Rick's sleepy eyes gazing up at her questioningly. "What's wrong, Alana?" Rick asked softly sitting up quickly on his bunk, suddenly more awake than he had been two seconds before. "Why did you never ask me those questions, Rick?" She whispered to him as he leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. What? was Rick's sleepy response. "Why did you not ask me those questions you asked Clara?" She repeated as Rick scrubbed a calloused hand down his face and sighed loudly.

"I didn't ask you those questions because I didn't see the need." Rick responded as she looked at him confused. How could she possibly have looked like she didn't need to be asked those questions? She would've never let herself in if she had been Rick and his group. "Why did you not see a need to ask me?" She implored wanting more of an explanation from the older man. "Because you looked so broken and beaten down that I didn't think you would be much of a threat. I never thought you'd even talk to anyone after seeing you for the first time." Rick told her as he looked her straight in the eyes waiting to see her response to his answer. That was the first time that Rick had ever admitted that Alana wasn't this strong warrior he imagined her to be. Ask me, please was all that Alana said to Rick.

He quirked an eyebrow at her confused as to why she wanted him to ask these questions of her now after she was already a part of their group. "Ask me." She repeated almost pleadingly as if she needed to be asked these three simple questions. Rick sat there quietly for a few minutes and Alana half expected him to lay back down, fall back asleep and completely forget about her but then he asked her the first question. "How many Walkers have you killed?" He asked her as she nodded her head and ringed her hands together as if her answers would determine if she would remain in the group. Rick wanted to tell her that she didn't need to worry about being forced to leave but he decided against it and just let her answer the question. "I don't know. I used to keep track as a way to kind of keep myself sane but I just lost count and know I don't really think before I kill one. It's either it or me." She responded quietly keeping her head bowed so she didn't have to watch Rick's reactions to her responses. Rick understood Alana's answer. He had done the same thing at the beginning but now everything seemed to mesh together and he had no clue how many of them he had killed. "How many people have you killed?" He asked softly as Alana looked up at him and pleaded with him to not think of her any differently, using only her eyes. One was Alana's quiet response and Rick didn't need to even ask the last question because soon after her answer to the second question, she told him why. "I killed him so that he couldn't hurt anyone else like he had hurt me." She whispered to him as she looked him straight in the eyes and let the tears flow out from her.

**  
Then she crawled back up onto her bunk and left Rick to wallow in his own thoughts. All that could be heard was the dead silence of the prison and that brought her absolutely no comfort. She wrapped her arms around herself and willed herself to fall asleep and momentarily forget this day. The moment she closed her eyes, all she saw was Clara's face as she launched herself at Alana with her knife raised in the air. The look in her eyes was what really haunted Alana's memory. There was absolutely nothing there. Just death.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you guys enjoy it and leave me a comment below telling me what you think of the story!!!


	3. Preview for Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little preview of chapter two which I am currently working on. I would've posted the entire chapter if I had it all done but I have had the worst case of writer's block and the chapter is taking a whole lot longer than I expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any characters you recognize!

**The Road**

_Chapter | Two ~ Preview_

 

The glow from the full moon outside the cell block was the only source of light Rick had as he laid wide awake on his cot with Alana’s warm body flush against his. The bed sheet they were sharing pooled at the pair’s waists, leaving their bare torsos open to the nipping air around them. The moon’s light danced across Alana’s bare back revealing her scars to Rick. He had seen her brutal scars before but not at this close a proximity. The scars stretched from the tops of her shoulder blades to the base of her spin, at least the scars that he could see that weren't covered by the bed sheet. He knew that she had roping scars down her legs, both on the inner and outer parts of her pale thighs. He knew this because he had felt them only a few hours prior, wrapped around his lean waist.

He sighed softly and eased himself onto his side, facing Alana who was laying on her stomach with her right arm wrapped around his left arm like a snake constricting around its prey. He cautiously reached his right hand out, hovering above the many scars that embroidered her creamy skin, puckering up in harsh ugly pink lashes that contrasted greatly with her natural skin color. Softly, he let his fingers dust across one scar that stood out to him. The scar was jagged, thick and dark pink in color. It looked like a dull hunting knife had carved into her skin, zigzagging across her back from the top of her left shoulder blade, dragging across her body, ending at her right hip. Rick ghosted his fingertips over that gruesome scar, fighting the images that flooded his mind of how she got that blemish.

Alana stirred at Rick’s touch and tightened her grip around his left arm. Rick then leaned across her body, pressing a soft kiss to her right shoulder blade where the bandage covered the jagged laceration Clara had left on her body before he brought his arm around her and pulled her so that there was nothing between their bodies but their skin. Rick nuzzled his face into the back of her head where the base of her neck met her shoulders, breathing in deeply, taking in her scent. _Lilacs and sweat._ Rick thought to himself. It was a weird combination but it was purely her. She was all flowers and tomboyish flare. Alana shifted in her sleep underneath his torso and turned her head so that it was facing towards the cell wall, making her slightly chapped lips brush against his shoulder blade. Rick leaned back a little bit to gaze at her face and saw it contort and twist in fear. He brushed her wavy blonde hair away from her eyes and dusted a soft kiss against her forehead as she opened her eyes abruptly. They were wide with fear and all Rick wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms and take her away from all the destruction and sorrow in this world.

Rick didn't have time to react when Alana quickly turned her entire body around and wrapped her arms around his torso, making it so that she was laying on her back underneath him. She buried her face into his neck clutching his shoulders in her hands, digging her nails slightly into his bare skin. Rick gently rubbed the marred skin on her back, trying to ignore the feeling of her naked body pressed so tightly against his and mentally cursing himself for having any reaction in his nether region at a time like this where Alana just needed comfort. “What happened, Alana?” Rick whispered into her ear as she loosened her hold on him, allowing him to put some distance between her so he could look her in the eyes as she answered him. She only whimpered out one word and that was all Rick needed to know. _Nightmare_. He understood that her nightmares weren’t just nightmares, they were events that she had lived through and endured. Joe and The Claimers haunted her conscious mind and her unconsciousness whether she showed that outwardly or not, Rick knew that she was scared. “It’s okay, Alana. I won’t let them hurt you again. I will kill them if they ever try to lay a finger on you again.” Rick promised her as he brought his hand up to her chin forcing her to look him in the eyes. “I promise.” She then leaned her forehead against his and closed her eyes, relishing in the closeness, not knowing when the next time would be that they would have this kind of peace. Especially after everything that had happened that day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This past episode of The Walking Dead; Episode 13 "Forget" has inspired me and I have a lot of the story planned out but I just need to write it out. You'd think having the quotes and stuff already with following the TV show would be easy to write but it is a bitch to write. I hope you guys like this little preview and I hope to get the actual chapter up this weekend!


	4. Chapter | Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!! CHAPTER TWO!! 
> 
> Disclaimer I do not own any characters you recognize!!

**The Road**

_Then she crawled back up onto her bunk and left Rick to wallow in his own thoughts. All that could be heard was the dead silence of the prison and that brought her absolutely no comfort. She wrapped her arms around herself and willed herself to fall asleep and momentarily forget this day. The moment she closed her eyes, all she saw was Clara's face as she launched herself at Alana with her knife raised in the air. The look in her eyes was what really haunted Alana's memory. There was absolutely nothing there. Just death._

**_Chapter | Two_ **

The glow from the full moon outside the cell block was the only source of light Rick had as he laid wide awake on his cot with Alana’s warm body flush against his. The bed sheet they were sharing pooled at the pair’s waists, leaving their bare torsos open to the nipping air around them. The moon’s light danced across Alana’s bare back revealing her scars to Rick. He had seen her brutal scars before but not at this close a proximity. The scars stretched from the tops of her shoulder blades to the base of her spin, at least the scars that he could see that weren't covered by the bed sheet. He knew that she had roping scars down her legs, both on the inner and outer parts of her pale thighs. He knew this because he had felt them only a few hours prior, wrapped around his lean waist.

He sighed softly and eased himself onto his side, facing Alana who was laying on her stomach with her right arm wrapped around his left arm like a snake constricting around its prey. He cautiously reached his right hand out, hovering above the many scars that embroidered her creamy skin, puckering up in harsh ugly pink lashes that contrasted greatly with her natural skin color. Softly, he let his fingers dust across one scar that stood out to him. The scar was jagged, thick and dark pink in color. It looked like a dull hunting knife had carved into her skin, zigzagging across her back from the top of her left shoulder blade, dragging across her body, ending at her right hip. Rick ghosted his fingertips over that gruesome scar, fighting the images that flooded his mind of how she got that blemish.

Alana stirred at Rick’s touch and tightened her grip around his left arm. Rick then leaned across her body, pressing a soft kiss to her right shoulder blade where the bandage covered the jagged laceration Clara had left on her body before he brought his arm around her and pulled her so that there was nothing between their bodies but their skin. Rick nuzzled his face into the back of her head where the base of her neck met her shoulders, breathing in deeply, taking in her scent. _Lilacs and sweat_. Rick thought to himself. It was a weird combination but it was purely her. She was all flowers and tomboyish flare. Alana shifted in her sleep underneath his torso and turned her head so that it was facing towards the cell wall, making her slightly chapped lips brush against his shoulder blade. Rick leaned back a little bit to gaze at her face and saw it contort and twist in fear. He brushed her wavy blonde hair away from her eyes and dusted a soft kiss against her forehead as she opened her eyes abruptly. They were wide with fear and all Rick wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms and take her away from all the destruction and sorrow in this world.

Rick didn't have time to react when Alana quickly turned her entire body around and wrapped her arms around his torso, making it so that she was laying on her back underneath him. She buried her face into his neck clutching his shoulders in her hands, digging her nails slightly into his bare skin. Rick gently rubbed the marred skin on her back, trying to ignore the feeling of her naked body pressed so tightly against his and mentally cursing himself for having any reaction in his nether region at a time like this where Alana just needed comfort. “What happened, Alana?” Rick whispered into her ear as she loosened her hold on him, allowing him to put some distance between her so he could look her in the eyes as she answered him. She only whimpered out one word and that was all Rick needed to know. _Nightmare_. He understood that her nightmares weren’t just nightmares, they were events that she had lived through and endured. Joe and The Claimers haunted her conscious mind and her unconsciousness whether she showed that outwardly or not, Rick knew that she was scared. “It’s okay, Alana. I won’t let them hurt you again. I will kill them if they ever try to lay a finger on you again.” Rick promised her as he brought his hand up to her chin forcing her to look him in the eyes. “I promise.” She then leaned her forehead against his and closed her eyes, relishing in the closeness, not knowing when the next time would be that they would have this kind of peace. Especially after everything that had happened that day.

* * *

_About 24 hours earlier_

Alana glanced up from her spot leaning against the prison wall as the door to cell block C opened up and Rick and Carl wandered out. Rick's eyes immediately fell on her and he didn't say any words just nodded at her. That was the most he had done to acknowledge her that morning. She wondered if her response to his questions the night before really got to him.

**How many Walkers have you killed?**

_I don't know. I used to keep track as a way to kind of keep myself sane but I just lost count and now I don't really think before I kill one. It's either it or me._

It was stupid really to have tired to keep track of all the Walkers she had killed. At first, she had done it so she would have known exactly how many people she had taken from their families, not fully understanding that they weren't really people anymore. She didn't fully realize that until she had watched a horde of Walkers tear apart a person. After that her mind only thought of survival when it came to Walkers.

**How many people have you killed?**

_Just one._

And he deserved the pain she put him through. She only wished she had been able to draw it out longer. Tate's pain-filled screams had alerted Joe and his group and they had managed to pull Alana away from Tate's bloody body before she had gotten her vengeance.

**Why?**

_I killed him so that he couldn't hurt anyone else like he had hurt me._

And she did make sure that he wouldn't live through it. He couldn't hurt anyone else. He was nothing but dust on the ground.

She couldn't help but worry that Rick saw her differently after she made him ask her them. He hadn’t kicked her out yet so that was a semi-good sign. She was reluctant to even follow the two Grimes men out into the yard. She didn't want to overstep her bounds but when Rick stopped just a few feet short of the first fence leading out into the field outside the yard and beckoned her to come with them, she took those steps towards the pair. She was staring at the back of Rick’s tan button up shirt willing him to just talk to her about what had happened the night before.

She knew that he would most likely wait to talk to her when they were alone but she really doubted that he’d even bring it up. He’d just keep it bottled up until she did something that he somehow connected to her answers to those questions. She then realized that she had to take things into her own hands and corner Rick to get all this out in the open. She moved her legs a little faster to catch up with the two Grimes men and placed a hand on Rick’s shoulder, making the older man look back at her. She then slid her hand down to grip his bicep, keeping him from moving away from her and she did her best to keep herself strong and unyielding in her manner, leaving Rick no room to try to run away from this talk.

“Carl, go help Michonne with Flame. Your dad and I got to talk for a little bit. We’ll meet you over there when we are done.” Alana told Carl as she gestured towards Michonne who was preparing her horse for another run. Carl didn’t question her and ran over to help the warrior with her steed. Alana looked up at Rick out of the corner of her eye and saw him staring down at her. She removed her hand from his arm and defensively crossed her arms over her chest, almost holding her like she was getting a hug from someone. “Talk.” That was all she said to Rick as the pair stared at each other, shades of blue boring holes into the other’s body. He looked at her as if he had no idea what she was talking about and that was what set her off, his inability to admit that there was a rift between the two of them.

“Obviously my answers to your three questions are weighing on you, so talk to me, Rick! Tell what the fuck you are thinking about me right now!” She yelled as she shifted her position to have her hands hanging at her sides and kept her burning gaze locked onto Rick who had yet to even open his mouth. When she got absolutely no response from the bearded bastard, she became furious and all bets were off. “You are so hypocritical! How many people have you killed, Rick Grimes? Five… Ten… Twenty people? And why did you kill them? To keep your family safe! I killed one person to make sure he didn't hurt anyone else and you treat me like I killed him in cold blood!” Rick opened his mouth to speak but Alana didn't stop, she kept yelling because she had let all this pain simmer inside her and now it  was boiled so she needed to let it out.

“You don’t get to judge me or my actions! You didn't have to go through what I went through. You didn't have to let gross, pigheaded men touch, caress and do what they wanted to do with you so that you could stay alive. You don’t have ugly scars littering your body as constant reminders of the pain and agony you let them inflict on you. You never had to feel like you were all alone and there was no one out there to come and save you. You had an entire group to lean on and I had no one so you do not get to judge me, you bearded bastard!” She stood less than half a foot from Rick, jabbing her right forefinger into his sternum, beet red in the face and he still had not yet made a move to respond. “You seriously have nothing to say to that at all? You know what Grimes, FUCK YOU!” Alana moved to storm away from Rick but was tugged back by a calloused hand wrapping around her bony wrist. She spun around quickly, raising her right hand ready to slap the shit out of the stupid bastard but when she was turned all the way around, her hand didn't immediately hit Rick’s face. She tilted her head up to look at Rick whose face was incredibly close.

The next thing she knew, his lips were pressing into hers with a sort of passion she couldn't remember feeling before. His large, calloused, work toughened hands cradled her soft face, holding her close to himself. Alana’s eyes were open and wide in surprise while Rick’s eyes were closed and he looked so relaxed. She didn't really allow herself to let her guard down until she felt Rick’s thumbs caressing her cheekbones and the subtle press of Rick’s lips moving against hers. She could feel the coarse hairs of his salt and pepper beard brushing against her skin and something about that feel was exhilarating. Her hands searched for something to grasp, to hold onto and they found a comfortable spot on his hips, looping her fingers through his belt loops.

The pair didn't pull away from each other until an echo of catcalls rang through the air and Alana glanced over Rick’s shoulder to find Carl and Michonne cheering and applauding the public display of affection that had been going on. Rick lowered his head so that his forehead rested on the juncture where her shoulder and neck sloped into each other and nuzzled his nose into her hair, which _almost_ made Alana forget why she was mad at the bearded soul in the first place. Key word there being almost. As much as she liked the affection being shined down on her, he wasn't getting away with ignoring her very existence not thirty minutes earlier.

She pushed lightly on Rick’s shoulders forcing him to move back a little bit and look down at her, not that he had all that much height on her, maybe only three or so inches. “As much as I appreciate what ever that just was, I’d appreciate an explanation more.” She told him calmly as he brought his hands to grasp her biceps and proceeded to caress her exposed pale skin. She gave him a knowing look because she knew this tactic, trying to distract her from the problem at hand with nice words and loving touches to get out of talking about feelings and shit. Her father used to do that a lot, not really wanting to talk emotions with her young teenage daughter. Of course that only worked for so long until Alana realized what he had been doing and called him out on it. “Yeah, you get to explain yourself to me without any touching or I am walking away from you and locking myself in the cell until you grow some testicles and talk to me about what is going through that graying head of yours.” Alana gave him the ultimatum hoping he’d pick the first choice but very much ready to sprint to the cell block if he stupidly picked the second. She had to hide the smile that wanted to grow onto her lips as Rick opened his mouth to speak. He had made the right choice. “You don’t like to talk about what happened out there, not really talk about it. You’ll mention it, giving me little bits and pieces but you don’t tell anyone anything of importance until you are ready, comfortable with them and that was what I was trying to do. Let you make the move to tell me what happened to you and not pressure you. I guess I pissed you off in the process.” Rick softly said as she leaned her head against his collarbone and wrapped her arms around his lean waist, grasping ahold of  the dusty tan shirt that covered his back. “You really couldn’t just tell me that from the start, you bastard.” Alana whispered as she pressed herself against Rick so that there was no room between the two of them. “You needed to get your anger out. Better you take that out on me than somebody else, like Daryl who would dish it right back at you.” He replied as if that was the easiest answer ever, like it had been plain and simple from the start what he had been doing, when it was quite the opposite.

“Thank you, Rick. That really means a lot to me,” She breathed out as he gently stroked her back and leaned his head against the top of hers. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at what she had said. She had managed that long surviving without him. That hadn’t been him helping her at all. She did that herself. Then it was Rick’s turn to push her lightly away from his body and hold her at arm’s length. “You’d be the same as you are now. Maybe punching a few more people but you’d still be as strong as you are now because I had nothing to do with your strength and your survival. You did that. You survived that.” Rick told her as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head while gently brushing back her golden blonde hair from her eyes. She smiled up at him and embraced him once more before turning and finding Flame standing not a foot from her, sniffing her hair like a dog. Rick, Michonne and Carl laughed at Alana’s reaction to how close the horse was to her face when she turned towards it. The four of them walked through the gate heading out into the field and Alana felt like the day couldn’t get any better. Nothing could dampen her mood.

“Careful out there.” Rick said to Michonne as she lead Flame down the gravel path towards the main gate. “Always am. Any requests?” Michonne asked as she looked over at Alana who had her arm draped over the younger of the Grimes men’s shoulders. “Books? Comics? Some stale M&Ms?” Alana couldn’t help but laugh at Michonne last example knowing that those were something that Michonne loved and in all honesty, she was probably alone in that love. “You’re the one that likes stale M&Ms.” Carl responded as both he and Alana fell into a fit of laughs together slightly hunching over with each belly-laugh. “Then I’ll definitely be looking for some. I’ll look for some stuff you like, too.” Michonne said as the trio began to break off from the little group. “Why don’t you wear your hat anymore?” Michonne called out to Carl who ducked out from underneath Alana’s arm and turned back towards her walking backwards towards the pig pen. “It’s not a farming hat. See you soon?” Carl said loudly as Michonne reassured him that she wouldn’t be gone for long. Then he turned back around and ran to catch up with his father and Alana who were already getting the buckets for the compost ready.

Alana remained quiet while mixing up the compost with her sheriff and deputy but the same couldn’t be said about Carl. He had a lot to say, most of which Alana knew Rick wouldn’t agree with at all. “They only took out one cluster yesterday. Probably gonna need more people today,” Alana knew what the younger man was alluding to and she also knew that Rick wouldn’t agreed to it, not even if she had suggested it. “Maybe we could help.” Alana wanted to scoff at Carl’s request because it was a really long shot asking Rick to allow Carl to go anywhere near those Walkers. “I got other plans involving dirt and cucumbers.” That was Rick’s brisk response and Alana hadn’t expected anything different from the bearded man. Alana was hoping that Rick’s words would shut Carl down completely but of course, Carl didn’t really get what Rick was hinting at. “Well, if you don’t want to, maybe I could,” Again Alana wanted to either laugh at Carl’s ignorance to the fact that there was no way in hell that Rick was gonna let him anywhere near the Walkers by the fence, not with the new mindset that he had acquired, or if she wanted to smack the teen in the back of the head for not seeing that his father was trying to keep him safe. “Could !?” Alana dared to glance over at Rick who seemed to be ignoring the rest of the world and raised an eyebrow at him because she was expecting him to have some words to say about the topic. “We have other plans. That’s what I should have said.” Rick responded as he picked up the bucket of compost and walked over towards the pig pen to give them the food.

Alana stood outside the pig pen and watched the two men interact. She didn’t like the tension between them. Rick was pouring the compost into the home made through as he handed Carl the empty bucket who gave him another bucket of compost. Carl stood a few feet away from Rick looking like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to go about saying it. “Dad…? I’m sorry. I’ve been trying.” Carl spoke softly as Rick looked over at him and Alana could see the pain that was in his eyes which made her want to gather both of them into her arms and never let them go. “Yeah, I know. And I’m proud.” Rick said almost half-heartedly. Maybe it was because he knew what was gonna be asked next and he didn’t want to have to say no again. “Dad, when can I have my gun back?” Alana watched Rick closely to see his reaction and she could tell he was contemplating his answer because he took a while to even say anything in response and when he did say something, he was trying to change the subject. “Worms will give them some extra protein.” Right after he said that, a gunshot echoed from inside the prison. The sound sent all three of them into defensive mode. “Stay close.” Rick said as he made his way out of the pen with Alana and Carl not far behind him.

“Help! Help!” Alana recognized the girl yelling and knew where she would have been coming from. “Please come quick!” The trio looked around in confusion not knowing what the hell was actually going on. “Cell block?” Maggie yelled down from the guard tower but they didn’t know anymore than she did. “I don’t know,” Rick called back to her as he placed his hand on Carl’s shoulder. Alana knew what he was going to say to the teen who wouldn’t take the command lightly. “Get in the tower with Maggie,” Carl opened his mouth to argue but Rick quickly shut him down. “Don’t argue, go.” Then Rick turned towards Alana who narrowed her eyes at him. “If you think for one second that I am letting you go in there alone, you are fucking nuts!” She retorted at him as he nodded his head and didn’t even bother to say what he had been going to say. The two of them ran into the prison yard, Rick threw his work gloves to the side as he was racing up towards the closed gate. “Walkers in D!” Glenn yelled loudly but that wasn’t Rick’s concern. Judith. Alana thought to herself. That is who he is worried about. “What about C?” Rick asked in desperation that made Alana want to hold him in her arms. “Clear. We locked the gates to the tombs. Hershel’s on guard.” Sasha reassured Rick as she, Daryl and Tyreese ran out of the building. “It ain’t a breach.” Daryl said as he passed Alana and Rick who were both confused as to how this had even happened. “We followed the plan.” Sasha told him as they moved towards cell block D in an organized group. Alana could tell that Rick didn’t feel comfortable just running in there because he didn’t have any weapons on him, not even his machete.

Inside cell block D was chaos. That was what Alana saw when she ran inside there. Blood, chaos, and death. A loud gunshot rang out from somewhere ahead of Alana and she ran into the warzone to see Daryl taking a shotgun away from one of the residents of cell block D. “Move!” Daryl yelled at the man as Rick called out his name and Daryl threw the shotgun back at Rick. “Are you bit?” Rick asked the man who had been holding the shotgun before who shook his head at him. “Go. Get out of here.” He yelled at the man as he handed the shotgun over to Alana who moved her way into the mess. She saw people she had talked to just the other day turned into creatures that she normally didn’t give a second thought to killing. She stood rooted in her spot watching as Glenn, Daryl, and Tyreese cleared the cell block of Walkers. It was a child’s blood curdling scream that brought her out of her trance and she turned around in time to witness a little boy’s shoulder being bitten and torn by a Walker. She sprung into action and ran towards the boy, raising the shotgun she had in her hands and blew the Walker’s head clean off in one shot. The sound of the gunshot echoed through her body and her ears rang loudly. She then felt a hand clutching her pants leg and she looked down to see the little boy laying on the ground with blood gushing from the bite wound on his shoulder. “Check all of ‘em -- every cell.” Alana heard Rick yell as she fell to her knees next to the boy and cradled him close to her body, not caring about the blood that was now coating her body. She frantically looked around for Carol, for anyone who could save this boy but what she was met with when she looked up wasn’t hope. Carol stood halfway through the doorway of a cell and looked down at Alana, shaking her head at the blonde, telling her that there was no saving him.

Alana’s attention went back to the boy in her arms and tried her hardest to keep herself from breaking down. She needed to be strong for him. She needed to keep him calm. She needed to get help. “Are we clear down here?” Rick asked as he walked towards Alana who was whispering softly to the little boy. She looked up at him with tears forming in the back of her eyes and the only thing he could do was give her a sad look. He couldn’t comfort her right at that moment. He had to make sure everything was clear. “It’s gonna be okay, Sam. You’re gonna be okay. Rick and Daryl got rid of all the monsters. You don’t have to be afraid.” Alana hoarsely whispered to him as he reached up and clutched the sleeve of her shirt. She cradled his shaking body and stroked his long hair back from his forehead which was sweating profusely. “Am I gonna die, Alana?” He asked her in a small voice as Rick, Glenn, and Daryl walked down the stairs slowly, all their eyes were set on Alana watching her cautiously. “No, buddy. You aren’t gonna die. You’re gonna be just fine.” She said as tears fell from her eyes and she reached for her switchblade. She flicked it open and brought Sam’s head up to press a kiss to his forehead, slipping her switchblade just underneath his skull, effectively ending his suffering. She sat on the blood and gore covered floor, holding Sam’s body close to her. Her body was racked with heart-wrenching sobs and she couldn’t stop crying. She felt a cautious hand on her shoulder and she looked up to see Tyreese and Rick standing above her. “Alana, let Tyreese take Sam.” Rick spoke softly as she looked back down at the boy in her arms and pressed one last kiss to his forehead before allowing Tyreese to take him from her.

Once Tyreese had lifted Sam from her lap, Rick gently grabbed ahold of her bicep and pulled her up to her feet where she practically flung herself into his arms, sobbing into the side of his neck, clutching onto him for dear life. He brought his arms around her body, grasping her hips in his hands, holding her ever so closely to himself as he tried to give her the comfort she needed. “Two.” She whispered to him as she pulled away from him and walked towards Hershel and Dr. Subramanian as they made their way into the cell block. Her words left him deeply confused. _Two what?_ What exactly did she mean? Rick didn’t question her because he knew that she would talk to him when she was good and ready. He watched as she made her way up the steps to the second floor and stop right in front of the Walker that had once been Patrick. He made his way up the steps and moved cautiously behind her and Daryl who had joined the blonde to search the upper level cells. “I got it.” Daryl said as they all stopped at a cell where one of the women from Woodbury lay with a gaping hole bitten from her neck. He aimed his crossbow at her forehead and sent a bolt straight into her brain. Alana then turned around and walked out of the cell to check the others. Rick followed closely behind Alana and watched her movements, trying to read what exactly was going through her mind.

Alana stopped in front of a cell that had a blanket draped across the doorway and she looked over her shoulder at Rick who nodded at her and walked to where she stood. He pulled back the blanket and saw the corpse laying on the bed, just waiting to reanimate. He glanced over at Daryl who nodded at him. That was their little symbol for each other saying that they had each other’s backs. Rick then pulled his pocket knife from where it was clipped onto his belt and flicked it open, stepping into the cell, making sure that the corpse didn’t get a chance to come back as a Walker. He slowly walked back out of the cell and looked over at Alana who wore a blank expression on her face and hadn’t moved from her spot just outside the cell. He sauntered over to her and placed a comforting hand on her forearm before she moved away from him to check the last cell on the second floor. The cell door was closed and it seemed like there was nothing in it but neither of them were taking that chance. Both Alana and Rick had their knives out and ready to strike anything that flung itself against the bars of the cell.

When Alana walked up to the cell, she heard it first. The tell-tale growling and snarling of the Walker. She looked into the cell and she didn’t like what she saw. The Walker stood a few feet from the cell door, facing Alana. Its eyes seemed as if they were bleeding, blood ran down its chin and down the sides of its neck from its ears. She knew this Walker. _Charlie, the sleepwalker._ It soon noticed Alana’s presence and began walking towards the cell door, growling and snapping its teeth at her, trying to reach out and grab her. She looked over at Rick who quickly moved next to her and grabbed ahold of _Charlie’s_ shirt, shoving his knife into its forehead, before letting it crumple down to the floor. Daryl then stepped forward and held the keys to the cell in his hand, unlocking it for Rick and Alana. Alana heard Daryl call for Hershel and Dr. Subramanian to come up as she wandered into the cell. Rick crouched down outside the cell, watching Alana as she observed Charlie’s reanimated body, looking for bites or scratches that would point to how he had died and come back as a Walker.

 "No bites. No wounds,” Rick said as both Hershel and Dr. Subramanian made their way into the cell next to Alana who was still staring down at Charlie. “I think he just died." Alana looked over at the doctor at the sound of his voice. The younger man crouched down over Charlie’s body, his eyes running over the length of his body searching for everything that Alana had looked for. Bites. Scratches. Anything that would point to how this man died. "Horribly, too. Pleurisy aspiration." Dr. Subramanian told them as everyone expect the doctor looked over at Hershel for the layman's explanation of the scientific words the doctor had just poured out like they were the most simple words he had ever spoken before. "Choked to death on his own blood,” Hershel explained to the trio who weren’t as educated on the medical jargon that both him and the doctor were so familiar with. “Caused those trails down his face." Hershel gestured down to the blood tear trails on Charlie’s face and neck as Alana turned her attention back to the body that lay on the floor in front of her. "I've seen them before on a walker outside the fences." Rick put his two cents in as Alana glanced over at the former sheriff’s deputy and watched as he shifted uncomfortably by the cell’s doorway. She knew that he didn’t like the feeling that there could be some unknown threat inside their home waiting to strike. Truth be told, she didn’t like it either but that was how things were. "I saw them on Patrick too." Daryl said, causing Alana’s attention to turn to the crossbow wielding hunter. The pain of another lost member of their family shown plainly in her eyes.

"They're from the internal lung pressure building up-- like if you shake a soda can and pop the top,” Dr. Subramanian explained to the four of them. “Only imagine your eyes, ears, nose and throat are the top." Alana shook her head at the image she got of a person’s eyes, ears, nose and throat filling up with blood until their head exploded. A new voice ringing out had Alana looking over at the cell door to see Bob standing there. "It's a sickness from the walkers?" He asked the doctor as he stood with his arms crossed a few inches away from Rick who still was crouched at the cell bars, looking as if he wanted to run away from there. "No, these things happened before they were around. Could be pneumococcal. Most likely an aggressive flu strain." The doctor told them as Rick looked over at Alana with an expression that she didn’t really know how to read, mainly because she didn’t know what the word pneumococcal meant. "Someone locked him in just in time." Hershel commented as both Alana and Daryl shook their heads at the white-haired man. They both knew that Charlie hadn’t been locked in there by someone else. "No, man. Charlie used to sleepwalk. Locked himself in,” Daryl said as he shook his head, not being able to fully believe that someone who had seemed healthy just the other day had just died like he had been sick from a serious illness. “Hell, he was just eating barbecue yesterday. How could somebody die in a day just from a cold?" He looked at the others who stood within the cell and in the entryway of the cell, looking for some sort of explanation to this madness before and around him.

"I had a sick pig, it died quick. Saw a sick boar in the woods." Rick said as Hershel listened to his words intently, meaning that they must be meaningful to the snow-haired man. "Pigs and birds. That's how these things spread in the past,” Hershel commented as he looked over at Rick who met his eyes, clearly wanting to know what the former vet had to say about the whole ordeal. “We need to do something about those hogs." Hershel said this directly to Rick who nodded in agreement before the doctor spoke. "Maybe we got lucky. Maybe these two cases are it." Alana admired the doctor for his optimism but she knew as well as the next person that there rarely was any such thing as getting lucky in the zombie apocalypse. Getting lucky in the world they now lived in could very well mean that they all would be dead the next morning. "Haven't seen anybody lucky in a long time. Bugs like to run through close quarters. Doesn't get any closer than this." Alana agreed with what Bob said. This illness had managed to parade through the little cell block and infect a good handful of people in a matter of hours. How long would it take to infect the entire prison?  "All of us in here, we've all been exposed." Hershel said looking over the group that stood in the cell with him, sadness was in his eyes. His mind went to the worst case scenario. They all were going to die from whatever this illness was. Alana dared to glance over at Rick and she regretted doing so because he was staring at her with such an intensity that she wished she was a turtle so she could hide herself in her shell. They had just professed an interest in each other and they very well could be infected with a deadly sickness. She should have seen this coming.

As Rick and Alana walked out of the cell block into the prison yard, they saw Michonne being walked with her arms across Carl and Maggie’s shoulders. The moment Carl saw his father, he ducked out from under Michonne’s arm and took off towards Rick. "Hey, you might want to stay back. Carl." Rick said as he held his hand up signalling for Carl to stop but he didn’t stop, he ran into his father’s body and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist. Alana walked up next to the pair and smiled at the sight in front of her. "Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't see you come out." Carl said as Rick embraced his son, being sure that his hands didn’t touch any part of his son to try to keep him from getting infected. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm fine. But back away." Rick comforted Carl as the young boy cried into his father’s dirt covered shirt. Rick then lightly pushed Carl away from his body and Alana could see the regret in his eyes. He wanted to hold his son until he knew that he was alright but he couldn’t risk getting Carl infected.  "I had to use one of the guns by the gate. I swear I didn't want to." At Carl’s words, Rick looked over at Michonne just noticing that she was injured. He tipped his head at her, silently asking what had happened. "I was coming back. I fell. They came out and helped me." Michonne’s telling of what happened was simplistic but it got the point across. Carl picked up a gun to save someone, not just to shot because he could. "Are you all right?" Rick asked Michonne as she nodded her head at him and smiled softly at him. "What happened in there?" Maggie asked as Alana looked over to the other side of the courtyard and watched as a blonde haired woman slowly walked by carrying the body of what looked like a child, wrapped up in some off white sheets. She was crying softly to herself, doing exactly what Alana wanted to do but in the same time, she wanted to remain strong.

She turned back towards the small group when Rick began his explanation of what they had seen in the cell block. "Patrick got sick last night. It's some kind of flu. It moves fast. We think he died and attacked the cell block,” He said this looking at Maggie and Michonne trying real hard not to make eye contact with Carl, at least not right at that moment. Look, I know he was your friend and I'm sorry. He was a good kid. We lost a lot of good people,” Rick bent just slightly to be on the same level as Carl trying to convey to the boy exactly how sorry he was that he had lost a friend. Alana wanted to walk over to Carl and hold him in her arms but she knew that they couldn’t risk the infection spreading. “Glenn and your dad are okay, but they were in there. You shouldn't get too close to anyone that might have been exposed at least for a little while. Carl. All of you." Rick reassured them as Carl went back over to let Michonne use his shoulder as a crutch and he and Maggie brought her back into the cell block.

* * *

 

They hadn’t really talked about everything that had happened that day. Maybe they both were just waiting for the next thing to happen. Alana followed silently behind Rick as he walked down into the field where Daryl was digging graves for the people they had lost. Daryl paused his digging for a moment when the pair walked up next to the fresh grave. “Glad you were in there.” Daryl said this mainly to Rick but Alana knew that he was talking to the both of them. He kept his back to them continuing on with his digging as Rick offered his retort. "Wasn't much use without my gun." Alana wanted to smack him in the back of the head for doubting his importance but Daryl did that for her, well not exactly that, he did it in his own _Daryl_ way. "No, you were. All this time you've taking off, you earned it. We wouldn't be here without you." Alana knew that his words were true. Rick was the cornerstone of their little society, that he had worked so hard to keep safe. But apparently Rick didn’t agree with them that he was part of the reason that they were all even alive. "It was all of us." He told Daryl as he picked up a shovel himself and stood at the very edge of the grave.

"No, it was you first. You gonna help us figure this out?" Daryl asked as he pulled the bandana that had been covering his mouth and nose down from his face and turned back towards Rick. "I screwed up too many times. Those calls you gotta make, I start down that road... I almost lost my boy - who he was,” Alana then stepped forward and took Rick’s hand in her grasp, gently squeezing it to try to bring him some comfort, to remind him that he wasn’t alone in this. “Whatever else this place needs, I'm here for it." Rick told Daryl as he tilted his head over a little bit to maintain eye contact with the hunter who turned back around to keep digging. "Like I said, you earned it. But for what it's worth, you see mistakes. I see when the shit hits, you're standing there with a shovel." Alana couldn’t help but smile at Daryl’s words. Rick took the fall for every bad thing that happened to their group but never wanted to take credit for the good things that happened because the way he saw it, with the good things they all were a part of it, they all did their share to get themselves to the point they were at. “Rick! Daryl! Alana!” Maggie called out loudly as she ran towards them slightly to get their attention. She pointed over at an area of the outer fence where Walkers were crowding together pushing the fence, causing it to bend in slightly. “Oh, shit!” Rick said as the three of them took off towards the gate that lead to the outer fence.

As they ran past the weapons used to get rid of Walkers outside the fence, Alana grabbed a crowbar that was hanging up there and quickly thrusted it into the eye socket of the closest Walker. "The noise drew 'em out and now this part's starting to give." Maggie explained as the rest of the group ran towards her, spreading out along the fenceline to thin out the herd of Walkers that crowded around there. Rick moved in alongside Alana and began to thrust the other crowbar he had grabbed from the fence into the heads of the Walkers that moved in front of him. Alana didn’t look at any of the others as they filed into different spots where the Walkers were congregating, she was focused on the task at hand. Getting rid of all the Walkers that were trying to get into their home. The sounds of the Walkers and the sounds of their weapons smashing through their rotting skulls bounced through Alana’s head. The only thing that pulled Alana out of her little bubble was the sound of one of their group falling to the gravel below their feet. She turned her head to see that Maggie had lost her footing and fallen to the ground and Glenn, who had been exposed to the mysterious illness in cell block D, tried to help her up to her feet but Maggie didn’t let him help her up. "Don't. We're supposed to stay away from each other." She said as she pulled herself up to her feet and moved back to the fence to shove her sharpen cane into more Walkers. Alana looked down at the other end of their group and saw Sasha move away from the fence, looking down at the ground as if there was something of interest there which made Alana walk over by her.

"Are you seeing this?” Sasha said as she gestured down to the bodies of partially eaten rats that were spread out across the gravel. “Is someone feeding these things?" Rick moved up behind Alana who was staring down at the rat in confusion. Who would do something like that? Why would anyone in their group try to put all of them in danger like that? "Heads up." Daryl yelled as the fence started to bend even further. "This part of the fence, now!" Sasha called out as the group moved in to try to thin out the pile of Walkers that were weighing down the fence. "Hold on, hold on. Hey, hey, hey." Glenn said as the group moved away from the fence to see that there seemed to be no hope of being able to keep it from collapsing. “It’s gonna give! It’s gonna give!” Rick yelled as he pulled Alana closer to him as if her being close to him would somehow protect her from the Walkers. He pushed Alana slightly behind him as everyone except Daryl and Alana rushed forward to keep the fence from collapsing, using their strength to push back against the dead weight of the Walkers. “Everybody back! Come on back, now.” Daryl yelled as the rest of the group moved back from the fence and Rick gravitated towards Alana who was looking at him for what they should do next. She needed him to tell her what to do. She didn’t feel safe without him there. “Fence keeps bending in like that, those Walkers are coming over it.” Sasha remarked as Rick looked around the area for anything to prevent that from happening and his gaze fell upon the pig pen. Alana knew what he was thinking and it pained her that he had to do it. “Daryl, get the truck. I know what to do.” Rick said firmly but Alana knew that it was weighing on him.

* * *

Rick held onto the trailer that Daryl pulled behind the truck and watched as Maggie and Alana opened the gate for them to pass through. Be safe. Alana mouthed to him as Daryl sped through the gates and out into the meadow around the prison. Daryl drove the truck out a little ways away from the herd of Walkers at the fence. “Ready?” He called out to Rick as he began to slow down the truck. When Daryl came to an almost complete stop, Rick stood up in the trailer, he waited until he knew he had the Walkers’ attentions before he reached into the wooden crate that was in the middle of it. “Let’s go.” Daryl told Rick. He pulled out a squealing piglet and laid it out flat across his knee before making a deep incision across the upper part of the piglet’s back thigh. He then dropped the squealing piglet onto the ground and yelled for Daryl to move. After a little bit, Rick yelled for Daryl to stop and he repeated the process. He grabbed a piglet from the wooden crate, laid it out on his knee, dragged his large knife across its hind leg and dropped it to the ground, watching as Walkers practically lept for the loud screeching creature. “Alright, go. Go.” Rick called out to Daryl who pressed the gas pedal and moved further away from the herd. A moments later, Rick grabbed the last piglet and made another incision on the animal, this cut sprayed blood across his face. He placed the piglet onto the ground and sat himself down on the trailer, looking absolutely defeated. He was done. He looked towards the fence where the Walkers had been threatening to spill over and saw Alana shoving a log up against the bent fence to keep it from bending that far again. They had made it through this day and they may not live til tomorrow, he wasn’t leaving any regrets behind him.

* * *

 

Rick was tearing the pig pen apart when Carl walked over to him. “Not this time.” Rick said to Carl as he threw another pallet onto the pile of wood he was forming. “Think the pigs made them sick?” Carl asked his father as he ripped the pen apart, trying to get rid of every shred of its existence. “Or we made the pigs sick,” He suggested because none of them knew what had caused the sickness, only that it had something to do with the pigs one way or another. “I think we should stay away from Judy a while. Just in case.” He didn’t want to take the chance that they may spread this illness to her. He didn’t want to lose more people. “Okay.” Carl said softly looking down at his hands, clearly not liking the suggestion but knowing that it was for the best. “I don’t like it, but --” Rick began to say as Carl quickly interrupted him. “We have to protect her.” Rick nodded at Carl and looked up past him at Alana who was standing by the barrel filled with rain water, splashing her face with the cool liquid. “So, you and Alana, huh?” Carl teased as he smirked at his father staring at the blonde woman. “You okay with that?” Rick asked cautiously, mentally crossing his fingers hoping that his son didn’t have a problem with their relationship. Carl quickly nodded his head and glanced back at Alana who looked down at the pair and waved at them. “Yeah, she’s cool. She makes you happy. I like you happy.” Carl said truthfully as Rick smiled at his son and waved back at the blonde, gesturing for her to come down by them.

“Hey, Dad.” Carl began to say as Rick moved to place more wood on the pile. “Carol’s been teaching the kids… how to use weapons. How to kill. Their parents don’t know and she doesn’t want you to know. I think you should let her. I know you’re gonna say it’s not up to you. But it can be.” Rick glanced around at his surroundings before dumping gasoline onto his pile, almost in an aggressive way. He didn’t like that Carol was teaching the children how to kill but deep down he understood the need to do so, not that he really wanted to admit it. “Dad?” Carl hesitantly said as Rick grabbed the pack of matches. “Thank you for telling me.” Rick told him as he moved around the pile to place the gas canister a safe distance from the pile not wanting to take the chance that it too may catch on fire. Rick then went back so that he was standing in front of the pile next to Carl and put his hands in his pockets before talking to his son. “I won’t stop her. I won’t say anything.” He reassured his son as he dragged a match quickly across one of the post, igniting it and tossing it onto the pile which slowly caught fire. The two of them stood in silence watching the flames until Rick walked over to the blue toolbox, opening it and calling Carl over. He then stood up and held out Carl’s gun to him which he took very hesitantly. Rick crouched back down by the toolbox and pulled out his own gun belt which he clipped into place on his hips. He pulled his Python out and slipped it into the holster on his belt before slowly standing back up, moving towards Carl gently stroking over the back of his head. Rick moved to stand in front of the burning pile and gazed down at it with his hands resting on his gun belt.

Carl walked away from his father as Alana made her way down by the pig pen. “He needs you.” Carl told Alana as he moved past her and jogged towards the courtyard. Alana didn’t know exactly what Carl meant by that but she did know that it definitely looked like Rick needed someone to talk to. She stopped a few feet away from him and watched as he buttoned his blood covered shirt and tossed it onto the pile of wood. She let him have a few minutes to himself before she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his torso. At first Rick tensed at her touch but quickly relaxed when she pressed a soft kiss to his shoulderblade. Alana brought her hands up to rest over his beating heart and smiled against the skin of his shoulder when his hands came to grip hers over his heart. “Tell me what you are thinking.” She whispered into his skin as he leaned his head back so that it was resting atop hers. “We lost so much today. I can’t lose Carl or Judith. I can’t lose you.” Rick said as he turned around to face her and brought his hands up to cradle her face. He gazed down into her eyes, trying to show the sincerity of his words and she just smiled up at him. “I’m not going anywhere.” She softly said to him as she stood on her tip-toes and pressed a peck to his lips. He then let his hands fall from her face and encaged her in his arms enveloping her mouth with his, suavely massaging her lips, coaxing her to open up for him, both physically and mentally. He wanted her to trust him with her whole being. To trust that he would protect her no matter what. _He wanted her to let herself love him like he loved her._

* * *

 

Alana didn’t know if she could allow herself to love Rick. She wanted to, she really did but she didn’t know if she could let herself be that vulnerable again. She knew that he would keep her safe, even if that meant giving up his own life for her survival but she didn’t want him to do that. She laid awake in the middle of the night, after Rick had woken her up from her nightmare by tracing her scars, with Rick’s body as a cushion and pillow. They had changed positions and Alana was now laying in between Rick’s legs with her torso pressed up against his, her pelvis aligned with his. She gazed at Rick’s sleeping form and let her fingers drift across his scruff covered cheek. Could she love this man? Could she let herself be that vulnerable and not get hurt? She really hoped she could.

**  
  
  
  
  
  
**

 


	5. Chapter | Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any character that you recognize, only Alana! I'm just having some fun with Rick and playing with the TV show!

**The Road**

_Alana didn’t know if she could allow herself to love Rick. She wanted to, she really did but she didn’t know if she could let herself be that vulnerable again. She knew that he would keep her safe, even if that meant giving up his own life for her survival but she didn’t want him to do that. She laid awake in the middle of the night, after Rick had woken her up from her nightmare by tracing her scars, with Rick’s body as a cushion and pillow. They had changed positions and Alana was now laying in between Rick’s legs with her torso pressed up against his, her pelvis aligned with his. She gazed at Rick’s sleeping form and let her fingers drift across his scruff covered cheek. Could she love this man? Could she let herself be that vulnerable and not get hurt? She really hoped she could._

**Chapter | Three**

“You know some people actually like to sleep.” Alana commented sleepily as she peeked at the man who was the cause of her waking up through lidded eyes. She scrunched her face at the light that floated into their cell and quickly pressed her face against his chest, trying her best to block the annoyingly bright sunlight. She was greeted by a low throaty chuckle that was heavily laced with sleep, just like her own voice was as his hand danced up and down her spine with feather-like touches of his fingertips, egging her on, knowing full well that she liked her sleep. "Stop touching me." Alana warned Rick as he just continued on with his touching like she hadn’t just used her I will gut you like one of Daryl’s rabbits voice. “What you gonna do, Ballerina? Threaten my testicles again?” He asked her in a thick voice that made Alana giggle. His hand drifted down further to the base of her spine, creeping towards the edge of the panties that she had put back on at some point the previous night. Not that either of them really remembered when they had put on their undergarments, all they remembered was the closeness they had with each other. “I only threaten your testicles when you are being a stupid male.” She said matter of factly as he brought his other hand up to cradle her face, brushing her golden tendrils out of her eyes to gaze into their oasis blue pools. She smiled up at him, moving up his body so that her face was hovering directly over his. She brushed her nose against his and tugged her bottom lip in between her teeth as she watched his pupils dilate with desire. There was a mischievous smirk formed on her lips as she moved in even closer to Rick and nipped at his bottom lip gently, pulling lightly at it when she managed to snag it between her teeth. She chuckled at the low moan that echoed through Rick’s throat and allowed her lips to fully envelop his in a kiss that held more emotion than she thought she had in her. His large  hand buried itself in the hair at the back of her head, holding her ungodly close to himself, and they kissed for what seemed like an eternity.

But their drunken euphoria didn’t last. It was interrupted by none other than Mr. Dixon making his way into their cell. “What is going on?” Rick asked as Alana did her best to keep herself covered so Daryl didn’t see anything he didn’t need to. All Daryl did was shake his head at Rick with a lost look on his face. This made both Rick and Alana maneuver themselves out from under their sheets and briskly pull on some clothes. Alana’s mind went to the worst case scenario and she tried to prepare herself for whatever Daryl was taking them to see. No amount  of preparation could have readied her for what they walked into.

It was the smell that really got to her. The fact that she now knew what burnt human flesh smelled like and couldn’t ever erase that from her memory, made her sick. Her gaze drifted between the charred remains of Karen and David to the distraught form of Tyreese who was staring down at the corpses in utter disbelief. Alana could only imagine what was going through his mind in that moment. She glanced over at Rick who had an unreadable expression on his face and she really wondered how much of this he could take. She knew why Tyreese had wanted Rick to be there. He wanted Rick to solve the crime, to find the killer but how exactly could he do that with little to no resources without giving the killer the advantage against him. "You found them like this?" Rick asked Tyreese hesitantly as the other man turned towards the former sheriff’s deputy. "I came to see Karen…” Tyreese began. There was a distance in his voice as if he wasn’t all there, not that Alana or really any of them blamed him. He had just found the woman he loved and another member of their group burnt beyond recognition. “And I saw the blood on the floor. Then I smelled them,” Alana raised her hand up to her mouth, trying to keep her cries to herself. She couldn’t imagine the pain he was in right then and she wanted to be able to take that pain from him. “Somebody dragged them out here and set them on fire,” His voice grew louder with each word to the point that he was yelling and his voice cracked with heavy emotion. “They killed them and set them on fire!" Tyreese then took a few steps towards Rick that had both Daryl and Alana ready to pounce on the bigger man if he made the wrong move. "You're a cop,” Tyreese said forcefully as Rick bowed his head, obviously not liking the pressuring that was being put on him. Alana was watching Rick more than she was watching Tyreese. First of all, she knew that Daryl could handle Tyreese if things came to that point and second of all, she knew that Rick didn’t want to be responsible for something that could very well end with a good man like Tyreese doing something that he would later regret. They all knew that he wasn’t a killer. “You find out who did this and you bring 'em to me. You understand? You bring 'em to me." Tyreese took a small step closer to Rick practically drowning him in his shadow and Daryl could tell that this wasn’t helping anything so he moved to pull Tyreese back a few steps from Rick but Tyreese shook Daryl’s hand from his arm and moved even closer to Rick. "I need to say it again?" Alana wasn’t liking the way Tyreese was treating Rick at all but she knew that she couldn’t do anything if she didn’t want to set him off and potentially cause more problems for Rick.

"No. No. I know what you're feeling,” Rick responded softly so he didn’t somehow set Tyreese off. Lori. Alana thought to herself. That’s who he is talking about. Alana knew that Lori still had some sort of hold on Rick. More of a mental hold on him than anything. He still felt that pain one felt when they felt they had failed someone. Of course his failing had resulted in her death but his failing had also resulted in Judith being alive. “I've been there. You saw me there. It's dangerous." Rick was trying to reason with Tyreese, at least get him level headed but he wasn’t having any of it. "Karen didn't deserve this." Tyreese said loudly as Rick shook his head, agreeing with the other man. "David didn't deserve it. Nobody does." What was really making Alana mad was that Tyreese was acting like this horrible thing had happened because of Rick, because he wasn’t being a good leader. Alana made to try to get in between the two men but Daryl beat her to it, hooking a hand around Tyreese’s upper arm only for the other man to lash out and shove him roughly against the bars separating the two areas. "Man, I ain't going nowhere till I find out who did this!" Tyreese yelled as he fisted Daryl’s vest in his hands and was practically screaming in the hunter’s face. Rick, Carol and Alana moved forward to give Daryl some back up but he stopped them with a raised hand as he tried to reason with Tyreese, which Alana didn’t really think would work at all but she supported whatever route they wanted to go about this. "We're on the same side, man." Daryl practically growled at Tyreese, showing Alana that he too was done with the man’s hostility towards the people trying to help him. "Hey, look, I know what you're going through,” Rick said this cautiously as he edged over towards the pair, wanting to get Daryl away from Tyreese before the man did something that he’d really regret doing. “We've all lost someone. We know what you're going through right now, but you've got to calm down." Alana opened her mouth to warn Rick against even getting near the enraged man but the moment she went to speak, Rick placed his hand on Tyreese’s shoulder and the other man did exactly what Alana had expected to happen. He braced his forearm against Rick’s chest and shoved him back, yelling You need to step the hell back! Rick only made things worse when he told Tyreese that Karen wouldn’t want him to act this way.

Alana had seen the punch coming before it was even delivered but she wasn’t able to react quick enough to yell out to Rick to watch out. The first punch caused Rick to fall onto one knee with his hand bracing himself from falling fully to the ground. “Stop! Stop!” Carol yelled moving towards the pair but Daryl quickly stopped the woman from doing so. That left Alana open. She didn’t have a level-headed hunter to be a blockade keeping her from advancing on Tyreese who likely wouldn’t care who he had to hit if it got him closer to Karen and David’s killer. Alana ran forward trying to shove Tyreese away from her Sheriff but she quickly wished she hadn’t, especially when Tyreese’s fist met her right eye causing her to plummet to the ground, smashing her head with the concrete that had been below her feet not a second before. The spot where his fist had landed a solid hit pulsed and throbbed in pain. Alana watched as Daryl grabbed Tyreese from behind and pulled him away from Rick who slowly staggered up to his feet. Alana had expected him to come see if she was alright but she was all but forgotten to Rick in that moment. She saw it all play out in front of her and all she could think about was how Joe handled wrongdoings against his people, beat them to death. Rick swung his fist into Tyreese’s face with all his strength, causing the man to fall from Daryl’s grasp onto all fours which Rick took as an opportunity to kick the living crap out of him. With a swift kick to his lung, Tyreese fell onto his back and Rick placed his feet on either side of his body, repeatedly smashing his hand into the side of Tyreese’s face until Daryl stepped in and pulled him away from the wheezing man curled up on the concrete.

Alana had never seen Rick so crazed before. "Let go of me!" He kept screaming in agony as he thrashed and threw his weight around while locked in between Daryl’s arms. He looked like a caged animal. A hand extended out to her and Alana looked up to see Carol standing above her with her hand outstretched, ready to pull her up to her feet. Alana took her hand and got up to her feet, wobbling a little bit from the pain echoing through her head from the spot where Tyreese had punched her and from the spot where her head had connected with the concrete. “Rick,” She called out in a small voice but the man didn’t respond, he just kept fighting against Daryl. “Rick!” She yelled with all her strength gaining the man in question’s attention. He stilled all his movements and looked over at her. She then stumbled forward only for Carol to catch her with a firm hand wrapping around her bicep. This made Rick snap out of it. It registered in his stupid male animal brain that she had been hurt and he didn’t even argue when Carol suggested that the two of them went to Hershel so he could take a look at them. _Stupid brutish men. Stupid testosterone._ Alana thought to herself as Rick moved over by her, cradling her head in his hands, inspecting her wounds. She shoved his hands away from her and turned away to walk towards the cell block to go to Hershel. She wasn’t happy with Rick in that moment. She couldn’t look at him in that moment because all she saw was the face of The Claimers who had always been so angry when they beat her with their fists. The pain that they had inflicted on her resonated through her body and she tried her best to stop it but the pain enveloped her and everything just went black.

* * *

 

"This is gonna be sprained for at least a week. Good news, none of these cuts need stitches,” Hershel informed Rick as he cleaned the lacerations on Rick’s left hand with cotton balls. The former sheriff’s deputy glanced over at Alana who was sat on the edge of the bottom bunk in Hershel’s cell staring at the blank, gray wall with an emotionless expression on her face. A bruise around her eye was already forming, a bluish-purple hue surrounding her eye socket like a raccoon’s bandit eyes. Tyreese had socked her pretty hard but the real damage was just on the surface. He knew that she was pissed at the world and at him. She was pissed at him for making Hershel check her over after she had managed to make herself pass out hyperventilating as she walked away from him. She was pissed at the world for reasons he didn’t fully know why. She was a complex human being and he didn’t know how to get through her head. At least not right at that moment. He’d have to wait until she wasn’t mad at him anymore. “I wouldn't plan on much typing the next few days,” Hershel joked as Rick turned his attention back to the floor of the cell. Though Rick didn’t react to his words, Hershel did get a little chuckle out of Alana. “You okay?" Hershel asked as Rick glanced up at the former vet and winced when the older man dabbed at his knuckles one last time before he picked up the roll of gauze in his hands. “It hurts.” Rick mumbled as Alana scoffed loudly to herself which drew both of the men’s attentions in her direction. "I wasn't talking about the hand,” Hershel remarked as he began to wrap the gauze around Rick’s knuckles. “We just went through something terrible. Everything we've been working so hard to keep out, it found its way in."

At this point, Alana’s attention turned towards the two men and she listened intently to their conversation, watching their body language, well, mostly Rick’s body language, when they spoke. She watched as Rick shook his head at Hershel’s words and glanced back at his gun belt as if it were the cause of violent outburst against Tyreese. "No. It's always there." He said as he looked over at Alana who held his gaze with such intensity that he had to focus his attention elsewhere. She was trying to tell him that this didn’t make him a bad person, it just said that he was human, but he didn’t really receive that message. "Council meeting this afternoon,” Hershel randomly stated which had both Rick and Alana raising an eyebrow at the white-haired man, silently questioning why he was informing either of them of this when neither of them were a part of the Council. “Thought you should know. We just lost 12 of our own. Two more were killed in cold blood. We could be facing an outbreak." Hershel continued as Rick just shook his head and looked off into nothingness. "I think I've done enough damage for one day." He replied as Alana rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair to keep herself from clenching her hands into fists. "I've fallen off the wagon before." Hershel said so nonchalantly as if that was exactly what had happened with Rick. The way Alana saw it, both Tyreese and Rick had been hyped up on adrenaline and high emotions. She didn’t totally understand why Hershel was comparing it to him falling back into alcoholism. "That's what this is?" Rick asked, just as confused as Alana was to Hershel’s old man analogy. "Pretty close,” was all Hershel said, no further explanation which made Alana laugh at tiny bit. “When it happened, I didn't stand around feeling bad about it. I got back up. I had responsibilities. People to keep safe." As Hershel said people to keep safe, Alana saw him flick his eyes over to her for a moment and she knew what he was trying to do, and it wasn’t going to happen. Alana knew that Rick wasn’t always going to be around so she needed to figure out a way to deal with her demons without him, and that was what she was going to do.

Hershel finished with Rick’s bandages and the bearded man looked over at Alana expectantly as if he thought she was obliged to follow him out but she just sat there on the bottom bunk and shook her head at him. She needed a moment alone with Hershel. She needed to talk to someone other than Rick. She could see Rick slowly moving out of the cell, glancing back at her over his shoulder and she knew that he didn’t understand her distance at all. Hershel waited until Rick was out of earshot before he carried the chair he had been sitting on over and placed it in front of Alana. He sat down on the seat, looking at her curiously and he waited for her to speak first. He didn’t push her. Just like Rick. She thought to herself sadly as tears formed in her eyes. “I saw them,” She whispered to Hershel who leaned in closer so that he could hear her clearly. “The men who gave me the scars. I saw them in him today.” Hershel let her get her emotions out and allowed her to silently cry to herself. He knew exactly what she meant. She had mentioned them to him before but had never gone into detail about what had happened. Hell, he had seen her scars so he could definitely imagine what had happened to her. “Saw them in who, Alana?” Hershel asked her cautiously as she looked over at him from behind her tears and she didn’t even have to clarify it for him, he knew. In Rick’s adrenaline hopped up rage, she had seen Joe and that terrified her. “I looked in his eyes and I saw them. How could I see them in him, Hershel? He’d never hurt me so why did I see them in there?” She pleaded with him, just wanting an answer to keep herself sane but he didn’t have one. She had to figure that out herself. She had to figure out how to distinguish between the good and the bad. Alana got up from the bunk bed and went to leave the cell but Hershel’s voice stopped her. “Come to the council meeting, Alana.” That was all he said to her as she looked back at him out of the corner of her eye. “Okay.” She replied softly as she left the cell. She was doing this for herself. She wasn’t going to depend on Rick. She was going to be strong.

* * *

 

Alana felt out of place standing amongst the Council members. She was standing behind Daryl, leaning against a bookshelf as she listened to Hershel begin to meeting. "It's spread. Everyone who survived the attack in cell block D. Sasha, Caleb, and now others." Daryl hung his head low and uttered, Oh, Jesus, as Alana shifted uncomfortably. All she could think about was how she didn’t belong there. She wasn’t an important member of the group; not like Daryl, Carol, Glenn, Michonne or Hershel were. Her importance stopped at being the object of Rick’s affection. She was there to keep him sane. That was her importance or at least that was what she felt her importance was. "So what do we do?" Carol asked addressing the entire group but mainly Hershel. "First things first. Cell block A is isolation. We keep the sick people there like we tried with Karen and David." Hershel said as Alana scoffed at the mention of Karen and David. A whole lot of good isolation did for them. They were dead and others were infected. "What the hell we gonna do about that?" Daryl asked as he glanced back at Alana who just shook her head at him. He was silently asking her if she thought Rick was up to doing what people were gonna be expecting him to do. Find Karen and David’s killer. Alana didn’t like the idea of putting that kind of pressure on Rick especially after what had happened in D. She didn’t know how much he could handle before he went off the wagon like she had been told he did when Lori had died. "Ask Rick to look into it. Try to make a timeline-- who's where when,” Carol replied as Alana fixed her gaze on the other woman and she wondered exactly how much she thought Rick could take before he would crack.

“Yes, have Rick look for their killer and what happens if he doesn’t find them? We all know that Rick will put that blame on himself. He will tell himself that their killer being loose is his fault just like he is probably doing about D. You want to put that burden on him, you’re gonna have to explore more options before I agree to letting him potentially eating himself alive with guilt if he were to fail.” Alana voiced as all of them looked over at her but said absolutely nothing because they knew she was right. He had been their leader for so long that even after he had stepped down from the leadership position he still took the blame for everything that went wrong in their group. “But what are we gonna do to stop this?" Carol quickly brushed past Alana’s comment and she could only roll her eyes. She’d be sure to bring it up later because she wasn’t letting Rick take that burden without putting up a fight first. "There is no stopping it. You get it, you have to go through it." Hershel told them seriously as everything seemed to fall around them. As far as they knew, there was no way to prevent the sickness. If that didn’t make things seem absolutely hopeless, Alana didn’t know what did. "But it just kills you?" Michonne caught the words that Hershel had used, you have to go throught it, like there was a way to fight it. "The illness doesn't. The symptoms do. We need antibiotics." All Alana knew was that she was gonna do whatever she had to to get those antibiotics, she’d make the trek herself if she had to. "We've been through every pharmacy nearby. And then some." Leave it to Daryl to point out that there wasn’t anything to find nearby for those sick people which meant there would be a hell of a bigger risk of death or being separated from a group if they were to try to go for those antibiotics. "That veterinary college at West Peachtree Tech, that's one place people may not have thought to raid for medication. The drugs for animals there are the same we need." Alana looked over at the white-haired man in curiousity wondering exactly how thoroughly this man had thought all this through because he had an answer to all of their questions. "That's 50 miles. Too big a risk before. Ain't now. I'm gonna take a group out. Best not waste any more time." Daryl stated as Michonne quickly volunteered to go with him on that run and Alana was right after her. She was going to help. It was what Rick would do if she was one of those sick and close to death. She’d do it if he was in there: him, Carl or Judith. Though she hadn’t flat out said that she was going with them because she didn’t want Hershel to pull the doctor card and saw that after her little episode that morning she needed to stay back so he could monitor her.

"You haven't been exposed. Daryl has. You get in a car with him..." Hershel warned Michonne, making sure she knew the risk she was putting herself in just getting into the car with him but she was already putting herself at risk going outside those fences, there wasn’t much difference. "He's already given me fleas." She joked as Alana chuckled at her words, because she wouldn’t be surprised if Daryl had given her fleas, he had an aversion to showers and being clean. "I can lead the way. I know where everything's kept." Hershel said as he stood up from his chair and Alana raised an eyebrow at him. He was crazy if he thought going on this run would a good decision with his gimp leg and all. “Hops, I don’t think that’d be a good idea.” Alana commented as she flicked her head down at his peg leg. "When we're out there, it's always the same. Sooner or later we run." Daryl was slightly nicer about his pointing out that Hershel would likely end up Walker bait if he came with them.

If worst things came to worst, they’d end up having to hightail it out of there and Hershel wouldn’t be able to do that with his fake leg. He’d be a liability and Alana knew he didn’t want to end up being the reason someone else got hurt or bit. "I can draw you a map,” He told them as he went to sit back down.  “There are other precautions I feel we should take." Precautions? Precautions with what? Alana asked herself silently as Carol voiced Alana’s question, sort of. Carol knew what it was that Hershel was talking about. Those who hadn’t been exposed to whatever disease had attacked cell block D. "There's no telling how long it'll be before Daryl and his group return. Wouldn't it make sense for us to separate the most vulnerable? We can use the administration building. Separate office, separate room." Alana agreed with Hershel. It would make sense to separate those who hadn’t been exposed to the illness from those who had to ensure that at least some of them could survive if worst things came to worse. “Who is the most vulnerable?” Glenn asked as Hershel looked over at the younger man. Alana knew who those people were; the young and the older, essentially those with the weakest immune systems. But who would protect them if things got out of hand? They couldn’t account for everything. There were too many ways for things to go wrong.

* * *

 

Alana stood beside Rick and watched as Carol tried to get water out of the pump but only got a stream of grimey looking water that wasn’t good for anyone. It was insanely frustrating to watch, knowing that there was water out there but the line was clogged up. Alana had half the mind to just run out there and unclog it herself but there were too many Walkers in that area. That mission would have to be an organized effort to be able to ensure everyone’s safety. "Give me another go at it." Rick said as he moved forward to roll the wheel powering the pump but Carol shook her head at him. "The whole line's mudded up. The end is dragging the bottom again. We'll have to go out there and clear it. Set the bird, go out through the tombs, swing around through the forest route." The older woman was adamant on getting this done right then and there but Rick had had enough excitement for one day and he knew that Alana felt the same way because when he glanced back at her to get her silent input on the matter, she ever so subtly shook her head at him, just so that he could see. "We got enough for now. That's tomorrow's problem." Rick replied as Alana agreed with him. They had enough to worry about with moving the vulnerable to the quarantine zone and making sure that the group that was making the trek to Peachtree Tech had all the supplies they needed, they didn’t need to add this to their long list of shit to do. "Rick, five more people have come down with it since Sasha went in. There's not a lot of us left. What if you get sick? What if I do? What if Alana does?” Alana hadn’t expected to be brought up into the conversation, she was used to being a part of the background. She raised an eyebrow at the older woman and wondered exactly she was trying to accomplish. To Alana it seemed like she wanted to throw every problem they had on Rick. "What if we get in trouble out there and don't come back? Let's get this up to the people who need it. Let's get what we have to get done first." Rick tried to keep Carol focused on the task at hand, getting the water they could up to the sick. He held out one of the buckets of water out to Alana and gently squeezed her shoulder as he passed her.

"Is Carl pretty pissed about going into quarantine?" Carol asked the bearded man as the trio moved towards the yard. "Of course. But it's better to be safe." Rick quickly responded as Alana smiled, knowing full well that Carl was just as stubborn as his father was. Alana glanced over to her left and stopped her movements to watch Tyreese who had been digging since that morning. She felt Rick stop next to her and look over at the man who he had beaten the living shit out of less than probably five hours earlier. "Always better to be safe. You should talk to him." Carol suggested as Rick looked over at Alana silently asking if she would be okay with facing the man after what he had done to her, not that she blamed him at all for his actions, he hadn’t been in control of his emotions and Alana knew what grief did to a person. "We should all pay our respects." Rick said as Carol grabbed the water bucket from Alana’s hand and told them that she would take the buckets up to the people who needed them, that she would meet them over there. Alana and Rick both knew that Carol was trying to get them to talk through this with Tyreese, to talk about the entire thing; how he had hit Alana, how he had thrown blame in Rick’s direction and how Rick had gone postal on Tyreese. They needed to get all of that out in the open, Alana knew that, didn’t mean that she had to like it.

Rick turned towards Alana and looked her in the eyes, surveying over her face, taking in her expression which told him absolutely nothing about what was going through her mind, stopping at the nasty black eye that had formed around her eye. He stepped towards her and brushed his thumb lightly across the purple hue that shaded her face. “I’m sorry I let this happen to you.” He whispered to her as he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on the blumish. “You would have done the same thing if I had been in your position. Plus I think I rock the one-eyed raccoon look.” She joked to him as he chuckled and moved to walk over by Tyreese. Alana walked briskly to catch up with Rick who reached for her hand and she didn’t stop him from intertwining their fingers. She knew that he was doing this more for her own benefit than his own and she appreciated the gesture. They stopped a few feet away from where Tyreese was patting down the freshly dug graves and waiting for the other man to notice their presence before either of them spoke. Alana noticed the bracelet that Tyreese was holding in his hand and she wanted to bury her face in Rick’s shoulder to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry about what happened. What I did to you. Everything." Rick said solemnly as Tyreese looked over at the pair and turned the bracelet over in his hands. "It's on both of us,” He told him as Alana gripped Rick’s hand. “You got to find who did this." His words were a plea to Rick, asking Rick to find him some sort of closure and Rick knew the closure he was looking for but he also knew that he couldn’t give it to him. He had to find it on his own. "I didn't know David much. Did you?" Rick asked Tyreese as Alana felt him bring their joined hands to rest on the handle of his python, the place where his hand naturally drifted to. Tyreese nodded his head at Rick’s question and then Rick dared to ask if either Karen or David had anyone who had any problems with them.

Tyreese took a dangerous step towards the pair and Alana instinctively took a step away from the man, pulling Rick with her by their conjoined hands. "No. No way. I was with her all the time, every day. She got along with everybody. Same with David." Tyreese told them as Rick glanced over at Alana, making sure that she wasn’t going to end up passing out again from a panic attack. "They were the only two who were sick. The person who did it might be trying to stop this thing from spreading." Rick made the observation and Alana saw the soundness of that assumption. It made sense. Get rid of the only two sources of the illness they had at that point in time and possibly prevent the spread. "They didn't. Now Sasha has it." Tyreese just couldn’t catch a break. He found his girlfriend’s charred corpse that morning after she had come down with the same illness his sister now had. "Look, whoever it was who did this, they're not going anywhere. We'll find them." Rick was trying to keep the other man calm but it wasn’t working. He let go of Alana’s hand and moved ever so slightly in front of her to act as a barrier between the two of them if things took a turn for the violent. "Today? Right now? Because I'm not feeling the urgency. All I see you doing is pumping water. In fact, what I'm picking up is murder is okay in this place now." Tyreese was pointing his finger right at Rick, practically blaming him for their deaths and Alana wasn’t going to let him do that at all. She didn’t care what happened, she wasn’t letting him fill Rick’s head with this bullshit. Alana moved out from behind Rick and shoved Tyreese as hard as she could in his chest, causing him to stumble back a little bit. “We have people who are sick, who need medicine, people who are depending on us to keep them safe and you want to turn your back to them to look for a killer who very well knows that we are looking for them! News flash, Hammer-Time, their death’s were not Rick’s fault! He didn’t kill them! Everyone is scared shitless right now and everyone is looking to him for guidance. He is just one fucking man! Back off or I will make you back off.” Alana screamed at the man in front of her who just walked off, leaving her in a state of anger that she wanted to get rid of. She needed to hit something, anything. She bent down and picked up the shovel that was laying at her feet, throwing it as far as she could towards the fence. She felt Rick move up behind her as she tried to keep her from breaking down entirely, letting her emotions take over her. “C’mon, let’s go check on Carl and his packing.” Rick softly said to her as she turned with him and allowed him to lead her up to the cell block.

* * *

 

Carl was acting like a normal pissed off teenager as he packed his things like his father had asked him to. Both Alana and Rick were leaning against the doorway of the cell, watching the teen as he shoved each object into his backpack. One particular item caught Alana's attention: a photo of Rick, Carl, and Lori, a family photo. They looked so happy then, at peace and all that had been ripped away in an instant. Rick's voice cut through the awkward silence that lingered over them and Alana was happy that he had spoken and she didn't have to. "It's for your own good." He told his son as Carl angrily zipped up his backpack and Alana almost wanted to laugh at the teen angst he was radiating. "I'm fine," Carl gritted through his teeth, showing Rick and Alana that he was the opposite of fine with the whole  situation. The teenager glanced up at his father and Alana who was raising her eyebrow at him. "I don't want to be locked away with a bunch of kids." He confided in the woman, not really daring to look his father because they'd already had a conversation similar to this. He hated being grouped up with the children, because he saw himself as an adult, as being more capable of protecting himself than those children were. "I need you in there keeping an eye on Judith and everybody else. Making sure they're safe," Rick explained to him as he made himself on the same level as his son, giving him a job, a level of authority over the other children. "If anyone gets sick, you let Alana or I know."

Rick's words made Alana look down at her feet that were sobered by the shitkickers that Michonne had given her. She hadn't told Rick about her plan to go with Daryl's group on the run. She was trying to put it off as long as she could to give Rick little time to talk her out of it. "What if they've already turned when. I find them?" Carl asked Rick as he picked up his pistol and checked the clip in it to make sure it was full. "You don't fire unless you absolutely need to." Rick told him as he tried to get his point across to the boy. He didn't get to just shoot whoever. Just because the person got sick didn't mean they were going to die. "But you know I might need to, right?" Carl asked his father as Rick reluctantly nodded his head and Alana watched as the teenager walked away from them.

Once Carl was out of her field of view, Alana went to look back at Rick only to find him not standing across from her. She turned towards Carl’s cell and found Rick sitting on the bottom bunk with his hands cradling his head. She knew that everything that had happened was weighing on Rick and she could only imagine what was going through his head. She knew that he was beating himself up because of every person who had died or gotten sick. She moved slowly into the cell and knelt down in front of him, pulling his hands away from his face, grasping them in her own hands which looked really dwarfed when compared to his. “What’s going on in that head of yours, Sheriff?” She whispered quietly as Rick looked at her with horrible pain etched across his face. He looked so broken in front of her, gripping her hands like she was his lifeline. “What if I can’t save them? What if they all die because I wasn’t strong enough?” He asked her as she pulled her hands away from his grasp and brought her hands up to cradle his scuff covered cheeks. “These people’s deaths in D were not your fault. You aren’t the leader anymore, you are a member of this group just like anyone else. Don’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t have known was coming.” Alana made sure that Rick was looking right at her as she spoke to him. She moved in between his bent legs, resting her elbows on his thighs, bringing his forehead down to rest on hers. She knew that she had to tell Rick about going on the run with Daryl’s group but she didn’t want to make him anymore upset.

She took a deep breath and decided to tell him before she managed to talk herself out of it. “I’m going on the medicine run with Daryl.” She told him bluntly as he clenched his eyes closed. _Why?_ was all that he got out before he pulled her hands away from his face, holding her at a distance from him. His face screamed why are you doing this to me? “Because of Sam. Because it is what you would do if I were sick or if Carl or Judith were sick. I am doing this because I need to prove to myself that I can do this on my own, without depending on you to keep me safe,” She explained to him as he shook his head at her, obviously not liking the idea of her going outside the fences. “This morning when you and Tyreese were fighting, all I could see was Joe and his group settling disagreements. They’d beat the person to death that crossed them and all I could see when I looked at you two was that. I looked in your eyes and I saw Joe. I know that you could never hurt me, but the look in your eyes made me so afraid. I don’t want to ever feel afraid around you, because I know that you would never do what they did to me. I need to get away from this place for even just a little bit to clear my head, to prove to myself that I am not crazy.” The look on Rick’s face once she told him how she had seen Joe in his crazed eyes when he kept yelling let go of me at Daryl that morning dropped drastically. He looked as if someone had sucker punched him in the gut and that wasn’t what she wanted to accomplish by telling him that. Alana took it upon herself to crawl up into Rick’s lap with her legs on either side of his hips, wrapping her arms around his neck as she rested her forehead against his. Rick’s hands wandered to her hips, holding her close to his body. “Do not blame what I saw on you. It’s my head that did it. You couldn’t have known a fight would have broken out and you couldn’t have known that it would make me see them. I do not blame you, Sheriff.” She affectionately whispered to him as she pressed kisses along his face: his temples, forehead, cheekbones, jawline, neck, and lastly his lips. He got caught up in the kisses that Alana was peppering him with and brought his hands up around her back, burying his hands in her wavy blonde hair. “I don’t want you to worry about me on that run. Daryl won’t let anything bad happen to me, plus Michonne likes me too much to let any Walkers eat me.” She joked with her lips millimeters from his. Rick chuckled breathily at her joke and moved his head away from her to bury his face in her hair, to hold her close one last time before she left.

* * *

 

Alana made her way down towards where Daryl and Michonne stood by the hood of the Dodge Camaro parked just inside the gates, ready to be taken out into the big bad world beyond them. She tossed her supplies into the backseat of the Camaro, adjusting the belt that Rick had given her that was being weighed down by the machete that Rick had gifted her with. She moved up towards the pair that congregated by the open hood and leaned with her butt resting against the car between Michonne and Daryl. "Son of a bitch is about a quart low." Daryl remarked as he looked up at Alana and Michonne who asked him if they still kept the gas in tower three. Michonne went to go and get said gas but was interrupted by Daryl’s low timbre. "Hey. I'm glad you're here." He said to her which made both her and Alana raise their eyebrows at the dirt covered hunter. "Where else would I be?" Michonne asked the man as Alana looked to Daryl to see exactly what his answer was. Running off was his response and that didn’t sit well with Michonne. "You know I'm not running off." Michonne told him as he nodded his head at her and they both dropped the subject. Only these two could do that. Alana thought to herself. Only these two could bring up a subject that would make any other person extremely angry and just drop it like it was absolutely nothing. "So it's just gonna be me and you like the old days?" Michonne asked Daryl as Alana took her opportunity to speak up and offer her two cents. “And me. I’m coming along.” Michonne and Daryl both gave her looks that basically asked if Rick had approved of it which made Alana a little mad. “Ok, just because I am in a relationship with the man doesn’t mean I need to make sure my every move is okayed by him which I did get mind you. So let’s drop the subject.” Both of them nodded their heads at him and moved back to prepping the vehicle. “And Bob. Still, feels like we could use another person." Daryl commented as both Michonne and Alana nodded their heads in agreement with him. "Who else isn't sick?" Michonne asked him as Alana knew who he’d suggest first. Rick. But she also knew that Daryl thought similarly to her when it came to the man. "We don't ask Rick. He wants to stay here Carl and Little Ass-Kicker. Keep them safe. Plus there's plenty of stuff he could do here." She wanted to smile so widely at Daryl’s nickname for Judith and the mere fact that he didn’t expect Rick to be superman and save the day, not like the rest of them seemed to. "So who else we got?" Michonne asked as Daryl looked over at Alana and she gave him the most exaggerated look she could give him because she knew who he was thinking of. Tyreese. Because he would be fit for a run. He wasn’t in the right state of mind to go on a run. But whatever Daryl wanted to do.

* * *

 

Alana followed behind Daryl as he made his way to the cell block A where all the sick were being held and she wanted to comment on how insane this was but she also knew that he wouldn’t listen to her. Alana glanced at his leather vest covered back and glared silently at the stubborn man. They shouldn’t have even been considering letting Tyreese on this run. Alana knew that he would be reckless, his mind wasn’t thinking straight. When they reached cell block A, they were greeted by Tyreese standing guard outside, peering into the area. "Oh, there you are. Took me damn near forever to find you. Whatcha doing?" Daryl asked as Tyreese turned towards the pair, his eyes drifting over to Alana who narrowed her eyes at him, still ticked about him insinuating that Rick was okay with the cold blooded murders of Karen and David. "Somebody needs to stand watch." He replied as Alana scoffed at him. Like anyone would try to kill all those people in there putting themselves at risk of getting the illness. "Man, I want to find them, too. Put a bolt in them for what they did,” Daryl told Tyreese and Alana believed every word that he spoke. Daryl wasn’t a person to say things that he didn’t mean. He went through with his promises. Faint coughing coming from inside the cell block caught all of their attentions momentarily before Daryl continued to speak. “These people are cut off. Ain't no way anyone's getting in and out without a whole bunch of people seeing 'em." But Daryl’s words didn’t assure Tyreese of Sasha’s safety and the other man told them that he wasn’t leaving that spot. "Standing guard ain't gonna do no good unless we come back with them meds. All right. We're gassing up by the front gate in case you change your mind." As the pair walked away from Tyreese, Alana leaned in towards the hunter and whispered, “That went as well as I told you it would.” Daryl scoffed at her and lightly shoved her shoulder a little before laying his arm across her shoulders. “Yeah, went about as well as it would if it were Rick in there and you standing guard, or the other way around.” He teased her. She knew that both Rick and she were as stubborn as they got and that he was very right about not being able to get them away from the other if they were in Sasha and Tyreese’s situation.

* * *

 

Alana glanced up from her spot leaning against the Camaro when she heard footsteps approaching where she and Daryl were hanging out. Her gaze fell on Bob walking up with the gas canisters. She heard Daryl slam the hood and move towards where she was. "Everything look all right?" Bob asked the pair as Daryl reached inside the driver’s side window for something and Alana decided to poke the man where his shirt slightly pulled up revealing a strip of skin, which made Daryl jump slightly at the unwanted touch and scowl at her before he brought his arm around her neck, promptly giving her a nuggie until she was begging him to stop. "Yeah. Zack kept this thing running pretty good." Daryl responded as Alana playfully punched him in the shoulder and tried to tame the mess Daryl had made of her hair. "This is Zack's car?" Bob asked with a lump in his throat that Alana caught making her eye the man curiously. "Yeah, fastest one we got,” Daryl said as he glanced over at Bob and saw him staring at the car with an unreadable expression on his face. “You all right?" Bob moved his gaze from the car to Alana momentarily before finally setting it on Daryl who was standing a few feet from the man with his hip cocked out. Alana wanted to laugh because all she could picture in that moment was Daryl placing his hands on his hips like a disapproving mother. "You really want me coming along?" Bob asked as Daryl patted his pants, looking for something before he reached into his back pants pocket, pulling out some sort of piece of paper. He unfolded it and brought it closer to Bob’s face before he pointed at the first word written on the paper. The list Hershel gave him. Alana realized as she peered at the paper but couldn’t make sense of the big words written on the page. "What's that word?" Daryl asked Bob as the other man spoke the word with such ease like it was the simplest word Daryl could have asked him to pronounce. "Yep, we need you,” Daryl told him as he moved to lean against the car like Alana was. More footsteps approaching caught Alana and Daryl’s attention and they both looked up in time to see Tyreese walking towards them “What's up?" Daryl asked as Tyreese stopped in front of him, sparing a glance over at Alana who was still leaning against the car but now her arms were crossed just under her chest. "Still got room for one more?" Alana knew what Daryl’s response would be and wasn’t at all surprised when the hunter replied with a hell yeah. "Good. Just got to get my gear." Tyreese said as he went back off in the direction he came and Daryl went back to checking the car over once more.

Alana went back to leaning against the car until something hit her. “Wait, does that mean I have to sit in the backseat in between those two?” The only response she got to that was a snort from Daryl which she frowned at. “You know one of these days, Daryl Dixon, you are gonna regret messing with me.” She said threateningly, or at least she attempted to sound threatening but it obviously didn’t come across that way. Daryl then tossed his vest at her, making the stinky piece of leather cover her face and he laughed when she threw it back at him just as fast as he had whipped it at her. “I’d like to see you try, Alana Salem.”

* * *

 

Alana wasn’t paying attention to the conversation going on in the front seats of the car. She was glaring at the back of Daryl’s head for forcing her to squeeze in the back seat with Bob and Tyreese on either side of her. Of course, she knew she was the best fit for being sat between those two, seeing as she was the smallest between her and Michonne but that didn’t mean she liked it. She didn’t like it one bit. The crackling of the car’s radio was what pulled her out of her session of glaring at Daryl.  "Would you hand me one of them CDs right there?" Daryl asked Michonne as the woman opened the glove box and pulled a case of CDs out. "... find sanctuary." A voice sounded through the radio, making Alana lean forward from her spot between the two men in the back seat to get a better listen as to what the voice was saying. "Was that a voice?" Bob asked as Alana shushed him loudly at the same time that Daryl did the same thing. The voice faded a little and Daryl turned the dial trying to get it back. "...determined to survive... Keep alive.” Then when they all looked up, there were a shit load of Walkers in the road. Alana was thrown back in her seat and her hands instinctively grasped the closest things to her which happened to be Tyreese and Bob’s thighs. Bob gently placed his hand on top of her in a way to comfort her but she didn’t want his comfort. She wanted Rick in that moment.

"Grab something!" Daryl yelled as he tried to bob and weave in between the Walkers that riddled the road. "Go to the left." Michonne suggested as Daryl veered to the left only to find them in the middle of a horde of Walkers. Daryl tried to back up and he succeeded for a short while until the Walkers piled up underneath the car preventing it from moving in any direction. "We're jammed up. Make a run for the gaps right there,” Daryl looked back at Alana who was staring at him in absolute horror. “You three, you make a run for the woods and you don't stop for nothing, you hear me? Now! Move!" Alana just acted in that moment, she didn’t think. She followed Bob out of the car and pulled her machete out, hacking into the nearest Walker to her, trying to find her way over to Daryl, someone she knew she could trust. She heard Bob yelling for Tyreese and she turned around slightly to see that he hadn’t even made his way out of the car yet. “TYREESE!” Alana yelled at the top of her lungs as she kicked a Walker away from her to watch as Tyreese moved out from the car and started slamming his hammer into the heads of every Walker that moved towards him. Go! he yelled at Bob and Alana as he became swarmed by the Walkers. Alana didn’t want to leave him. He didn’t deserve to die in such a way. Bob grabbed ahold of her arm and pulled her away from the horde of Walkers surrounding Tyreese towards where Daryl and Michonne had run to, the treeline. Alana grabbed a hold of Bob’s arm with both of her hands and she looked at him through tear filled eyes. “We can’t just leave him.” She pleaded with him but he just shook his head. Tyreese had sacrificed himself so that they could survive and that was what they needed to do. The two of them ran through the forest, hacking into any Walker that came close to them, stopping only slightly to listen for the sounds of Daryl’s crossbow and Michonne’s katana. They rushed into a clearing to find Daryl and Michonne there, ready to attack them had they been Walkers. “Come on,” Daryl said as he reached forward and grabbed ahold of Alana’s arm bringing them both further into the clearing before he turned back towards the way he came and loaded up his crossbow. “Hold up.” He said to all of them as he raised his crossbow towards the rustling leaves and was about to shoot the Walker that made its way out from under them but stopped when Tyreese emerged, taking out the Walker, falling to his knees in exhaustion. “Come on.” Daryl said as he rushed forward grabbing one of Tyreese’s shoulders bringing him up to his feet. Alana ran over to let the man lean on her, just glad that he was alive as they started their fight for their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my little project! In all honesty this story is working out better than my other stories I've tried to write. Usually I end up getting writer's block and I can't figure out how to keep going but this story is coming along for me much better than the others. The next chapter may be a bit of a wait because I am going on vacation to Utah and Arizona with my family. I will have it up though as soon as it is done!


	6. Chapter | Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize!

**The Road**  
  
 _"Grab something!" Daryl yelled as he tried to bob and weave in between the Walkers that riddled the road. "Go to the left." Michonne suggested as Daryl veered to the left only to find them in the middle of a horde of Walkers. Daryl tried to back up and he succeeded for a short while until the Walkers piled up underneath the car preventing it from moving in any direction. "We're jammed up. Make a run for the gaps right there,” Daryl looked back at Alana who was staring at him in absolute horror. “You three, you make a run for the woods and you don't stop for nothing, you hear me? Now! Move!" Alana just acted in that moment, she didn’t think. She followed Bob out of the car and pulled her machete out, hacking into the nearest Walker to her, trying to find her way over to Daryl, someone she knew she could trust. She heard Bob yelling for Tyreese and she turned around slightly to see that he hadn’t even made his way out of the car yet. “TYREESE!” Alana yelled at the top of her lungs as she kicked a down. er away from her to watch as Tyreese moved out from the car and started slamming his hammer into the heads of every Walker that moved towards him. Go! he yelled at Bob and Alana as he became swarmed by the Walkers. Alana didn’t want to leave him. He didn’t deserve to die in such a way. Bob grabbed ahold of her arm and pulled her away from the horde of Walkers surrounding Tyreese towards where Daryl and Michonne had run to, the treeline. Alana grabbed a hold of Bob’s arm with both of her hands and she looked at him through tear filled eyes. “We can’t just leave him.” She pleaded with him but he just shook his head. Tyreese had sacrificed himself so that they could survive and that was what they needed to do. The two of them ran through the forest, hacking into any Walker that came close to them, stopping only slightly to listen for the sounds of Daryl’s crossbow and Michonne’s katana. They rushed into a clearing to find Daryl and Michonne there, ready to attack them had they been Walkers. “Come on,” Daryl said as he reached forward and grabbed ahold of Alana’s arm bringing them both further into the clearing before he turned back towards the way he came and loaded up his crossbow. “Hold up.” He said to all of them as he raised his crossbow towards the rustling leaves and was about to shoot the Walker that made its way out from under them but stopped when Tyreese emerged, taking out the Walker, falling to his knees in exhaustion. “Come on.” Daryl said as he rushed forward grabbing one of Tyreese’s shoulders bringing him up to his feet. Alana ran over to let the man lean on her, just glad that he was alive as they started their fight for their lives._   
  
**Chapter | Four**  
  
Alana slowly unbuttoned her blood-drenched long sleeve shirt, peeling the fabric away from her pale, slightly redden skin irritated from the stickiness which left her standing in a pinkened wife beater that the blood had seeped onto. She tossed the shirt to the side, knowing it was of no use to her anymore. Another of Rick's shirts ruined. She then looked over her lower body, checking her weapon's belt, making sure that her pistol had a full clip in it, you know just in case, and inspecting Rick's machete, wiping the blood covered blade on her jeans. She slipped the bladed weapon back into its sheath on her belt and pulled the hairband from its spot around her wrist, twisting and gathering her hair up into a messy ponytail at about the middle of the back of her head, similar to ones that she had seen Beth do to her own hair. Truth be told, Alana never really knew how to put her hair up in a ponytail, she knew how to braid and stuff like that but she'd skipped the ponytail day of her girl puberty. Plus as a child, her father had thought it'd be easier just to keep Alana's hair above her shoulders, getting rid of the whole ponytail issue. Alana was stood a few feet away from the group discussing their game plan, which was find transportation and she half paid attention to the conversation.Her attention was focused on the large man crouching near the creek, ringing out his drenched shirt free of blood, grime and gore.   
  
She was watching him one second and the next, she had Daryl standing next to her, calling down to Tyreese. "Yo, Ty. Come on, let's go," Daryl then looked over at Alana who shrugged her shoulders at him. All she wanted to do was find a safe place where they weren't constantly under threat of a Walker attack but then again those places barely existed those days anyway. "Vámanos." Daryl swung his arm upwards, signalling to the other man to follow them. He then folded up the map in his hands and shoved it into his man purse. Okay, it was a satchel but Alana liked calling it a man purse. Michonne and Daryl began to head down the path leading off the bridge while Bob and Alana stay and wait for Tyreese to emerge from his mud hole. Tyreese barely spared Daryl a glance when the hunter tried to get his attention. "Ty. Ty!" Bob yelled as he checked the clip in his pistol, quickly shoving it back into place. "There should be a town a few miles south." This got Tyreese's attention somehow because he actually spoke to the pair. "Lost a whole night. My sister, everybody else-- they're probably dead." Tyreese said solemnly as both Alana and Bob looked at each other to see if the other had any ideas on how to respond to this man. There wasn't really any one way to respond to his words. All of the replies that Alana came up with just felt wrong. "Well, it helps to keep moving." Bob finally stated and Alana wanted to attack hug the man for not making her respond to that morbid statement. "No. It doesn't." Tyreese snapped angrily as he shook his shirt out and began to walk back up the embankment. Bob and Alana exchanged one more look of pure terror before heading off after the man. Alana just knew someone was gonna be getting hurt on this run.

* * *

  
  
Rick regretted telling Alana it was okay for her to go on that run. At least if she hasn't gone, she'd be with him at this moment and not a woman who he had just found out had killed two of their people in cold blood. The car ride was agonizing to say the least. For a good forty minutes of driving, both of them had been completely silent, that was until Carol decided to talk. "Maggie wanted to come, you know." She commented. Rick didn't want her to come along because well he didn't trust Carol at that prison with all those sick people. "Someone had to stay back, watch over things." He told her calmly, trying not to show the fact that he wasn't really taking her on the run for her skills. "Someone you trust, you mean," Carol said as Rick raised his hand up to his face and ran his fingers through his slicked back curls. "They would have drowned in their own blood. They were suffering. I made it quick," What really made Rick queasy was how easily she talked about what she had done. Like their deaths were no big deal at all. "We needed the bodies gone. We needed to stop it from spreading. They were the only ones who were sick. They were a threat. I was trying to save lives. I had to try. Someone had to." In a twisted sort of way, Carol made some sense. Her actions were done to keep those who weren't sick safe and she thought that burning the bodies would prevent that from spreading. But who was she to decide who lived and died. They could've survived it. They could've been fine but she chose if they lived or died for them. Rick kept his eyes on the road and he knew what he had to do to keep his family, the people at that prison safe.

* * *

  
  
Alana walked slightly behind Daryl and Michonne on the gravelled path with Bob not far behind the trio and Tyreese bringing up the rear. Alana had put her machete away but her hand still lingered on its handle ready to pull it out at any second. Whether that be to use it on a Walker or another human being, she was ready to swiftly unsheath her weapon and shove it through whatever attacked her's eye socket. She almost tripped over Daryl when he decided to stop in the middle of the path, crouch down and play with some rocks. Her knee connected with the hunter's crossbow which was draped across his back and Alana glared down at the stupid hick for picking that moment to look at the scenery. "Is that jasper?" Michonne asked Daryl as he cleaned off his pebble of choice by licking his fingers, brushing the dirt and grime off it. It was pretty, Alana had to admit but she didn't see the significance of it at all. It wasn't worth losing valuable time. Daryl gave Michonne a grunt of confirmation which made Alana chuckle a little because that was how Daryl communicated 90% of the time, in grunts and growls. "It's a good color. Brings out your eyes." Michonne joked as Daryl gazed up at her to see the huge shit-eating grin on her face. Daryl shook his head, silently laughing at the sword-wielding woman's antics and slowly stood back up, rolling the small pebble of jasper in his hand. "When Miss Richards went into A block, we were leaving. Asked me to keep a lookout. I'm gonna use it for her old man's marker." Daryl told them almost sheepishly and Alana understood his apprehensiveness. He was supposed to be their hunter, emotions weren't normally a part of that package but Daryl held more emotions than they all did combined. He felt emotions deeply but he rarely let those emotions surface.   
  
"You know all them back there?" Michonne asked him, impressed that he had managed to do that. Alana wasn't surprised though. Outwardly, Daryl was abrasive but inwardly, she knew that he liked those people back at the prison. They were good people and Daryl knew the difference between good and bad people. Daryl was an observer, a bystander who saw and witnessed everything that went on around that prison. It wasn't a surprise that he knew all those people. "You stay in one place more than a couple hours, you'd be surprised what you pick up." Daryl jabbed. Alana knew that this was pointed at Michonne for always going out to look for the Governor. He was saying that she'd feel the lose that they all felt if she had just taken the time to be around those people. When Michonne made no move to respond, Daryl started moving again and Alana followed right behind him, watching the hunter's body language, seeing the tension in his shoulders. Daryl moved his crossbow from its spot against his back and held the weapon in his hands, like it was a part of his body, like it was natural. Alana pulled her machete out and followed closely behind Daryl ready to run into battle with him if that meant that they'd get the medicine for those who were sick.

* * *

  
  
Rick pulled the SUV to a stop in the cul-da-sac just behind a seemingly abandoned car and both he and Carol slowly and apprehensively got out of their car, weapons at the ready. Rick slowly made his way towards the driver's side of the abandoned car and immediately thought of Alana when he saw the words Pardon Our Dust smudged on the window of the car. It was something she'd do. "Think they're coming back?" Carol asked him as he pulled the driver's side door open and grabbed the keys from the ignition. "Windshield's clean, wiped down. Can't have been here more than a day, maybe two." Rick said as he sized up the car up, looking at the contents of the trunk of the car. "You mean Daryl and the others. That's what this is right? In case they don't?" Carol stated as Rick moved back to their car and pulled both of them out backpacks and black garbage bags. "Until they do. That's what this is," Rick expressly told her, not liking one bit that she insinuated that Alana and her group wouldn't make it back. He didn't need that thought in his mind. He needed to think that she'd survive. To keep himself sane because he didn't know what he'd do if she didn't make it back. "Medicine cabinets, first aid kits-- anything that could help Hershel. We get in, we get out. And if we can eat it, we take it." Rick slipped his arm through one of the straps of his backpack, bending down to pick up the black garbage bag before he made his way towards one of the houses with Carol not far behind him. Alana was coming back. He knew she was. She was strong and stubborn. She wouldn't go down without putting up one hell of a fight.

* * *

  
  
At some point in their trek, everyone switched places. Daryl and Alana were bringing up the rear with Bob just ahead of them and Michonne and Tyreese leading their charge. The first thing that Alana noticed about the place they were approaching was the sign for Big Tony's Express Mart. The numbers for the unleaded gas were turned upside down and backwards clearly spelling out HELL. Alana was prepared to look further down the sign at the diesel price to find the numbers 666 there. The sound of rustling of leaves caught her attention and she turned her body so that she was face the forest they had just gotten out of with her machete gripped tightly in her hand. "You see something?" Bob asked both Alana and Daryl who had reacted the same way to the sound coming from the forest. Daryl had relaxed when nothing charged out at them but Alana still held her machete in her hand not wanting to let her guard down. "I don't know. Maybe." Daryl replied quietly as he placed his hand between Alana's shoulder blades urging her to move forward with the rest of the group.   
  
A glisten from something underneath the wall of ivy caught Alana's eye. "Daryl." She whispered to him as she pointed towards the glimmer and the hunter took the risk of possibly getting bitten, yanking and pulling on the ivy. The plants groaned and snapped under the strength that Daryl exerted on them. Alana moved forward and began hacking at the vines with her machete, making it a little easier to get to whatever was underneath. Alana almost screamed for joy when they had managed to get enough of the ivy away from the shining object and found that someone had stowed a van there. She turned towards Daryl and grinned widely at him as the hunter laid his arm over her shoulder and quietly called out to their group who had wandered a little bit ahead of them. "Look what Twinkle Toes found." Daryl joked as Alana pinched his side and relished in the fact that something had gone their way that day. Daryl moved around Alana and pried open the driver's side door. Alana could hear him ripping the plastic case that covered the wires under the steering wheel out and a few seconds later heard a string of curses flow out of Daryl's mouth. It was funny how natural those words sounded coming from his mouth but if it were Rick letting out all those words, Alana would raise an eyebrow at the man. "We gotta find us a new battery." Daryl told them as he got back out of the van and moved towards a window looking inside the express mart. He spit into his hand and went to wipe the dirt and dust away to get a better look at what was inside, only to be met with the snarling, decaying face of a Walker.   
  
"Got some friends inside. Come on. Let's clear a path. See how many we got." Daryl said briskly as he moved to the front of the ivy covered building and began cutting down vines to get through to the front doors. Alana placed herself between Michonne and Daryl because truth be told that was where she felt most comfortable. She was still very leery of Tyreese and Bob just didn't sit right with her. She chopped at the vines in front of her and turned her attention down to where Tyreese was relentlessly hacking at the vines with his machete. It was like he was in a trance. "Hey, man, go easy. We don't know what we're dealing with." Daryl warned the other man but he didn't listen. He kept hacking away and grunted in frustration when his machete got stuck on something. He yanked at his machete trying to free it from whatever it was caught on and when he pulled it out, there were wires wrapped around the curved tip of his weapon.   
  
The next thing Alana knew, a decaying hand reached out from behind the vines and grasped onto the front of her tank top. She responded in the only way she knew how to in the situation, she screamed. Which probably wasn't the best idea at the time but she was scared. Michonne swiftly severed the hand that was holding onto Alana and Daryl pulled her away from the mess. She watched as another Walker emerged from the vines, only being able to get halfway out before getting caught on the vines. It snapped its teeth and flailed its arms at Bob but didn't get anywhere near the man because Michonne sliced the top of its head off. The last Walker came right for Tyreese and he didn't seem to be putting up much of a fight against it. Tyreese pulled the Walker out from the vines and to Alana it looked like he was trying to wrestle with the gruesome creature. Everyone in the group except for Alana called out for Tyreese, told him to just let the thing go and Alana just stood there quietly watching as the Walker managed to make Tyreese lose his balance and fall flat on his back with the Walker above him snapping its teeth at him. Daryl quickly moved forward and pulled the Walker off of Tyreese, taking a few steps back from the creature before Bob shot it straight through its forehead. "Why the hell didn't you let go?" Michonne yelled at Tyreese but the man just walked away from the katana wielding woman.   
  
Alana stood still and just let herself think. It was Tyreese who had opened that building. The Walker who had almost taken a bite out of her and the one that had almost gotten Bob, they had gotten out because of Tyreese. His recklessness could have gotten one of them killed or bit. Alana didn't really know what she was doing until she moved right in front of Tyreese and raised her fist. A lot of times people say that punching someone ends up hurting you more than it hurts them. Well in that moment Alana sure as hell hoped that her punch had hurt Tyreese more than it hurt her. She was pretty proud of herself for being able to knock a grown man to his knees with one punch. She bent down so that her mouth was level with his ear and whispered, "Get your shit together" before walking off to see what the rest of the group had decided to do about the van not starting. _That was for Rick._ She thought to herself. _And for me._

* * *

  
  
The door opened slowly as Rick and Carol moved inside the seemingly abandoned house, walking on the balls of their feet to lessen the noise that they made. It was better to have the upper hand in small quarters like these and the silence gave them that upper hand. If anything moved in that house, they'd hear it. Rick set the black garabage bag down in the main hallway and quietly and swiftly sauntered into the bathroom, rummaging through the dark room, searching for any supplies that would help them. Food, medicine, clothes. Rick opened his backpack and grabbed pill bottles from the medicine cabinet behind the mirror in the bathroom. As he picked up one particular pill bottle, something clanked as it fell into the sink. Rick looked down and saw what he could only guess was a necklace with how dark it was in there. He hooked his dirt covered finger through the metal chain and let the necklace dangle from his knuckle, gazing at the little charm hanging from it. The charm was simple, an A outlined with little rhinestones, but it reminded Rick of Alana. He quickly clipped the necklace so that it hung around his neck and moved out of the bathroom to look the kitchen over. He'd give the necklace to Alana when she and the group got back from their run.   
  
As Rick searched the cupboards and drawers, the telltale snarl of a Walker echoed from upstairs. Carol and Rick moved to the base of the stairs and watched as the Walker lumbered towards the stairs. Its weight caused it to fall down the stairs as it tried to take a step down towards the pair at the end of the stairs. "Carol!" Rick yelled as he yanked the older woman back out of the way of the falling Walker. As the Walker hit the floor, its bones snapped and creaked at the impact. Carol wasted no time stepping forward, shoving her knife into its head.   
  
Then a door opened somewhere upstairs which caused Rick to pull out his Python and aim it up at whatever decided to show its face. He narrowed his eyes as a woman and a man slipped out of the door and stopped when they saw him pointing his gun at them. "Whoa, whoa. It's cool. We're, we're cool." The guy said in such a tone that told Rick that he had absolutely no idea what the world was like outside these walls. He spoke like there weren't Walkers out there ready to take a chunk out of them. "We have fruit." The woman told them as she held out her hands which had fruit in them. "Yeah, we got apricots, peaches. Here, catch," The guy remarked as he tossed one of the peaches down at Rick. It thudded down the stairs as it hit one step and fell to the floor by Rick's feet. Rick made no move to pick up the fruit. He just kept his Python pointed at them. "Or, you know, don't." Rick narrowed his eyes again at the pair and silently asked himself how the hell these people survived this long.

* * *

  
  
"How'd this happen?" Carol asked as she poked and prodded the guy's messed up shoulder. Rick stood a few feet away from the trio, observing them still not entirely sure about their innocent act. "Greenhouse around the corner." The guy replied as the woman walked up behind him and ran her fingers through the back of his hair. Watching the woman run her fingers through the guy's hair made Rick shiver as he imagined Alana doing the same thing to him. Her skilled fingers scratching the perfect spots on his scalp. He quickly shook the image out of his head and focused his attention back on the people in front of him. "Killjoys, man. Jackin' it up for the whole world. I thought everybody was an asshole before this all went down," The guy said as he glanced over at Rick who stood with his hands on his hips staring at them. "Now I love people. You know, people who are alive." Rick scoffed at the guy's words and shook his head. How ignorant can a person be in times like these? Ignorance that this got people killed in seconds.   
  
"How did it happened?" Carol steered the conversation back to her original question, not all that happy that it had been ignored in the first place. "When they were coming in through the door, I tripped crawling out the other side," The guy began to explain as he turned his body to show Carol the wound. "Pulled the glass out, but my shoulder-- it still hurts like a bitch." The area around his wound was bruised, black and blue and the small incisions where the glass had once been were scabbed over. "It's dislocated." Carol said so matter-of-factly that Rick glanced over at the woman out of the corner of his eye. She hadn't even gotten a good look at the wound and she told them that it was dislocated like she had x-ray vision. The guy asked her if she knew of any way to fix it and she nodded her head as she stared down at the table in front of her. She pushed everything that had been on the table off with one sweep of her arm and told the guy to lay down. "Okay, scooch over to the edge. Just hold your arm... Grab ahold of this bag," Carol instructed him as she handed him the black garabage bag that Rick had brought into the house to grip in his hand. "Hold on. And keep holding on." She said as she slowly began to rotate his arm upwards. "No, that hurts." He groaned as Carol shook her head at him and told him to keep holding onto the bag. Rick watched the exchange from where he stood and tilted his head curiously at Carol. He had never seen her around Hershel learning how to relocate a dislocated bone so how did she know how to do this. Carol moved his arm upwards until a pop rang out and she just let his arm hang at his side.   
  
"Sit up." She said as she moved away from the table to give him the room to sit up. He rotated his shoulder, cringing a little when he moved it the wrong way. "Is it..." The woman began to ask him as he nodded at her, smiling a smile that made Rick sick. There was nothing to smile about here, at least nothing that Rick saw as a reason to smile. "It's gonna be sore for a few days." Carol spoke as Rick decided to step forward so he could get some answers of his own.   
  
"After the greenhouse, you came here?" Rick asked as he flexed his hand against the butt of his Python. In the back of his mind Rick knew that if Alana was there with him, she'd already be begging him to bring them back with them. She'd tell him that they needed to protect those who really didn't know what the world out there was like, that they needed to show people how to survive without losing their humanity. "Yeah. We thought it was clear. We missed the deadie in the PJs, so we dove into the bathroom." The guy replied as Rick studied them, watching their every move. "So how long were you up there till we showed up?" Rick voice his question as the guy told him that they had been in there for probably two days to which Rick raised an eyebrow at. Why hadn't they just taken it on? There had only been one Walker. They could have easily taken it. "There was just one. You had guns." Carol said for Rick as they both shrugged at them. "We have about 12 bullets. It usually takes us about five or six to bring one of them down." The woman told them as Carol pointed out that they had knives that they could have used. "To what, stab it in the head?" The guy asked as Carol nodded her head at them. Alana's voice echoed through Rick's mind. You got to show them how to take care of themselves. That is our job. We know how to survive, we need to show others how to do the same.   
  
"We got separated from our crew about a week ago. Been trying to play it safe since it's just the two of us." The guy explained as the woman showed Rick and Carol her ankle that was bruised and burned. "We were at a refugee center together and there was a fire. People were just trampling over me," She told them as the guy muttered assholes under his breath. "Sam saved my life. We didn't know each other before. It didn't heal right, but it healed. And we found each other. It was worth it." The way she looked over at the guy, Sam, reminded Rick of how he sometimes caught Alana looking at him, like they could do no wrong, like she could depend on him for anything. "Where are you two headed next?" Rick asked as he could practically feel Alana scolding him for not immediately offering to take them back with them. "We just keep moving. We haven't been waiting for places to go bad. I mean, it's getting a little old." Sam told him as Rick nodded his head at the man understanding the feeling of every place they found falling apart. "You guys look all right. What's your setup like?" The woman asked as Rick shifted from one foot to the other, looking down at the hardwood floor below him. "The "skin-eaters"? We call them Walkers," Rick said as he looked back up at the two people who seemed to be clinging to his every word. _Ask them._ Alana whispered from somewhere inside his head as Rick chuckled to himself. "How many have you killed?"

* * *

  
  
Alana hacked away at the vines of ivy covering the van as she tried to shake the feeling of the Walker grabbing ahold of her tank top. She could still feel the cold dead fingers grasping the material that fell loosely against her chest. It had left a bloody handprint on her tank top as a reminder of her near-death experience. One that she didn't want to relive any time soon. "You should have let him go." She heard Michonne grit out through her clenched teeth at Tyreese who was standing on the opposite side of the van as Alana, a point she had made sure of. Alana flinched when Tyreese advanced on Michonne and she stopped mid swing with her machete raised defensively, ready to use the weapon if she had to. She was done with Tyreese's reckless shit. If she had to slap him around a bit with the flat edge of her machete so be it. "The hell you know about it, huh? You the damn expert?" Tyreese growled at Michonne as she glanced back at Alana and flicked her wrist at the blonde woman, trying to signal to her that she could handle the big brute.   
  
"No. I just don't want to see you die," Michonne began to speak as she moved so she was inbetween Tyreese and Alana to give the blonde some comfort in a world where the dead wanted to eat you. "Is that what you're trying to do? Do you even know what you're trying to do? I know you're pissed. And you have every reason to be," He did have every right to be angry. He had just lost the woman he loved but they all had lost something in that event. If they wanted to make it back alive, everyone in that group needed to keep a levelhead. Michonne understood that. "But anger makes you stupid. Stupid gets you killed." Alana couldn't agree more with Michonne's words. Emotions like anger and fear made people do things that they may have never imagined they'd do but when someone is pushed to their breaking point, there was no telling what they might do. "Aren't you still angry about the Governor? What he did?" Tyreese asked Michonne as Alana turned her attention to the other woman, watching for her answer. "If he was here right now, I'd cut him in two," Michonne said truthfully. Alana didn't doubt that Michonne would cut the bastard in two if he was stood in front of her. Hell, Alana would do the same thing if she ever came across him for all the pain he had caused Rick and his group. "'Cause that's how it needs to be. But I'm not angry. I was." Alana didn't know if she could say that she felt the same about Joe and The Claimers. She had never really thought about it. She hated them for what they had done to her and all the pain that they had inflicted on her but she didn't think she could ever not be angry with them.   
  
"Then why are you still going out looking for him?" Tyreese voiced as Michonne looked down at the ground and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know." She replied to him as Alana moved forward causing both Tyreese and Michonne to look at her. "If we want to get back to our people with the medicine, we need to not let our emotions cloud our judgment. The moment we let that happen, we all die." She told them as Daryl and Bob walked out of the express mart building with a battery in hand. Finally something was going to get done around there.

* * *

  
  
Once Carol was done searching the second floor for supplies, she came back down and set her black garbage bag down on the table. "We got about all we're gonna get here. We should move on." She told Rick as he nodded his head at her, agreeing with what she said. "So did we pass your test?" Sam asked Rick as he looked over at Carol for some input but she only shrugged her shoulders at him, offering him nothing. _Yes, they passed your stupid test, Rick._ Alana's voice echoed in his head as he looked over at Sam. _They pose no threat to us. They deserve to survive. Bring them back._ "We're in a prison eight miles north. If you come back with us, we can't guarantee your safety. There's an illness, a flu. It's bad." Rick told Sam as the man smiled, just happy to know there was a place for them. "We've lost a lot. Kids, too." Carol commented as the woman looked over at Carol sadly. "Yours?" She asked Carol who shook her head no. "No, thank God. But one of my girls, she's got it." Carol's words caught Rick's attention. Did she consider Lizzie and Mika as her children now? "You got fences and walls?" Sam asked Rick trying to change the subject to something less despressing. Rick nodded his head in answer to Sam's question which caused the other man to smile. "We're in." Both Sam and the woman were smiling like drunken fools at Rick and Carol but Rick knew that this was the right thing to do. It was something Alana would be proud of him for. "Yeah, whatever you need us to do." The woman offered clearly wanting to make sure she kept their chances of being able to go back with Rick and Carol high.   
  
"For now, sit tight. The two of us will circle back for you before dark." Rick told them, not wanting to risk their lives or his and Carol's if they'd have to go rescue them. But apparently Carol had other ideas. "Or you could help us sweep the rest of this neighborhood." Carol suggested as Rick looked over at her wondering exactly what she was trying to accomplish sending them out into the neighborhood, inexperienced in runs and dealing with Walkers. "We can do that. I can check the greenhouse, see if it's clear, bring back more fruit." The woman said in reply as Rick shook his head. He didn't want to send them out there, not by themselves, and he wasn't going to trust Carol with one of their lives because if she was willing to kill two of their own when she thought she'd end an illness from spreading, what would she be willing to do to someone who meant nothing to her. "And I can hit some of the houses." Sam added as Rick stepped forward.   
  
"Well, it's nice of you to offer, but your shoulder's barely--" He began to say but was interrupted by Sam. "As long as I don't put too much weight on this arm, I'm good." Sam told him as the woman nodded her head and said that she could still move pretty fast even with her bummed leg. "I just don't think--" Rick tried to reason with them but they weren't listening. They had passed the test. They didn't need to do this but they weren't giving up. They wanted to prove themselves to Rick and Carol. In a way, they reminded Rick of Alana. She never enjoyed feeling like she was leeching off others. She wanted to earn her place there. Rick smiled at the thought of Alana arguing with him about going on a hunting trip with Daryl but he quickly his that smile behind a frown. "We won't take any chances. We'll look. And if it's cake, we'll do it. If not, we'll just roll. I mean, you don't look so good yourself, man. Are you a righty or a lefty?" Sam asked Rick as he pointed out his bandaged hand. In an annoying way, Sam had a point but Rick was experienced in runs, they weren't. "We'll cover more ground. The sooner we get back..." Carol said to Rick as he clenched his hands into fists. Sure, he wanted to get back to his family as soon as possible but that didn't mean he wanted to put these people at risk. "You can't carry us, man. It doesn't work that way." Sam told Rick in a way that reminded the bearded man of his blonde companion.   
  
Rick turned his back to Sam and the woman and grabbed their guns for them before handing them over. "You fire a shot, we'll come running. Let's meet back here in two hours. You'll need this." Rick told them as he undid his watch and handed it to Sam. He could only hope that he wasn't sending them to their deaths.

* * *

  
  
As Alana approached where Daryl was hunched over under the hood of the van, she scrunched her nose at the smell of smoke wafting off of him. She moved so she was leaning against the driver's side door and watched as he puffed out a few clouds of smoke. "I hope you die of lung cancer." She chided at him as he chuckled at her and took another drag of his cigarette only to blow a puff of smoke right in her face. "Now wouldn't that be ironic. Damn zombie apocalypse going on and Daryl Dixon dies of lung cancer." He laughed out at Bob who was nursing a cigarette himself. "You are both sick human beings." Alana sighed as Daryl shook his head at her and held his hand out to her, extending the cigarette that was pinched between his forefinger and thumb towards her. "Live a little Twinkle Toes. It will help yah grow some chest hair." He joked at her as she crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at him. "You think I need to grow some chest hair. What am I? The bearded woman?" Alana asked him as he snorted loudly and Alana was pretty proud that she had managed to get a genuine laugh out of the guarded man. "Yeah, you and Rick would be quite the pair." Daryl commented as she walked over to the smiling hunter which was rare to even hear about, let alone witness, and she bumped her hip against his. "Maybe I should then. Rick told me he had a thing for girls with a little peach fuzz." She joked as she slipped the cigarette from its place between Daryl's fingers and brought the cancer stick up to her lips, lightly sucking in, hollowing out her cheeks like she had seen Daryl do. The taste was bitter and it left something to be desired but Alana relished in the fact that she got to dish some revenge back at Daryl as she blew her puff of smoke directly in his face. When Daryl scrunched his face up at the sudden impact of the bitter gas, Alana pumped her fist up in the air and did a little victory dance before she handed the puffer back to the now annoyed hunter. Alana stuck her tongue out at him when he sent a death glare in her direction and she dared to reach forward and pinch Daryl's nose between her forefinger and middle finger. Daryl then promptly grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his body, wrapping his arm around her neck, puffing smoke at her as he gave her a massive noogie which she tried to wiggle her way out of but failed.   
  
"You never told us about the group you were with before." Daryl remarked to Bob with his cigarette dangling loosely from his lips and his arms still wrapped around Alana's neck, who was trying to see if the resident hunter was ticklish. Bob looked over at the pair before him and shook his head at them. The two of them acted like brother and sister around each other, not that Daryl would ever admit to seeing Alana as a sister because that meant that there was sentiment there. "Which one?" Bob started to say as Alana whispered to Daryl to let go of her and he did. She knew that this wasn't the time to be playing around, not with Bob opening up. "You know, when you found me out on that road, I almost kept walking." Daryl seemed about as confused as Alana was by Bob's words. Why would he possibly choose to walk away from a sanctuary to wonder a Walker infested world? The idea of just bypassing somewhere safe was beyond Alana. "Why is that?" Daryl voiced for the two of them as he took another drag of his cigarette before holding it out to Alana who shook her head at him. "'Cause I was done being witness. Two times, two different groups. I was the last one standing. Like I was supposed to see it happen over and over, like it's some kind of curse. But, when it's just you out there with the quiet... Used to be I'd drink a bottle of anything just so I could shut my eyes at night. Figured the prison, the people, thought it'd be easier. The run to the big spot, I did it for me." Bob said as Alana listened to his every word. She recognized herself in Bob. When she had first arrived at the prison, her mind had still been in the mindset of what do I have to do so that I will survive to see the next day. When you're out there with all those bad people and the Walkers, that was how you had to think to survive but after a few months, Alana's mindset had changed from how can I survive to how can I ensure that the group survives. "You gotta keep busy." Daryl said softly as he gently pushed Alana out of his way and went back to working on the van. Alana moved around the van so that she was leaning against the passenger side door and was watching Bob as he spoke.   
  
"No. I did it so I could get me a bottle. Of anything. I picked it up, I held it in my hand, but I put it down. I put it down so hard it took the whole damn shelf with it. That's what brought on the Walkers, and that's what got Zack killed." Bob told them solemnly as Alana tilted her head at him and studied him. He definitely showed signs of remorse for his actions, that much Alana couldn't argue against but something was off. Sure he hadn't taken a sip of any alcohol but she wondered when the last time he had alcohol was. Had he been sneaking some back at the prison? She knew that sometimes all it took was one little sip for an alcoholic to fall off the bandwagon but she wondered how desperate he was for a drink. "That's bullshit," Daryl remarked in a very Daryl Dixon fashion. "Why don't you get in there and try to engine? It's a red and a green wire. Go on," Bob raised an eyebrow at the hunter, wondering if he was seriously talking to him or Alana. "It ain't rocket science. Even Twinkle Toes here couldn't mess it up. Give it some gas." At Daryl's comment about her, Alana sent a glare in his direction and threw a pebble at his chest. Bob stepped around the van and settled himself in the driver's seat before reaching around for the wires Daryl had mentioned. Daryl clapped when the van roared to life and Alana couldn't contain her excitement. She practically hurled herself at Daryl, nearly taking the both of them down to the ground. "Calm down, Twinkle Toes. You're like a damn Chihuahua." Daryl said as he patted her on the back, silently telling her to get off him. Apparently he had had enough physical contact for one day.   
  
Daryl whistled to catch Michonne and Tyreese's attention and moved over to the driver's side, tossing his vest onto the passenger seat claiming it for his own. He looked over at Bob and sighed to himself, he didn't want to have to play the sentimental guy he thought he wasn't but Alana knew that Daryl had a little bit a sentiment in him. "Sasha and me picked that spot. He took you with us. There ain't no way anyone could've known. You ain't gonna be standing alone, not no more," Daryl told him as Michonne and Tyreese made their way over to the van. Alana opened the back door and climbed over the first set of seat in the back section of the van to settle into the very back of the van, stretching out across the plush seat, earning herself some cracking and creaking of her bones. "Let's go." Daryl said as he climbed into the passenger seat followed behind Michonne and Tyreese who sat in the row of seats that Alana had climbed over. Michonne looked over her shoulder at the blonde who was stretched out fully across the backseat with her ankles crossed resting against the window. "You comfy there, _Twinkle Toes_?" She asked Alana as she snorted at her and nodded her head lazily. Hell yeah, she was comfy. It beat the cold ground.

* * *

  
  
"It's all expired by at least a year." Carol said as she checked the labels on the medicines Rick had found in the bathroom cabinet. "Better to take it. Let Hershel decide what he needs," Rick told her as he stuffed the bottles into his backpack. He stopped for a second and glanced over at her where she was standing in the doorway. "Did you think it was right? Letting those kids come back with us?" He asked her, needing to hear what she thought of all of it. "I think it was the humane thing to do." She said as she walked around the bed and rummaged through the night's stand. "But did you think it was right?" He repeated his question as she looked over at him with an eyebrow raised. "Look at us. Digging through drawers, hoping that... a couple of cough drops and some disinfectant might be the difference between dying and living a couple more hours," She began to say as he took in every word she said. It was like she had given up hope of saving their people. "If they're strong enough to help us survive this thing, yeah, I think you made the right call." He dared to ask what she thought if they weren't strong enough to help them through this and she just skirted away from the question. "Let's hope they are." She told him as he stared blankly at the pill bottle in his hand.   
  
He heard her walk towards him but he didn't look over at her until she spoke. "Rick... I killed two people and you haven't said a word about it." Her words confused him. How did she want him to react to it? Did she want him to kick her out? What was he supposed to do with this knowledge? "What do you want me to say?" He asked her as he watched her practically roll her eyes at his question like it was such a childish one. "It's not about what you say. It's about facing reality. It always comes for us and over and over again we face it so that we can live." She told him as she crouched down in front of him, resting her hand against the doorframe. What reality was that exactly? That they may have to kill some of their own to survive? He scoffed to himself and repeated the words that she had spoken. "So that we can live." She nodded her at him when he repeated her words almost as if she thought he understood what she meant but he didn't.   
  
"That's right. That's what it always comes down to. You can be a farmer, Rick. You can't just be a farmer. You're a good leader. Better than I probably gave you credit for." Carol remarked as Rick imagined Alana reacting to her words. She'd surely have been up in Carol's face at some point in her monologue defending him like she had done with Tyreese. Rick didn't know if he should take Carol's words about his leadership as a compliment or not. They seemed like a backhanded compliment. "I never murdered two of our own." He gritted through his teeth as Carol decided to bring Shane up. The mere mention of him made Rick clench his hands into fists. "He was gonna kill me." He reminded her as she nodded her head at him. He really couldn't help but feel like she was patronizing him and he didn't like that at all. "So were they. They were gonna kill all of us." Carol said it so simply and Rick couldn't understand that. Why did she get to decide if they were gonna live or die? What gave her the right to take their lives? "You don't know that." He argued with her as she looked at him like he was a child. "If you thought it would save Judith, Carl or Alana, would you have done it then or would you just have gone back to your crops and hoped it'd all be okay?" Carol's tone made him angry. She was acting like he didn't care what happened. He cared, a lot. But she didn't understand that. "You don't have to like what I did, Rick. I don't. You just accept it." In that moment, he really wished he had Alana there to help him make a decision he didn't know if he could make.

* * *

  
  
Alana walked alongside Daryl, where she felt most comfortable, with her machete out and ready to strike. They weaved in and out from between buildings around the campus, trying to find the stupid building Hershel had listed on the sheet he had given Daryl. It was like a freaking maze. "Looks like we're getting closer." Daryl commented as he pointed down the alleyway they were moving through. Alana looked incredulously at the hunter wondering how the hell he could even tell that when he had never once stepped foot here before. "The building we want is just up ahead." Tyreese told Daryl as Alana gave up trying to figure out how the hell they knew what they were even looking for, she just followed them.   
  
They made their way through what looked like a small library and Daryl took point with Alana bringing up the rear. How she had gotten stuck with that she didn't know but she did know that she was glad she had never gone to college. They just seemed to make things more complicated than things needed to be. Like calling a library a Learning Resource Center. _Seriously just call it a fucking library._ Alana thought to herself as Daryl called out for her to keep up. As they entered the first lab, Daryl split them all into groups: Bob, Michonne and Alana, and Daryl and Tyreese. "Let's make this quick." He said as he and Tyreese moved onto the next lab so that Alana, Bob and Michonne could work over the one they already were in. _Okay, now what am I supposed to grab?_ Alana asked herself as she opened one of the cabinets only to be met with about a hundred different labels. _This is gonna be fun._

* * *

  
  
"Let's hit the houses across the street." Carol said as they moved through the backyard of one of the houses they had looted. Rick stopped when he saw tomato plants growing there and told Carol to hold on for a minute. "How'd you put his shoulder back before? You learn that from Hershel?" Rick asked her trying to make some sort of conversation before Carol brought up something that ultimately pissed him off. That and he wanted to know how she knew how to even do that. "Internet. It's easier than telling an ER nurse I'd fallen down the stairs a third time." Carol replied which made him immediately regret asking the question. It was like asking Alana about what she sent through before they had brought her back to the prison. "I'm sorry." He said softly as she shrugged her shoulders at him. "Don't be. Just fixed what needed fixin'," She started to say as she looked down at the ground, shaking her head at whatever thought went through her head.  "I actually convinced myself I was happy with him. Which wasn't all that hard to do considering my idea of happiness then was just not being alone. Made a decent living. He was charming when he wanted to be, especially those mornings after he'd come home piss-drunk and... Stupid. Stupid. I didn't think I could be strong. I didn't know I could. I already was." Rick couldn't argue with that. Carol was strong but she acted like her past hadn't really happened.   
  
"Why don't you say her name?" Rick asked her as she looked over at him like he should be ashamed for mentioning her dead daughter. "She's dead, Rick. Sophia. Dead. Somebody else's slideshow." She told him as he looked down at his bandaged hand. He didn't want to forget his past. It made him who he was today. It was a part of him. "Some mornings I still wake up half-expecting Lori to be there. Reminding me to pick up Carl after school or telling me breakfast is ready. Every Sunday she'd make us these pancakes that were just... godawful. Clumps of flour that weren't mixed in right. Thing was... she knew it was bad." He laughed to himself at the memory and shook his head, smiling softly as he stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder. "Why'd she keep at it?" Carol asked him less out of curiosity and more out of politeness. He shrugged his shoulders at her and began walking around the house in front of them as he spoke. "She wanted us to be the kind of family that ate pancakes on Sunday."  
  
The sight that Rick was met with as he walked around the corner almost stopped him in his tracks. The woman's basket was strewn across the grass, smashed with its contents slipping out. Looking down at the object gave Rick a sick feeling in his stomach. He knew that there was a high possibility that she was dead. He just didn't want to believe it. Rick slipped his Python from its holster attached to his belt as he slowly moved towards the white picket fence gate and looked at the grass below his feet where apricots and peaches laid smashed on the ground and blood soaked the dirt. A single bloody drag mark cut through the fresh green grass, leading Rick straight to the fence gate, where he found her leg wedged between the gate and the fence itself. He took a deep breath and opened the gate fully to find his eyes drawn to movement across the street where her corpse laid with Walkers kneeling next to her, devouring her insides. Rick lowered his Python in defeat and silently mourned for the woman. "We should get back. Sam's probably waiting." Carol suggested after a couple minutes which made Rick look over at her incredulously. How could she not feel any loss at all for this innocent woman’s death? When she moved away from the fence and started to walk in the opposite direction of the woman, Rick let the gate close and followed behind her. Maybe they could save Sam.

* * *

"Anything ending with -cillin or -cin, C-I-N, grab it,” Bob commented as Michonne and Alana stood at the medicine cabinets, pretty much shoving every pill bottle they could find into their backpacks or at least that was what Alana had been doing. She was slightly ticked that Bob hadn’t told them that sooner, it would have saved her some room and she was dumping out all the pill bottles to sort between the -cillin or -cin. “We'll dissolve the pills in the IVs, put 'em right into the bloodstream. Dosage will be tricky but considering the time we lost....” Bob’s voice trailed off as he moved to set the backpack he had been filling with pill bottles onto one of the lab stations. He quickly latched and zipped up the backpack as Daryl and Tyreese made their ways into the room. “How'd you do?” Bob asked the two men as they set their backpacks down on another lab station. Alana moved towards Daryl with her backpack slung over one shoulder and glanced over the hunter’s shoulder at his findings. "Bags, tubes, clamps, connectors. Everything on the list." Tyreese listed off as Daryl turned to Bob asking if they had had the same luck. Alana wanted to comment that she would have appreciated it if Bob had made the -cillin and -cin suggestion sooner but she kept her mouth shut. Both Bob and Michonne nodded their heads at Daryl, telling the man that they had found all they needed to but when he turned towards Alana, she offered him nothing. She just shrugged her shoulders at the hunter and rolled her eyes. "All right, let's roll." Daryl said as he slung his man-purse over his shoulder and motioned for everyone to follow him. 

Alana quickly slipped her arms through the straps of her backpack and pulled out her machete as she moved along right behind Daryl. The hall they moved through was torn apart. Wires hung dangling from the ceiling, torn out of the walls and panels seemed to have been yanked from their spots. Windows were broken and tables were overturned onto their sides like barricades. Daryl shuffled slightly ahead of Alana, peering into the open doorways, checking for Walkers and the unfriendly types. He shined his flashlight into one particular room and Alana sharply breathed in at the amount of Walkers in the room, wandering aimlessly around in circles. “Up ahead.” Michonne whispered as she pointed towards a door that was closed. The group moved quickly and as quietly as they could towards the door but Alana’s heart dropped when she heard the Walkers shuffling out in the hallway behind them. Michonne pried the door open and everyone followed her inside with their weapons up and ready to strike. Bob was the last inside and he tried to push the door closed but it wouldn’t shut. “Hey! Door’s busted!” He hissed back over his shoulder at the group. “Oh. Hold up.” Daryl said as he went over to help him get the damn door to close. Alana was stood in the middle of the long room trying to keep herself in between the two doors on either side of her. Eventually Daryl and Bob gave up trying to get the door to shut and just moved some of the cages in front of it to hopefully slow the Walkers down if they got through the door that was left ajar. “There.” Michonne told the group as she pointed at the set of doors at the very end of the room. Said doors were conveniently chained shut which made Alana very leery of whatever was on the other side of it. Michonne reached for the chains strung across the door handles which caused the Walkers, that Alana had guessed to be on the other side of the door, to throw themselves against the door and Alana watched as their grotesque fingers slipped into the space between the two doors.

“How many?” Daryl asked Michonne as the Walkers started to push their way through the door that they had just tried to barricade. Alana tightened her grip on her machete and slightly crouched her body defensively, trying to keep her feears from taking over her mind. "I can't tell." Michonne replied not even paying any mind to the Walkers lumbering slowly towards them. Tyreese and Bob were paying close attention to the Walkers like Alana was. "We can take 'em." Tyreese exclaimed as he moved to step towards the Walkers but Bob grabbed ahold of his arm and pulled him back. "No! They're infected. Same as at the prison. We fire at 'em, get their blood on us, breathe it in. We didn't come all this way to get sick." Bob told him as Alana looked over at Daryl for some leadership, for some guidance but he seemed almost as bewildered as she was though he tried to hide it. "How do we know the ones in there aren't any different?" Tyreese gritted through his teeth as Alana moved behind Daryl and grasped the back of his vest in her hand.  
  
She was scared but she was trying to leech off Daryl's false calmness. "We don't." Michonne said bluntly as Daryl brought his hand backwards towards Alana who quickly grasped ahold of it. "Well, its gotta change sometime," Daryl began to say as he moved towards the door letting Alana's hand slip from his. He took his crossbow in his hands and looked around at the rest of the group. "Ready?" He asked them but no one replied they all knew that what was beyond those doors could seal their date but they had to push forward if they wanted to save the sick back at the prison. "Do it." Alana said ad Daryl nodded his head at her and slammed the stock of his crossbow into the padlock, busting it open. Here goes nothing. Alana thought to herself as they began to fight their way through the doorway.

* * *

Rick stood in the kitchen, staring out the window, silently asking Sam to show himself. He needed him to show up alive to keep his sanity. "It's been too long." Carol called out to him as he balled his hands into fists but made no move to look back at her. "We should give him a couple more." Rick replied almost harshly. Carol sighed  at his words and stood up from her seat at the table, moving towards him. "He might be fine. He really might be," Carol said to him softly as he glanced over at her. He didn't need her patronizing him. "But it doesn't matter... because he's not here... and we have to go," She told him as Rick turned towards her and looked her right in the eyes. "It was a nice watch." Rick was angered by her words. He could care less about his watch. If Sam showed up without it, he wouldn't be angry. He just wanted something to work out for once. He wanted to be able to save someone, and not watch them die before his eyes.

* * *

  
  
Alana ran through the hallway just behind Daryl, shoving Walkers away from.her body as they reached for her with their cold dead hands. Her breaths were ragged and labored and her heartbeat was thumping against her chest. She accidentally collided with Daryl as he stopped himself before he ran them straight into a dead end. He was frantically looking for any way out. When his eyes fell onto the door that lead into the stairwell, he yelled, "Back!" And tried to knock the door open with a strong kick to it just below the door knob but it wouldn't budge. "Don't have an exit." Michonne said in a level voice as Alana saw Tyreese pick something up out of the corner of her eye. "Then we make one." Daryl growled as he looked over at Alana who was seriously regretting tagging along with them. She had had enough excitement for an entire month. "Get down!" Tyreese yelled as he raised the fire extinguisher above his head and chucked it at the window behind Alana.   
  
The window shattered on impact and scared the living crap out of Alana. "Come on, move it." Tyreese yelled as he and Daryl helped Alana up to the window. She looked back at Daryl with pure fear in her eyes. She didn't want to be alone again. If something happened to them, she'd be all alone. "Jump to the walkway below, Alana. We will be right after you." Daryl promised her as a bunch if Walkers stumbled out of the rooms at the far end of the hallway. "They're here!" Bob yelled as Alana jumped down to the walkway and closed her eyes praying that they all would make it. She blocked out all the sounds around her until she felt a familiar hand come down on her shoulder. Alana turned around just in time to see Bob make the jump for the walkway and almost fall over the edge. His backpack dangled over the edge of the walkway and the Walkers below reached up for it, threatening to yank it from his grasp. "Bob!" Alana screamed as she scrambled over by him with the rest of the group right behind her.  
  
All of them were telling him to let it go. It wasn't worth it. "Let go of the bag, man." Daryl said as Bob managed to get his backpack away from the Walkers and up onto the walkway. It was the klunk of a glass bottle that made Alana open Bob's bag. The only thing in there was a bottle of alcohol, what kind Alana didn't know nor did she want to know. She was pissed. "What the hell is this?" She yelled at him as Daryl took Bob's bag from her hands and looked through it. "You got no meds in your bag? Just this?" Daryl snarled at Bob as he took the bottle from Alana's hands and threw Bob's backpack onto the walkway in front of him. "You should have kept walking that day." The anger radiating from Daryl could probably be felt back at the prison. Alana could see that Bob was afraid of Daryl, hell she'd be shitting herself if she was the one facing his wrath.   
  
Daryl then went to go chuck the bottle into the horde of Walkers below them but Bob spoke lowly, almost in a threatening way which had Daryl pausing mid-swing to glare over at the man. "Don't." Bob had said as his hand drifted over to his pistol and Alana knew then and there that Bon wasn't going to make it out of this without some bruises and a well-deserved beating. "What would you have done Bob if we hadn't made it? Would you have just left our people at the prison to die and drowned yourself in that goddamn bottle? Huh? What would you have done?" Alana screamed in question at him as Daryl advanced menacingly at Bob and got right up in his face leaving no room between them. He then yanked Bob's pistol from its holster and fisted the collar of Bob's shirt on the hand that was loosely holding the bottle of booze.   
  
"Just let it go, Daryl. The man's made his choice. Nothing you can do about it. Just gotta let it go." Tyreese told Daryl as Alana looked over at the man with the beanie in his head and laughed at how hypocritical he was being in that moment. Who had beaten a man who had been trying to help calm him down not more than 24 beforehand? Tyreese. Bob looked absolutely pitiful and pathetic like a dog who had just been scolded by its master. "I didn't want to hurt nobody. It was just for when it gets quiet." Bob told them as Daryl shoved the bottle into his chest and Alana grew enraged when Bob wrapped his arms around the bottle like it was as precious to him as a child was to their mother. "Take one sip. When those meds get in our people, I will beat your ass into the ground," Daryl growled at Bob as he practically whimpered in fear. "You hear me?"  
  
Alana didn't like how easily Bon was getting off. It pissed her off to no ends. So she took things into her own hands and snatched the bottle of booze from Bob's grasp. Bob leapt at her to get it back from her but Daryl shoved him away from her."What are you doing?" Daryl rasped at her as she unscrewed the cap and tossed it down at the Walkers hitting one square in the forehead. "He doesn't get anything to help with the quiet. He gets to suffer through it." She hissed ad she turned the bottle upside down and dumped out the contents. She could hear Bob yelling at her to stop but she didn't listen. She didn't stop till every last drop was gone. She then turned back towards him and hurled the bottle at his feet. "You disgust me." Alana growled at him as she glared harshly at him and followed behind Daryl as he moved to where he had tossed his backpack down. Alana would be on the sidelines watching Daryl beat Bob up when they got back to the prison. Hell, she'd even throw a few punches herself.

* * *

Rick was crouched by the SUV as Carol handed him supplies to stowaway in the trunk. He caught sight of Carol’s knife and he knew what he had to do to keep his own family safe, to keep those at the prison safe and to keep Carol herself alive. He stayed behind the SUV as Carol moved towards the passenger side door and tried to open it only to find it locked. Rick then stood up and moved so that he was in her sight. "They might have lived. Karen and David, they might have lived, and now they're dead. That wasn't your decision to make,” Rick spoke sternly like he was trying to really get through to Carol to show her that what she had done wasn’t wrong and it shouldn’t have even happened because she wasn’t the one who decided who got to live and who died. “When Tyreese finds out... he'll kill you. He damn near killed me over nothing." Rick moved closer to Carol as he spoke, hoping that she would understand why he was doing what he had to do. "I can handle Tyreese." Carol told him as Rick shook his head at her. She didn’t understand. The moment it was made known that she had killed Karen and David, no one would trust her. Everyone in that prison would feel uneasy because they didn’t know if she would kill them in their sleep. "When the others find out, they won't want you there. And if they don't make it back, if everybody dies of this thing and it's just the two of us, with Judith and Carl-- with my children... I won't have you there." Rick told her plainly as his expression grew very dark. He was protecting his family. He knew that if things came down to it, he wouldn’t be able to trust Carol ever again.

"Rick, it's me. No one else has to know,” Carol almost pleaded with him as he grinded his teeth together in frustration.  “I thought you were done making decisions for everyone." He then shook his head at her words. "I'm making this decision for me." He practically snarled at her as she began to get teary eyed but Rick wasn’t sure what to believe. He knew she wasn’t having remorse because she still thought she had done the right thing. "I could have pretended that everything was gonna be fine. But I didn't. I did something. I stepped up. I had to do something." She tried to justify herself but Rick just shook his head. She didn’t have to kill them. She could have waited and seen if the medicine worked. Instead she murdered two of their own in cold blood. "If you think I'm going anywhere without Lizzie and Mica--" Carol began to say as she wiped the tears from her face and turned her body away from Rick. Rick looked at her with an awestruck expression written across his face. She seriously would bring a sick child and a 10 year old out to survive in the wilderness. "If you want them to leave, to go out there with you? Lizzie's sick. Mica is 10 years old," Rick told her as she finally realized how stupid it was to think to bring those children out to live on the run with her. "We'll keep them safe. You're not that woman that was too scared to be alone anymore,” Rick knew that Carol was a very different woman from the one he met in that rock quarry. She wasn’t afraid anymore. In ways she was the exact opposite of Alana who was afraid of being left alone in this world. “You're gonna start over, find others, people who don't know, and you're gonna survive out here. You will." He grabbed one of the backpacks from the back of the SUV and tossed it onto the ground just before Carol’s feet. She looked down at the backpack and whispered, “Maybe.”

* * *

Daryl and Alana were sat in the backseat of the van as Michonne, Tyreese and Bob figured out what route they were going to take. Daryl was lazily across half the backseat with Alana leaning against him, her head resting against his bicep. He didn’t make any move to separate himself from her. Alana took it as him being too emotionally and physically drained to fight with her. “Taking Highway 100." Tyreese told Daryl and Alana as he opened the back door of the van and sat down in the middle section.  Bob sat down in the passenger seat, as far away from Daryl and Alana as he could get in the van and Michonne slide into the driver’s seat. “We heard.” Daryl practically grunted at the other man as Alana sighed and looked up at Daryl who was brooding like a male member of the human race. "You were right, what you said before. About the trail going cold. I don't need to go out anymore." Michonne said to Daryl as she looked back at him through the rearview mirror. Daryl didn’t make eye contact with the katana wielding woman and instead grumbled out a good at her. And that was the end of anyone up there trying to make conversation with Daryl.

**  
“Daryl,” Alana whispered in a small voice causing the hunter to look down at her. “Do you think the medicine we got will help them?” Daryl didn’t reply to her question in words but in his actions. He moved his arm from underneath her head and laid his arm across her shoulders. He let her be close to him. He gave her the thing that she needed most in that moment, comfort. That gave Alana the answer that she needed. They’d survive like they always did. They’d survive together or die together. There was no separation between people. Either they all worked towards a common goal or they withered away. They needed each other more than anything to live to see another day. They were a family, not just members of community. “Thank you.” She murmured to the hunter as she laid her head down on his chest and slowly fell into a peaceful sleep, well as peaceful as sleep could get in the apocalypse.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my little story! I hope you enjoyed it!!!


	7. Chapter | Five

_**Author's Note:** _

_***peeks out from behind my laptop* Yeah, it's been a while. I hope that a lot of you haven't lost interest in this story. I wouldn't be surprised if you have but it is back. I lost my muse at some point during my break from this and now I have it back! I hope that you guys still like what I am doing with this story and stick with me through this rocky journey. Enjoy this chapter sorry for the long long wait.** _

* * *

**The Road**

" _Daryl," Alana whispered in a small voice causing the hunter to look down at her. "Do you think the medicine we got will help them?" Daryl didn't reply to her question in words but in his actions. He moved his arm from underneath her head and laid his arm across her shoulders. He let her be close to him. He gave her the thing that she needed most in that moment,_ comfort _. That gave Alana the answer that she needed. They'd survive like they always did. They'd survive together or die together. There was no separation between people. Either they all worked towards a common goal or they withered away. They needed each other more than anything to live to see another day. They were a family, not just members of community. "Thank you." She murmured to the hunter as she laid her head down on his chest and slowly fell into a_ peaceful sleep _, well as peaceful as sleep could get in the apocalypse._

**Chapter | Five**

_The weeks following Alana's arrival at the prison had been stressful to say the least. She wasn't cooperative at all with Hershel. She refused to let him touch her, let alone get anywhere near her so that forced the man to have stand outside the cell and give his two girl's instructions as they patched her up. She had hideous black and blue bruises all over her body, scars on her back that Hershel guessed were from various items: whips, knives, cigarettes, basically anything that could deal her bodily harm, and she was all skin and bone from lack of nutrition._

_When Maggie had helped her out of the SUV, that was when Rick first witnessed what the world out there had done to an innocent woman. She had come out of that car, she had basically no clothes on at all. She only had a set of off-white undergarments covering her and a blanket that Maggie had given her to wrap around her shoulders to cover her up a little bit. Her skin had been sickly pale littered with bruises that Rick had seen before on abuse victims and jagged abrasions zigzagged across her limbs, scabbing ever so slightly. There had been cuts along her wrists from the handcuffs that she had been locked in and her thumbs had been dislocated in order to get them off her. Rick took one look at her and he knew that she had been through hell and back._

_It took about two weeks for her to actually venture out of the cell that they had given to her and even then she ran right back in there when she came face to face with Rick. Those two weeks she spent cooped up in her cell, the women of the group had found her cowering in the corner with her arms wrapped around her legs, hugging them to her chest. She only showed that bit of weakness to the women of the group. If she came into contact with one of the men of the group, she acted feral and ready to attack at any moment. When she refused to leave her cell, they brought in meals to her though it took her a while before she actually ate them or ate a good portion of them._

_Her body was weak and fragile like a foal's and it took a great deal of energy just to stand and move around. They didn't learn what actually happened to her until Beth managed to get it out of her. She only told her a washed-out version of it but it gave the group insight as to why Alana was acting the way she was. She was afraid of the men because of the men who had left her abandoned in that house to die. She didn't want them to hurt her like those men did. That took awhile to get across to Alana. That no one in the prison was going to hurt her._

_Rick could remember iconically the first time she ventured outside of the cell block and out into the fields. Carl had been upset with him that day about the same thing he was always upset with his father about, taking away his gun. Of course, Carl being upset with him gave Rick some setbacks with his farming that day. "I am not a kid anymore, Dad!" Carl had yelled at him with such anger in his voice. It was the first time Rick had ever witnessed his son's real anger towards him. "I know you aren't a kid, Carl, but we have work to do." Rick had tried to bypass an ugly confrontation but Carl wasn't letting it go. He grabbed ahold of the tomato plant that Rick had been tending to and ripped it out, throwing it aside at the fence where it clanged against the metal wiring. Rick looked up at his son incredulously with his mouth slightly hanging open as Carl proceeded to pull out the rest of the plants, throwing them against the fence. He kept yelling_  "I HATE YOU"  _at Rick and the bearded man had no idea what to do. He was frozen in his spot. Carl reached for the wooden stakes that had been bracing the tomato plants upwards and he paused his actions as someone walked up quietly to the pair. Rick spun his head around at the sound of the person's gentle voice. "I understand that you are angry but we all still need to eat and we can't if you pull all our food out." Alana spoke softly as Carl stood stock still glaring at the fragile looking woman. Rick fully expected her to crumble under Carl's harsh look but she stood her ground._

_She stood at the edge of the vegetable garden, looking like a completely different woman from the one Maggie had practically dragged into the prison. Her skin had gained a little bit of pigmentation back and her bruises had faded to faint markings, making her look a hell of a lot better than before. She had some meat on her bones and she wasn't just a skeleton anymore. She wore a large pull-over sweatshirt over her torso and her legs were covered with a loose pair of skinny jeans. Lastly her hair looked healthier and not like straws of hay like it had looked when she stumbled out of the SUV. Altogether she looked like she could survive in the world around them at least for a little while._

_"I hate you." Carl muttered under his breath as he stomped childishly back up to the yard away from Rick. Rick made no move to go after his son because he knew that he wouldn't actually talk to him which would defeat the purpose of following him. Rick sighed lowly and began to round up all the plants that had been strewn across the field, only to find that Alana had begun to do the same thing. As they both reached for the same plant, Alana looked Rick right in the eyes and stared at him for a good five minutes before actually saying anything. "You won't hurt me." She said as more of a statement than a question like she was just looking for some form of confirmation of what she believed to be true. She had this child-like look to her as she tested out the waters around her, seeing if she could really trust the people she had been surrounding herself with for the last two months. Rick nodded his head and gestured for her to work alongside him, replanting the tomato plants. "I won't hurt you, Alana." He told her as she subtly nodded her head and worked in silence next to him, brushing against him every so often._

He had been the first male that she had opened up to. That was what Rick thought about as he drove in silence down the barren road to the prison. He thought of Alana and how far she had come. He only hoped he wasn't wrong to believe that she was coming back to him. He didn't want to be hurt like that again. He didn't know if he'd be able to survive if it happened again. And that scared him.

* * *

An array of coughing, choking and overall panicked breaths blanketed the cell that Hershel had practically ran, well limped, into not five minutes before. Henry struggled against him, recoiling and convulsing, just trying to get away from the pain he was feeling. Milky fluid filled up his lungs and seeped from the corners of his mouth, causing him to gurgle and try to cough up the foreign substance. Hershel moved closer to Henry so that his knees were on either side of his head, locking it in place, keeping Henry from turning his head on Hershel as he tried to relieve his pain. "Sasha, Glenn. Hold down his arms and legs." Hershel instructed as the two, almost equally sick members of the A block quarantine moved to hold the man down for the former vet. The moment they began to hold Henry down, he tried to get away from them and break free from the cage they had put him in. "Henry, I need you to calm down. We're trying to help." Hershel softly said to the man as he held the man's tongue back with the metal device that looked like it would put a hole through his mouth and began to insert a tube down Henry's throat. When Henry groaned in pain as Hershel eased the tube down into his lung, Glenn reached forward to stop his father-in-law, not wanting the man to be in pain. Not a minute later Henry inhaled using the tube and he visibly calmed down. Hershel let out a sigh of relief and connected the tube to a squeeze pump to help regulate Henry's breathing. He gently squeezed the bag at the end of the pump and watched Henry take in a shaky breath and exhale with little problem.

"Drink some of that. Both of you," Hershel sternly told Glenn and Sasha as he nodded his head at the cup of tea he had brewed up. Glenn listened to his instructions and lifted the metal cup up in a shaky grasp, bringing it up to his lips, allowing a small amount of the soothing liquid to slide down his esophagus before passing the cup off to Sasha. "Some council meeting, huh?" Hershel tried to joke as his two companions panted and gasped next to him. Sasha looked over at Hershel as she set the cup of tea down beside her and leaned her heavy head back slightly against the wall of the cell. "We're two members short. Three if you count your new recruit, Alana." She breathed out as she tried to let some air into her lungs but it caught in her throat, making her cough. "I think we should make some new rules before they get back," Hershel abruptly stated causing both Sasha and Glenn to look over at him in confusion. "I hereby declare we have spaghetti Tuesdays every Wednesday. First we have to find some spaghetti," Sasha gave Hershel a pointed incredulous look and he sighed to himself. Alana would have cracked a smile at his joke. He was just trying to keep things positive in a place where everything seemed hopeless.

"You okay to take over?" Hershel asked Sasha as he squeezed the bag once more, looking at Sasha for her answer. She slowly nodded her head at him and shuffled herself over to take the pump from Hershel's hands. "Every five to six seconds, squeeze. You start feeling lightheaded, grab somebody else to take over. We'll take it in shifts," Hershel told her as he got himself up onto his feet and moved to the entryway of the cell. Glenn stood up, slightly wobbling on his feet, causing him to brace himself against the bars of the cell. "You want to help me go on my rounds?" Hershel asked him as Glenn nodded his head at him and moved out of the cell with him, stopping to ask a question that was bugging him. "How long will that keep him alive?" Glenn whispered to Hershel as both men looked back at Sasha and Henry as she squeezed the bag for him. "Just as long as we're willing to do it. As long as it takes." Hershel replied to him, putting his foot down, not wanting to even think of ending a life like Karen and David's lives had been ended.

As the two men walked away from the cell, they could hear Sasha begin to cough which made them both stop for a second and look back at her and wait to move on until she had stopped coughing. They went into each cell, checking in on them, making sure that they were still breathing. The two men were polar opposites as they ventured from cell to cell. Hershel was the essence of positivity while Glenn was ready to plunge his knife into the person's skull as soon as he walked into the cell. In ways, Hershel didn't want to accept that everyone in the quarantine could very well die the next day. But no one really wanted to ever accept that the people around them could die at any moment. As they moved to continue their rounds, the two men travelled down to the first floor to look over the sick there.

Glenn had expected to come across at least one person who had passed since the last rounds Hershel had done so when he and Hershel walked into the very last cell, he wasn't surprised when Hershel found no pulse. He was ready to do what he knew had to be done but Hershel stopped him before he could go through with it. "No. Not here." Hershel said as he held Glenn's arm back. He gave Glenn a pleading look, begging him to just do this the way Hershel wanted to. Once Glenn had nodded in agreement with him, Hershel exited the cell and came back with a gurney. "Help me get him on this." Hershel asked the Korean man as Glenn took in a deep breath which almost threw him into a coughing fit. "Okay, but in a couple of hours when Henry's dead..." Glenn began to say which made Hershel hiss at him but he continued with what he was trying to say. "How are we gonna get his body down the stairs, across the cell block and through those doors without anyone noticing?" And Glenn did have a great point. At that very moment the only person healthy enough to actually move around was Hershel and well his gimp leg was kind of a handicap walking down the stairs by himself, there was no way he'd be able to get Henry's body down there by himself, even with help it'd be damn near impossible not to mention an incredible amount of strain on the person helping Hershel.

"If that happens - if- you're gonna help me." Hershel said this to Glenn like it was the most obvious thing he had ever spoken before. Hershel was trying so hard to be positive he was ignoring what was right in front of him, Glenn was just as sick as those who were bed ridden. Glenn had to ask Hershel the question he didn't want to even consider. "And what if I'm gone?" Glenn asked softly as Hershel rebuked him and told him to shut up rather sharply. "Help me get him on this." Hershel repeated as Glenn accepted the fact that his father-in-law wasn't just going to give up on these sick people, hell, he'd die trying to save them if he had to.

They draped the sheet from the man's cell over his body, covering him almost completely, leaving his head uncovered as to not attract as much attention to them. They managed to get halfway through the cell block door before anyone actually noticed them. Hershel stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Lizzie's voice sounded out from behind him and he spun around quickly in attempt to block her view of the man's body. "What are you doing?" She asked him with such innocence in her voice that made Hershel want to cry. She shouldn't see this. She needed to keep and protect that innocence. "We're taking Mr. Jacobson to a quieter place," Hershel began to tell her as she tried to get a look at the body but he did what he could to not allow that. "Go get my copy of "Tom Sawyer" from my room. I want you to read it by tonight. We all got jobs to do. That one's yours." She looked at him with her mouth open and her eyebrows raised. "I won't finish it." She replied as Hershel tilted his head at her and a small smile graced his lips. "Why?" He asked her as she nonchalantly retorted that it'd get too dark for her to finish which made him chuckle a little bit. "Well, give it your best try. And drink some tea." Hershel said to her as she nodded her head and started to move towards Hershel's room. Hershel watched her disappear into his room and out of his sights before he turned back towards Glenn and pushed Mr. Jacobson out of there before he reanimated.

* * *

Glenn glanced up at Hershel where he stood at the end of the gurney by Mr. Jacobson's feet with his Bible in his hands and he sighed inwardly. Hershel hadn't ever killed another human being before and to him, Mr. Jacobson was still that in a way at least in the sense that he hadn't reanimated yet. All the Walkers that Hershel had killed had been threats. They hadn't just been standing around wandering aimlessly. They had been threats to his family. Mr. Jacobson hadn't reanimated and he wasn't a threat to anyone Hershel cared about so that was one reason he couldn't bring himself to end those who had died from the sickness. "You haven't had to do this yet, have you?" Glenn commented as he flexed his hand around the hilt of his knife and made Hershel look up at him from his Bible. No, he hadn't had to end someone before they reanimated before. Someone had always beat him to it and done it for him. "There was one late last night. Sasha did it," Hershel replied as he looked down at Mr. Jacobson, blood tears staining his face, trails of blood running down his chin and bloodshot eyes. It was a horrifying sight and those people in there, those who were also sick didn't need to know what could happen to them. That wouldn't help anything. It would only make things worse and raise the risk of people bolting from the quarantine and contaminating those who hadn't been exposed to the sickness. "People don't need to see it. I don't want them to." It was understandable Hershel want for them to not know what the end meant. It would only hurt them worse in the long wrong. Positivity was a powerful force and so was negativity. If they knew what could possibly be their end, Hershel didn't want to think of the things the sick would resort to to end their suffering. Low groaning caught Hershel's attention and he watched as his son-in-law plunged his knife straight into Mr. Jacobson's head with no hesitation. He just hoped that they'd keep their humanity after this. That they wouldn't turn themselves into the thing that they feared.  _The Walking Dead._

* * *

Maggie stood outside the isolation room behind the glass window separating her from the quarantine, pacing back and forth, waiting for Glenn to walk into the room. A surge of panic ran through her as the door to the room opened and her father walked in instead of her husband. "Where's Glenn? He said he would meet me." Her voice was laced with sorrow and fear but Hershel quickly tried to subdue that assuring him that he was okay just sleeping. "He was helping me and he got tired, that's all." He said in reply to her question of his state of being. He understood Maggie's fear. None of them knew how this sickness worked. It was different for each person and that was a scary thing. Not knowing how long they had before things got to the point of no return. "If you need help, I can help you." Maggie offered which made Hershel want to snap and tell her that there was no way in hell he was letting her in there unless it was his last resort. He wasn't going to subject her to this. He sure as hell didn't want her last image of Glenn to be him with blood streaking down his face if he didn't make it through this. "I don't. I was just keeping him occupied. Keeping his mind on helping people." He said hoping that it would get her off the topic but she didn't drop it. "I can come in there and help you," Maggie said but Hershel shook his head at her. She understood that Hershel was trying to protect her but she didn't understand what it was he was trying to protect her from. "You can rest-" She began to suggest but Hershel shouted, "No!" and her words died in her throat.

"How's Bethy?" He asked after a long pause, trying to just move on from that previous topic. "She's okay," Maggie told him as she looked at him sadly, taking in the bags underneath his eyes and the tiredness in his posture and the way he walked. "Daddy, you look so tired." He smiled at his daughter's worry about him and moved closer to the glass window. "I am. But I'm fine. They could return any minute now," He reminded her as she glanced back over her shoulder. "It's hard in here. But we're holding it together. We're gonna make it. Don't you believe that?" She nodded her head at his words and replied that of course she believed that Alana, Daryl and the rest of that group would do what they had to to get back to them, that they sure as hell wouldn't go down without a fight. "Just hold it together a little longer. Please? I love you, honey." Hershel said this with a lot of emotion trapped inside, ready to just spill over but he had to remain strong for his daughter. He couldn't let her know that he was just as scared as she was. "I love you, too." Maggie replied as Hershel walked out of the room and moved back into the cell block.

Glenn was waiting just inside the cell block when Hershel walked in. He had been listening to their entire conversation. "Thank you for stopping her." Glenn said to Hershel as he stopped in front of the sick man and regarded him. He was rather pale but that was to be expected with him being as sick as he was. "We need someone out there taking care of things." Hershel stated plainly and both Glenn and Hershel knew that those words were correct. They did need someone out there keeping things running with the fence and someone needed to be out there to let Daryl and them back in when they returned. "If she saw me, couldn't keep her out," Glenn told him as both he and Hershel smiled fondly thinking of Maggie's stubbornness when it came to those she loved. There would be no keeping her out if she knew exactly what was going on in there. "I know you didn't want to lie to her." In a sense, yes, Hershel had lied to her but he also hadn't lied to her. Glenn wasn't on death's doorstep, he was just feeling the effects of the sickness. "I wasn't lying. Look at you. You're resting," Hershel stated with a smile on his face, making Glenn smile as well. "I'm almost done down here. Why don't you go lie down?" He suggested to Glenn as the other man nodded at his father-in-law and walked towards his cell. Hershel regarded all the sick people in the cells around him and he hoped for their sakes that Daryl and his group showed up sooner rather than later. He didn't know how long this would wait out.

* * *

The sounds emanating from the Walkers filled her ears as she moved along the fenceline, skewering each grotesque creature that reached for her. She was frustrated, that much was an understatement. She wanted to be with her father, helping take care of the sick, well, Glenn in particular. And Hershel wasn't gonna budge on that unless something devastating happened and he had no other choice. That made her angry. So she was taking out that anger on the Walkers. Letting the snarls and groans coming from the creatures take control over her body, sending it into survival mode, fluidly stabbing one after another where it counted.

Then the sound of tires crunching the rocks that littered the road heading towards the prison echoed through the Walkers' growls and moans, making Maggie look over their heads at the gravel road in front of her and she took off running at the sight of the lime green SUV. Rick was back. She grabbed ahold of the pulleys that operated the doors to the entrance and yanked as hard as she could on the rope, pulling the doors open for Rick to drive right through. The first thing Rick did when he slowed the SUV to a stop was ask if Judith and Carl were alright. His voice cracked with concern and was laced with tears if Maggie were to tell him that she was so sorry, that they somehow died in the time he was gone. "Yeah. They're okay. Rick…" Maggie began to ask as her question died in her throat.  _Where's Carol?_ In the back of her mind, she already thought she knew the answer to that question.  _Carol is dead._ She thought to herself as she watched Rick look around the area in a frantic manner like he was paranoid something would happen. "Glenn, Hershel, Sasha?" Rick asked her as he placed his hand on the door, ready to hop back into it the moment she assured him that everyone was okay. "Yeah, it's bad, but they're fighting it. Alana's not back yet. Rick," Maggie told him as he nodded his head at her, trying not to allow her to see just how much Alana's absence was affecting him, and went to climb back into the SUV, stopping only when he heard the woman he had left out there mentioned. "Rick, where's Carol?" He closed his eyes tightly, squeezing them shut, mentally praying for all this shit to just be over. "It was her," He started to say as he turned back towards Maggie to gauge her reaction. She looked at him in confusion not knowing what he meant when he said  _it was her_. "She killed Karen and David. She was trying to stop it from spreading," He clarified for Maggie as her face just dropped. The thought of one of their people being capable of killing someone in cold blood was just beyond her. "Tyreese is gonna be back here soon, so I didn't think she should be here. And I couldn't have her here. She has a car, supplies, she'll figure it out. I'll tell your dad. Don't tell anyone else yet." She nodded her head in agreement to his words and simply replied with an  _okay_.

She trusted his judgement but she also knew that he didn't necessarily trust himself. So she wasn't surprised when he voiced his questioning of the choices he had made to her. "Would you have brought her back?" He asked her as she regarded him, trying to see a glimpse of what answer he wanted from her because she didn't want to end up being the reason Rick lost it. "She said she did it?" Maggie inferred as Rick just nodded his head at her trying not to look at the woman. Her response caught Rick slightly off guard. He didn't expect Maggie to agree with his choice but then again it wasn't like they could take it back at all. What was done was done. "Then you were right to send her away. I don't know if I could have." She told him as Rick shook his head at her. He knew that she would have been able to make that decision to save the people she loved. There was no doubt in his mind that she would protect those who she cared about no matter the cost, just like he would do with those that he loved with all his being. "You could have, Maggie. You've done harder things," He began to tell her as she looked over at the cluster of Walkers throwing themselves against the fence. "Don't doubt yourself. We don't get to anymore." Rick then moved away from Maggie and went to get back into the SUV when the sound of her voice stopped him in his tracks. "Rick, the cluster's getting bigger than the one that took the fence down. We need to do something." She said as he paused at the car door and nodded his head at her assuring her that something would be done about it.

Once in the vehicle, Rick's mind immediately went back to Alana. He couldn't help but worry about her. He hadn't wanted her to go along with Daryl's group and he just really hoped that he wouldn't regret not going with them. He just wanted her to come back safe. He could only pray that she would come back to him alive.

* * *

_Everything was a blur around her. All the sights and sounds just blended together. Someone was screaming her name but she couldn't pinpoint where they were. "Alana! Alana! Help me!" Someone yelled out as her vision began to clear. All she could see was crimson red blood and miscellaneous body parts. What really scared her was the fact that there was nothing distinguishing the body parts from being Walker limbs and fresh human limbs. She tried to stand up but slipped in the blood and gore around her, giving her skin and clothes a nice coating of sticky blood. "Rick!" Alana screamed as she frantically looked around for her love or any sign of anyone living. She managed to get steadily to her knees not that that really helped much because she was still crawling around in the blood and gore. "Carl!" She called out urgently, searching for the people she called her family but all she saw around her were bodies ripped up and shred to pieces. The decay that was present on the various body parts told her that the former bodies had been Walkers, not members of her group which sent a small wave of relief across her body only to be replaced with fear when she heard Judith's terrified cries echoing from somewhere near her but she couldn't see Judith anywhere._

_She turned her body around completely to face where her back had been pointed towards and she saw a man crouched over cutting something up. "Hey!" She yelled and what she saw turn towards her horrified her._ Joe  _and in his hands was Judith's onesie. "No!" Alana screamed as she ran towards Joe and launched herself at him with her full body weight but she never made contact with his body. She landed on the gorey ground below her and quickly turned her body so she was facing the ceiling of the room she was in. There hanging from chains attached to the ceiling was Rick, bloody and beaten, just like Alana had been when Maggie and Glenn had first found her. She watched as The Claimers all took turned beating the living shit out of Rick with bats, their fists and even knives, creating lacerations all over his torso. She tried to get up to help Rick but was stuck where she was sitting. She looked down at her hands and saw that they were bound to the floor with chains much like the ones that hung Rick up like a pinata. "Stop, you're killing him!" Alana screamed as her chains were yanked back so that she was laying flat on the blood covered ground. There Joe stood over the top of her smirking down at her with a cringeworthy smile across his chapped lips. "That's the point." He replied back to her as he hauled her up to her feet and forced her to watch as the rest of the Claimers drug out a bloody Carl and began taking turns kicking and punching him. She tried to fight against Joe so she didn't have to watch someone she loved get beat to death but he held her face in place so she couldn't turn away._

_Alana looked over at Rick who was struggling against the chains that left him dangling helplessly above his son who was crying and screaming out in pain. "I'm sorry, Rick." She whispered to him as he locked gazes with her and looked at her with a pleadingness in his eyes but there was nothing she could do with Joe holding her still and the chains tethering her to the ground. She thrashed and struggled against Joe trying to give herself at least some leverage but the next thing she knew everything was black again._

Alana woke up abruptly from her nightmare and ended up knocking her head hard into Daryl's who was peacefully looking out the window when she spazed out. "What the fuck is up with you?" Daryl growled at her as she shook her head and huffed angrily at herself as she felt tears rolling down her cheeks. Daryl looked down at her and saw the glint of her tears on her face which made him furrow his eyebrows at her. "Just a dream, Twinkle Toes. Just a dream." Daryl softly said to her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and brought her into his chest. But Daryl was wrong, it wasn't just a dream. It was Alana's worst nightmare.

* * *

"Carl? Carl. Carl?" Rick called out as he entered the quarantined wing of the prison with duffel bag draped over his shoulder and garbage bags full of supplies in his hands. He stopped his movements and dropped the garbage bags at his feet. He didn't walk that far into the hallway because he could very well be infected and that would expose the rest of the unexposed people to the virus that was spreading rampant through their halls. Carl came running around the corner and looked right at his dad's face and could tell something was off. "You okay?" Carl asked Rick which caused the older man to chuckle and shake his head. "I was gonna ask you that." Rick explained to Carl as he took a few steps back from his son making sure that there was plenty of space between the two of them. Carl assured him that they were all fine to which Rick nodded his head. "No one's sick? You didn't have to do anything?" Rick asked Carl. Carl knew what his father was really asking,  _have you had to shoot anyone?_  Though his father didn't come right out and say it, Carl put two and two together. "Haven't had to use my gun, Dad." Carl replied and Rick asked him about Judith who was happily with Beth. When Carl told Rick that Judith was safe, Rick sighed in relief and felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Good. Found some food on the run. There's a bunch of fruit leather in there. Have everyone brush their teeth after." Rick told Carl as he slid the duffel bag towards Carl and went to walk out of the quarantine area but was stopped when Carl's voice rang out. "Can we come out soon?" He asked his father who was torn. He didn't like having to keep all those kids and elderly cooped up but it was for their own good. He shook his head at Carl to which Carl replied with a very good point. "Dad, I was around you when you were in the middle of it. And I was around Patrick. I didn't get it. I can help you." Yeah, Carl could be a value to the group in that sense but Rick didn't need to be worried about him and Alana, he already had enough to worry about with Alana outside the walls of the prison. "Thanks, but I need you to stay here." Rick said sternly as he tried once again to walk out but was stopped by Carl's reply. "I will, but, Dad, you can't keep me from it." This made Rick tilt his head in confusion. What exactly was Carl referring to? "From what?" Rick asked his son who gave Rick a look like he should know exactly what he was talking about. "From what always happens." Carl replied. The realization hit Rick like a ton of bricks. His son was trying to tell him that he couldn't always protect him, Judith, or even Alana. Carl was trying to tell Rick to let go and stop holding himself responsible for everyone. Rick didn't know if he could do that. "Yeah. Maybe. But I think it's my job to try." Rick told Carl as he walked out of the quarantined wing of the prison.

* * *

Hershel hobbled his way up the steps in block A and when he reached the top of the staircase, he saw Glenn sitting in Henry's cell squeezing the pump that was working as an artificial lung for the man. The two of them shared a look and Hershel nodded gratefully at Glenn thanking him for all the help he had provided Hershel with. Hershel moved his way down the cell block til he reached Dr. Subramanian, Caleb's cell which he entered despite Caleb's protest. "Let's have a look at you. Doctors make the worst patients." Hershel joked with Caleb though the words were true. Doctors did make the worst patients because they thought they knew exactly what was wrong with themselves. Hershel knelt down on one knee to get a better look at Caleb but every time that Hershel tried to look over him, Caleb moved in the opposite direction. "Not everyone gets to live. End stage is a point that no one comes back from or they- or they can't. That's where I am," Caleb began wheezing, trying to get Hershel to leave him be and look after the others. Hershel tried to place a hand on his shoulder but Caleb immediately shrugged him off. "No, you need to focus on the ones that can make it. I made some more IVs. If you're not ready to lose one, you're gonna lose them all. It's like turning off a light- it'll happen one after the other. And they don't just die."

"We can hold on." Hershel replied to the younger man but he just shook his head and moved off of his bed to sit on the ground. He pulled out a gun case from underneath his cot revealing to Hershel a sawed off shotgun. "After what happened in the other cell block, when I came in here, I brought these." Caleb told Hershel but the older man immediately rebuked him. "Get back in bed now. We're not that bad off." Hershel said to Caleb as he pulled himself back up onto his cot with labored breath as if he had just run a mile. "When we are, it'll be too late. You don't understand. You have a chance. This is it after this." Caleb tried to reason with Hershel but he wasn't listening. "I'm not giving up on anyone. Not yet." Hershel sternly said to him as Caleb shook his head in frustration.

"Just make sure everyone's doors are shut." Caleb said with a break between each word because of how labored and heavy his breathing was, just talking was hurting him immensely. "Caleb…" Hershel began to say as he moved closer to the sick man but was quickly interrupted by Caleb's shouting. "Just make sure!" After the loud outburst, Caleb fell into a fit of coughs where he sounded like he was about to hack up a lung. Blood dripped from his lips and pooled at his feet. "Caleb, you've got to let me look at you." Hershel instructed the young man as he caught the sick man's chin in his grip and brought the lantern up to lighten his face so that Hershel could get a good look at him. What Hershel saw wasn't good. Blood was beginning to leak from the corners of Caleb's eyes and the seams of his lips were dripping. He was beyond the point of recovery. "Okay, Hershel. Have a look." Caleb told the older man, knowing exactly how bad off he was.

Hershel was making his final rounds around the cell block when his first patient died. He had just finished closing all of the cells and reminding everyone to drink the tea that he had made for all of them when a man came stumbling out of his cell, coughing and puking up blood everywhere. He made it a few steps before he crashed to the ground with his full weight. Dead weight. Hershel moved to his side and watched as the man took his last breath. It was just instinct that made Hershel grab his knife to stop the man from reanimating but he paused for just a second and noticed that everyone was watching him. "Everyone, get back in your cells. Go on, get back in your cells." Hershel commanded them as Sasha walked up to him with a gurney to place the now dead man on. "Let's get him on this." Sasha wheezed out at Hershel as the older man nodded at her and they worked together to get him atop the gurney. Hershel then spread the white sheet across the man and nodded his head thankfully at Sasha. "Go rest. Can you make it to your cell?" Hershel asked Sasha as she nodded her head and made her way to her cell.

Hershel pushed the gurney into one of the visitation rooms with the glass between the rooms and moved it into the middle of the room before he shut the door behind him. His gaze fell to the man lying dead before him and a shiver went down his spine as he drug his eyes over the man's body. Hershel knew that the image of this man's blood streaked face would forever be ingrained into his brain. Tracks of bloody tears trailed down the man's face across his chin and seeped downward trekking along his throat. Blood had dried from where it had been trickling out of his ears and created rust colored trails across the back of his neck and through his hair. Hershel grabbed the knife he had attached to his belt and brought his hands above his head to plunge the knife into the dead man's skull but something stopped Hershel. Maybe it was the man staring up at him which would make make sense or maybe it was because Hershel wasn't a killer though he technically wasn't killing this man. He was already dead. He was just ending this man's reanimation before it started. Hershel dragged the white sheet so that it covered the man's face and raised his hands above his head before plunging the knife into the man's skull.

Hershel jumped when he heard Rick's voice sound out from behind him on the other side of the window looking into the room he was standing in. "Third one we've lost," Hershel explained to Rick as he wiped his blade clean and pulled the little pocket bible from his pants pocket. "We're burning them behind the blocks," Hershel shook his head at his own words barely being able to believe what has been forced upon them. "Burning them. That's what it's come to."

Rick took a step closer to the window and observed Hershel, checking him over. "Are you okay?" Rick asked the older man who just ignored his question. "I talked to him yesterday about Steinbeck. He told me a quote. 'A sad soul can kill quicker than a germ.'" Hershel told Rick as he squeezed his fist in frustration. "That's exactly why I didn't want them all to see what happens. I know they know, but I didn't want them to see it right now." Hershel didn't want them to lose hope and the moment they watch one of their own die from this disease pretty much all of that hope they've had so far is gone. "They're seeing you, Hershel. They see you keep going," Rick reassured the man, channeling his inner Alana who seemed to know exactly what to say at exactly the right time. Hershel kept Rick's hope alive. "Even after all the choices keep getting taken away. When we get past this thing... it's not gonna be like how it was, is it?" Rick wanted to believe that after all this, they'd be able to move past it but somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that there was no moving past something like this. Hershel shook his head at the former deputy with an utterly defeated expression on his face. "Was that denial? Not seeing things for how they were?" Rick asked referring to his time spent away from the leadership position. He was asking if he had been blind the whole time and oblivious to the deadly thing forming in his own home.

"No. You just caught a break. You needed some time. You got some. You got lucky. We all did," Hershel replied as he looked back down at the man he had just stabbed in the head. Hershel still was at least partially optimistic about everything. "I still think there's a plan. I still believe there's a reason." He told Rick as the former deputy furrowed his eyebrows at him in confusion. "You think it's all a test?" Rick asked tentatively not knowing if he really wanted Hershel's answer. "Life was always a test, Rick." Hershel replied confidently as Rick stared at the man trying to somehow draw some of this man's confidence to add to his own. Rick looked down at his hands before he spoke after a few minutes of silence. "I need to talk to you about Carol."

* * *

As Hershel headed back into the cellblock, the first thing he noticed was Sasha lying on the ground passed out outside her cell. He hobbled over to her as quickly as he could to her side and moved her so that she was laying on her side and not flat on her back. "Come on. Come on, Sasha. You know how to fight. Just hold on. Just hold on. Don't give up on me now." Hershel said to Sasha as he hooked her up to an IV but was too busy worrying about her to notice the sound of the woman in the next cell over falling off her cot and reanimating.

* * *

The Walkers sounded like a disorganized school children choir to Rick's ears as he and Maggie braced the part of the fence where all the Walkers were huddling up with wood logs. The Walkers tried to reach in and grab ahold of any loose piece of clothing but Rick kept just enough distance from the fence that all they grabbed at was thin air. "I just talked to your dad. He looks good, all things considered." Rick said to Maggie as they checked over the rest of the logs that they had braced up against the fence. Maggie paused for a minute and turned back to face Rick as he pushed the log further so that it was locked into place. "If Alana or Carl were sick, would you be in there with them?" She asked him. It was an obvious answer in all honesty. Of course, he'd want to be in there with them but he knew that he was of more use out here keeping the place going. There would be no point in staying with them if they would just end up getting overrun by Walkers.

"If I thought I could help." Rick cautiously replied knowing exactly why Maggie was asking him that question. _Glenn._  She was worried about Glenn and her father but she felt like she wasn't being useful enough out here with the hoard of Walkers. "You don't think I can help?" Maggie asked him as he unconsciously moved towards the fence and fell to the ground when a Walker managed to grab ahold of his ankle and pull him down. Maggie acted quickly and swiftly chopped the Walker's wrist clean off in one swing of her hatchet. Rick looked up at her in awe and gratefully took her hand when she outstretched it to him. "Damn. I'm just glad you're out here with me." He remarked as she shook her head at him and walked back towards the courtyard.

* * *

Hershel sat beside Sasha with her IV bag in his hands as she slowly began to wake up. "Welcome back." Hershel said softly to her as she looked around at her surroundings confused for a moment as to where she was. "I passed out?" She asked through labored breaths. "You were dehydrated. Being a hero takes a lot out of you." Hershel joked as he smiled down at her. "You should know. I thought you were an idiot to come in here. I mean, I was sure you were just gonna be a dead foolish man." Sasha said halfheartedly out of exhaustion to which Hershel raised an eyebrow at, trying to figure out what exactly Sasha meant by that. "I can't tell if that's a compliment." Hershel smiled as Sasha just looked up at him with a blank, exhausted expression. Her eyes were half open and heavy lidded. "I don't know what I'm saying. I must have hit my head. I don't believe in magic or luck. I do the math and I don't gamble. But I don't know if I'd be here right now if you weren't so damn stupid." Sasha wheezed out at Hershel as he tried to make sense of the nonsense she was spewing out.

"You know what? I'm gonna take that as a compliment." Hershel said as Sasha rolled her eyes at the older man.

* * *

Hershel made one last round around the cells after he had made sure that Sasha was safe but that was when everything spiraled out of control. "I'll check on you in a little while," Hershel said as he closed the cell door on the older man to ensure his safety and the safety of the others in the cell block. Hershel moved down the cells until he reached one where his patient was lying down on the cot with his back to him and the patient's brother was standing over him protectively. "How is he?" Hershel asked cautiously as the man moved himself between the doorway and Hershel, blocking the older man from even looking at his sick patient. "He's sleeping." The man said as Hershel tried to get a look at the teenager sleeping on the cot but the man kept blocking his view. "You should get some rest yourself." Hershel told him in hopes of getting the man out of his way so he could check on the teen but the man refused to leave and proceeded to shut the cell door on him.

Lizzie's frighten screams caught Hershel's attention as they echoed from where he had last seen Glenn but as Hershel tried to make his way up to her, a Walker sauntered out of one of the open cells and went straight for Hershel, taking the older man straight to the ground. As Hershel struggled against the Walker, he shouted for everyone to stay in their cells away from the danger but the man who had refused to let him look at his brother walked out of his cell with a pistol raised. A blonde haired woman threw the Walker off of Hershel and the man aimed at said Walker only to shoot the blonde after his brother came out of his cell as a Walker and took a chunk out of his arm.

* * *

Rick and Maggie were standing in the middle of the yard when they heard a gunshot ring out from inside the prison. Rick looked over at Maggie who only looked towards the prison for a split second before she went back to chopping at the logs. "Go." Rick told her as she glanced over at him and shook her head. "The fence is more important. We need to keep it standing." Maggie replied but Rick could see in her eyes that she was itching to go help. He knew that she needed to go help. "I got this." He told her as she dropped the hatchet and turned herself so she was looking him right in the face. "You can't do this alone." Maggie said to Rick as she waited for confirmation that he wanted her to go to them. "I know. Go." Rick nodded at her as she took off running towards the prison.

* * *

Another gunshot rang out and imbedded itself somewhere within the walls of the cellblock as the Walker bit further down onto the man's neck. Hershel pulled himself up onto his feet as he took in all that surrounded him. "Just follow me, Henry. Down here, away from Glenn." Hershel heard Lizzie say as she lead the Walker away from the incapacitated Glenn. "Come on, come on, Henry. Here we go." Everything seemed to be slipping out of Hershel's fingers and he was left standing in a corner not knowing what to do.

"Come on. Down here, Henry. Keep following me. Come here. A little further. Henry, come on-" Lizzie screamed as she tripped onto her back and Henry fell down on top of her. Hershel moved the fastest he ever had up those stairs to save Lizzie. Once he reached her, he threw Henry off of her and onto the metal netting that was hanging along the railing. "You okay?" Hershel asked Lizzie as he helped her up and looked her over making sure she didn't get bit or scratched. "I called him nice. He didn't scratch Glenn. I thought maybe he listens." Lizzie told him as Hershel watched her expression to see if she had been hurt in any other way. "Lizzie, where's Glenn?" Hershel asked her as she pointed down to the cell that he had last seen Glenn in and Hershel could see Glenn halfway out of the cell lying in a pile of blood and spit.

* * *

"Think they're okay?" Carl asked Rick as they lined more logs against the fence in the hopes of keeping it standing up and the Walkers out. "If things were going bad, we would have heard more shots. Maggie would have gotten us. We have to do this." Rick replied to Carl as he grabbed another log and went to put it up against the fence. Carl moved to help his father and positioned the log up against the fence but their attention turned when one log snapped in half from the weight of the Walkers. Rick ran to keep the fence from parting open but there was no saving that. The Walkers began to spill in and all Rick could do was yell for Carl to run. Rick shoved Walkers away from Carl as the two of them ran for the sentry tower. As Rick shoulder checked the last Walker that had been trailing after Carl, he fell to the ground and Carl ran to his father to pull him to his feet and get the two of them inside the tower. Once they were in the tower, Rick slammed the door shut and the two of them made their way out into the courtyard.

They then turned and looked at the hoard of Walkers piled up against the only fence keeping them from pouring into the courtyard. "Dad, what do we do?" Carl looked to his father for orders and guidance. Rick's mind was going a hundred miles an hour trying to figure out a way to get his son away from the danger that threatened to break through in front of them. "Maybe I could back the bus up against the fence." He voiced out loud as Carl questioned if that would even hold and Rick was left with no choice but to stand their ground and fight off the Walkers that they could. "Come on." Rick told his son as the two of them ran towards where they kept the guns in old laundry baskets.

Rick handed Carl two magazines of ammo and instructed him to place them in his pockets. He then picked up an M16 and handed it to Carl before grabbing one for himself. He handed Carl one last clip before he moved back towards where the Walkers were pushing against the fence. "Magazine goes in here. Release is here. Make sure it latches. Pull back the operating rod and rounds feed up. Keep squeezing the trigger for rapid fire, okay?" Rick told Carl as they readied their guns and he stopped Carl beside him looking him in the eyes. "You shoot or you run. Don't let 'em get close, okay?" Carl nodded at his father as the fence broke giving way for the Walkers to pour on in.

Carl and Rick both raised their M16s and began to fire at the Walkers with much accuracy only occasionally hitting a Walker in it's shoulder. They worked together like a well oiled machine. As they thinned out the hoard, Rick yelled for them to back off and reload another clip into their guns. A Walker had managed to get close enough to Rick that he had to hit it with the butt of his rifle which caused the Walker to fall to the ground where Carl swiftly shot it in the head. Carl then tossed his father his clip and went straight back into the fight. Rick took a moment and watched his son as he fired off rounds at the Walkers and it was in that moment where Rick realized just how much his son was helping. Alana would be proud of the epiphany he just had. His son wanted to help and Rick wasn't going to stop him anymore.

* * *

Alana saw the huge tear in the fence as they pulled up to the prison and her mind went to the worst case scenario. She immediately turned her gaze to Daryl who had the same look on his face. Her hand drifted to the knife holstered to her belt and she just stared out as Tyreese opened the gate to the prison and Michonne pulled through. When she saw Carl running towards them, she let out a breath of relief. The sight of Rick alive and well made her shoot up from her spot in the van and she threw her door open as the van still was moving. She jumped out of the van and ran straight towards Rick who met her with open arms. She threw herself into him and her hands immediately went straight into his hair, holding him close to her body. Tyreese was the first of the group to get out of the van and he immediately asked where Sasha was and how she was doing but Rick didn't have anything to offer him so he raced inside towards the cellblock that his sister had been in when he left. Daryl exchanged a nod with Rick as he cradled Alana in his arms. He was just happy that his family was safe. Alana was back in his arms and the rest of his family wasn't in danger anymore.

Rick took Alana's face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers in a soul-wrenching kiss. He kept kissing her until he had no more breath in his lungs and then he laid his forehead against hers, staring into her eyes. "I'm not letting you out of my sight ever again." He told her as she smiled up at him and placed a gentle kiss on the bridge of his nose. "Right back at ya, Sheriff." Alana replied as the two broke apart and moved to help bring in the rest of the medicine to Hershel. Alana watched Rick's back as he walked ahead of her and in that moment, she realized something. "I love you, Rick Grimes." She whispered to herself as she smiled softly with this new found love in her heart. She knew it for certain, she loved Rick Grimes.

* * *

**Hey, guys! I'm back and I hope you guys like this chapter! I don't have any idea why it was so hard to write but here it is! I hope to upload maybe every two weeks depending on how college is treating me! but I am super excited to write the mid-season finale and season 5! I am excited for Grady and all that stuff. The season finale of season 4 will be awesome in this story! Plus the Claimers are coming soon! Who wants to see Alana kick all their asses! Whooo! I hope to have the next chapter up within the next two weeks! I'll put up a little preview of the chapter up too like I have been doing! Leave me a review of what you think of the story or what you think will happen with this story! I would love to hear your theories! Thank you for reading and I hope that you will stick with me through this journey!**

**Until next chapter!**


	8. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mid season finale for season four! Craziness will happen!

The Road

Rick took Alana’s face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers in a soul-wrenching kiss. He kept kissing her until he had no more breath in his lungs and then he laid his forehead against hers, staring into her eyes. “I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again.” He told her as she smiled up at him and placed a gentle kiss on the bridge of his nose. “Right back at ya, Sheriff.” Alana replied as the two broke apart and moved to help bring in the rest of the medicine to Hershel. Alana watched Rick’s back as he walked ahead of her and in that moment, she realized something. “I love you, Rick Grimes.” She whispered to herself as she smiled softly with this new found love in her heart. She knew it for certain, she loved Rick Grimes.

Chapter | Six

Alana could feel every single wound that she had sustained not twenty four hours earlier. She could feel the blood leaking from the laceration above her right eyebrow and the pulsing black eye that surrounded that right eye. Her cheek swelled where her blood vessels had popped creating a nasty looking bruise that covered almost half of her face. Her side throbbed with pain from a few broken ribs or what she assumed was a few broken ribs. The wound that hurt the most was the burning she felt from the bullet that was lodged in her upper thigh. Thank God it had missed any major arteries but that didn’t stop it from soaking her pants leg with sticky blood. Rick was far worse off than she was but still he had forced her to put her arm around his shoulder so that he could support her with the whole wound to her leg she couldn’t really walk. She was a porcelain doll compared to Rick. He was barely recognizable, all puffy and swollen from the beating her had taken. He too had a limp in his left leg from a bullet wound like Alana but he was able to play off the pain a whole lot more than she could.

Carl was walking a ways ahead of them along the railroad tracks. He hadn’t spoken to either of them since the fall of the prison and that worried both Rick and Alana. “Carl,” Rick spoke half heartedly. The name only coming out as a soft rasp from his throat. “Carl, Carl.” Alana placed her hand gently across Rick’s left pectoral muscle and tried to get him to stop straining himself but he didn’t stop. He moved the two of them so that they were hobbling next to the young man and Rick reached his hand out stopping the teenage boy. “We need to stick together.” Rick strained his voice as he spoke. Carl just shrugged his father’s hand off his shoulder and kept moving ahead of the two wounded members of the trio. Rick stopped for a moment staring at his solemn son and remembering exactly all they had lost. Judith, their home, who knows if they’d ever see any of their loved ones again. Alana moved in front of Rick and cradled his face gently in her hands. “Give him time.” She whispered to him as she grabbed ahold of his unbroken hand and pulled him along with her. They would all get through this together. They had to.

*****

Alana watched from the sidelines as Rick told Daryl about his decision to leave Carol behind. She wasn’t scared of how Daryl would react but she didn’t want to be on the front line as it happened. Daryl was a wild card when he was mad. She didn’t think he’d hurt her but he liked to use hateful words when mad at least from her experience of making him mad. "Man, you couldn't have waited till we got back?" Daryl growled, yes growled, at Rick as he glared at the bearded man who looked back at Alana for some assistance. “Daryl, she said that she killed Karen and David, what would Tyreese do if he found out Rick let their killer come back into our home?” Alana reluctantly said to Daryl who turned his heated glare at the blonde who stood her ground and sent the same look back at him. She wasn’t having this shit. They had survived hell and she just wanted a day that went well without any trouble.

"I could've handled him." Daryl replied to Alana’s question as Rick ran his hand over his face. "Hey. Hey.” Rick began to say to Daryl as the messy brown-haired man paced back and forth along the cells before Alana moved forward placing her hands on his shoulders forcing the reluctant man to look at her Sheriff. “She killed two of our own. She couldn't be here. She's gonna be all right. She has a car, supplies, weapons. She's a survivor." Admittedly Rick wasn’t sounding convincing at all which is exactly why Alana turned her head back and glared at the man. "Stop saying that like you don't believe it." Daryl gritted through his teeth as Alana held him back from approaching Rick. She even made a point to poke Daryl in the side to catch him off guard and to get his attention on her so that his anger wasn’t fully directed at Rick. "She did it. She said it was for us. That's how it was in her head. She wasn't sorry." Rick explained to Daryl who shook his head angrily and moved away from Alana running his hands through his dirty hair. "Man, that's her but that ain't her,” Daryl retorted as Alana nodded her head at his words. They honestly made sense. That was her but it was hard to believe that she’d do something like that to their own. “What are we supposed to do about those two girls?" Alana looked back at Rick who gave both of them a solemn look. Those two girls looked  up to Carol. There was no telling how they would take the news.

"I told her we'd look after them. I haven't told Tyreese yet. I don't know how he's gonna take it." Rick said as Alana moved to his side and slipped her fingers between his gripping them tightly letting him know that she was with him through this. "Let's go find out." Daryl told the two of them as Alana smiled at Daryl and followed behind the hunter with Rick by her side.

*****

"Tyreese. You down here?" Rick called out as the three of them wandered down into the tombs not really knowing what they’d find down there. Alana had strapped herself with the machete Rick had given her and her pistol because you couldn’t be too cautious. Not that she thought Daryl or Rick would let anything happen to her, she still didn’t fully trust Tyreese. "Rick? That you? You guys got to see this." Alana really didn’t like the sound of that at all. "Can we take a beat? There's something we need to talk about." Rick tried to get Tyreese to listen to him but the man was dead set on something. Alana wasn’t sure she wanted to know what Tyreese wanted to show them. "It can wait. Come on. Look." Tyreese replied as he took off down another hallway, forcing the three of them to follow him only to find what he wanted to show them. A dissected rat pinned to a board like a science experiment. “What the fuck?” Alana said as she peered down at the tortured creature to get a closer look at it.

"I was just looking for... answers... and I found this. Same person that killed Karen and David did this. Remember the rats at the fence? They showed up the same day she was killed. We got a psychopath living with us," Tyreese ranted as Rick tried to interrupt him so that he could explain to him what happened with Carol but the man wasn’t shutting up. "We got to find him, Rick. And I'm not gonna sleep until we do." Alana couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the man. He wasn’t thinking straight at all. He wasn’t any good to them sleep deprived. He certainly wasn’t any help to Sasha dead which was what he was likely gonna become with the way he was going.

"Tyreese... whoever did this, I don't think that's who killed Karen." Rick told Tyreese as the man raised his eyebrows at the bearded man not understanding what he was trying to say. Tyreese didn’t even get to ask what was going on because a loud explosion sounded out above them and they all took off running to see what the fuck had just happened.

*****

"Get back!" Rick yelled as he, Alana, Daryl and Tyreese ran into the courtyard and moved towards the fence that separated them from the actual yard. That’s when they saw the source of the explosion. A FUCKING TANK. "Rick! Come down here. We need to talk." The man standing on top of the tank yelled as Alana looked to Rick for answers. Who the fucking hell was this man?  "It's not up to me. There's a council now. They run this place." Alana could see that Rick wasn’t taking this well, whoever this man was had done something to Rick in the past and Alana intended to make him pay for whatever that was. "Is Hershel on the council?” The man asked as he signaled to someone in the SUV next to him and Hershel was brought out of the back of the car with his hands ziptied around his back. Alana saw the two Greene girls gasp at the sight of their father down there. She could only imagine what was going through their heads at that moment. “What about Michonne? She on the council, too?" Alana watched as Michonne was reluctantly dragged out of the SUV Hershel had been taken out of and was forced to kneel down in front of the tank right next to Hershel. "I don't make decisions anymore." Rick called out, his voice straining in fear. Alana knew that sound he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to reason with this man. He was afraid that his friends would wind up dead because of him. "You're making the decisions today, Rick. Come down here. Let's have that talk." The man said as Rick looked over at Alana who nodded her head at him. She knew he had to do this. She knew that it had to be done. That didn’t mean she liked it. Hell, she’d find a way to sneak down there to give Rick some back up.

“Come back to me,” Alana whispered to him as she wrapped her arms around him, holding onto him tight. “I love you, Rick Grimes.” Rick pulled back from her and looked her in the eyes. He leaned his head down and pressed a kiss to her lips. “I love you, Alana Salem.” He replied as he pushed the gate open and walked into the belly of the beast. You better fucking come back to me, Rick Grimes.

******

Alana moved right up against the gate Rick had walked out of and gripped the fence in her hands to the point where her hands were turning white. She wasn’t listening as Daryl spoke softly to the rest of the group. She was too busy trying to hear what was going on with Rick. "Let 'em go right now. I'll stay down here. Talk as long as you want. But you let 'em go. You got a tank. You don't need hostages." Alana heard Rick plead with the man standing on the tank as he laughed at Rick’s request. This man was fucking crazy. Alana knew that there would be no reasoning with him. Whatever this man was requesting they would have to do. Or they would die trying to fight him. "I do. This is just to show you I'm serious.” The man began to say as Daryl slowly passed out guns to each of the prison members. “Not to blast a hole in our new home. You and your people, you have till sundown to get out of here or they die." At the man’s word, Alana turned back towards Daryl who she found was right behind her trying to hand her a double barrel rifle. “Who is that man?” She asked him as she took the rifle from his hand and leaned closer to him so that he could tell her. “The Governor.” He said as she quickly looked back to where Rick was standing as he tried to reason with this mad man.

"Doesn't have to go down this way." Rick told him as the Governor shook his head at Rick and looked down at him like he was a child. Alana knew that this could only end one way. Either Rick or the Governor needed to die. Alana was gonna make sure that it was the Governor that died. She slipped through the space between the gate and the fence and made her way down to the turned over bus despite the protest of Daryl. She leaned against the forgotten vehicle and listened closely to what was happening. "I got more people, more firepower. We need this prison. There it is. It's not about the past. It's about right now." The Governor said as if packing up and leaving their home should be the easiest thing they had ever done. They had sick people who wouldn’t be able to make the journey to another safe haven. They had kids who didn’t need to see what was outside those walls. They needed their innocence. "There are children here. Some of them are sick. They won't survive.” Rick was pleading with him and Alana could hear the fear in his voice. She wanted to make her presence known to him but that would put them both in danger, and would put Hershel and Michonne at risk. "I have a tank. And I'm letting you walk away from here. What else is there to talk about?" Alana was getting very angry at each word that fell from the Governor’s mouth.

Alana looked out at all the firepower that the Governor had. In all honesty, the only thing he really had above them was that he had two of their important people hostage and he had a fucking huge tank. Most of the people who were standing by his side didn’t look like soldiers at all. They looked like people who had been forced to stand alongside this man with no choice other than die like cowards. Alana took the double barrelled rifle from where it hung from the strap over her shoulder and looked closer at the people through the scope. One girl in particular caught her eye. She was young about the same age as Alana and the way that she held the machine gun in her hands showed Alana that she was genuinely afraid. Alana knew that if Rick wanted to get through to those people he’d have to start with those who doubted the Governor. She didn’t know if he could figure that out himself so that is why she set her rifle down against the overturned bus and slowly walked out from behind it with her hands up. Every single gun was then pointed in her direction and she had to fight herself from smirking at how jumpy all these people were.

“Alana, what are you doing?” Rick asked her as he moved towards her and placed one of his hands against her hip. Alana watched the Governor over Rick’s shoulder and knew he had to have noticed how Rick had reacted to the sight of her. He was eying her up and she didn’t like how his eyes travelled down her body like she was this piece of meat to be torn apart. “You don’t have to do this alone, Rick.” She whispered to him as she squeezed his hand and turned towards the Governor who was still having a look over of her body. "I could shoot you all. You'd all shoot back. I know that. But we'll win and you'll be dead. All of you,” The Governor was talking to Alana when he spoke as if he was trying to scare her which she knew he was trying to do but she wasn’t scared of him. She had faced worse people than this man. “Doesn't have to be like that. Like I said, it's your choice. Noise will only draw more of them over. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to get out of here." As he said those words, a Walker made its way up towards the tank and every member of his group looked at him like they had no fucking clue how to take care of a Walker. The Governor then stepped down from where he stood on the tank and shot the Walker clean in between it's eyes. It crumbled to the ground in a heap and the Governor climbed back up onto the tank like nothing had happened.

"You got maybe about an hour of sunlight left. I suggest you start packing. The longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be for you to get out of here." The Governor said as he stared at Rick trying to basically scare him. Rick looked down at Hershel and Alana knew what the older man was trying to tell Rick. They could share the prison. Live in separate sections of the prison. Rick then looked at Alana and she nodded her head at him. She knew that it was a long shot but it was worth trying. "We can all-- we can all live together. There's enough room for all of us." Rick stuttered not liking the idea of living under the same roof as the Governor but willing to do anything if it meant that they would live through this. "More than enough. But I don't think my family would sleep well knowing that you were under the same roof." Alana wanted to laugh at his words “my family”, those people weren’t a family. They were weapons to this man. They were expendable. "We'd live in different cell blocks. We'd never have to see each other till we're all ready." Rick tried to plead with the Governor, not wanting anymore of his people to die especially the woman next to him. Hershel smiled at Rick’s words and the fact that he had been listening to him. "It could work. You know it could." Hershel said to the Governor as he looked down at the white-haired man and Alana knew that this man wouldn’t be able to be reasoned with especially if Hershel couldn’t reason with him. "It could've. But it can't. Not after Woodbury. Not after Andrea." Then the Governor spoke these words and Alana lost her shit. She knew all about Andrea and what had happened to her. About how this man had tortured her after she tried to leave. “That’s fucking bullshit and you know it! You killed her! They had nothing to do with that!” Alana yelled as she moved closer to the fence only to be stopped by Rick’s arms around her waist.

"Look I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. Fact is, it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder than standing here shooting at each other. But I don't think we have a choice." Rick said as he held Alana back from climbing over that fence and beating the living shit out of the Governor. Alana knew exactly why those people were following him. He had given them some bullshit story about how Rick was the bad guy who had attacked him and his people. They thought that this was the only way to do this but there was another way. Though Alana knew that the Governor would have to be dead for the other way to even work. "We don't. You do." The Governor replied to Rick. Alana could feel the frustration growing inside Rick and she reached for his hand. She moved right next to him and made eye contact with the girl who looked so out of place holding a machine gun. "We're not leaving. You try and force us, we'll fight back. Like you said, the gunshots will just bring more of them out. They'll take down the fences. Without the fences, this place is worthless. Now, we can all live in the prison or none of us can." Rick sternly said. They would fight back, hard and a lot of people would die but if there was a fight neither of the groups would get the prison. It would belong to the undead. Alana could tell that Rick was starting to get through to some of the people but he needed to pick out the weakest or those that were on the verge of defecting and Alana could tell that the girl in the ponytails was on the brink of defecting. "We'll fix the damn fences." The Governor told his people. Alana knew that he could tell too that Rick was getting through to his own people and he was gonna take some drastic measures to make sure that that didn’t happen.

Alana leaned towards Rick’s ear and whispered, “The girl in the  ponytails.” Rick knew what she was trying to tell him. "You. You in the ponytails. Is this what you want? Is this what any of you want?" Rick addressed the girl with the ponytails but was quickly interrupted by the asshole who was still partially inside the tank. "What we want is what you got. Period. Time for you to leave, asshole." The guy said as Alana glared at him. What gave them the right to take this place from them? What made them more deserving of this place? The Governor got down from the tank and signaled to one of his men who brought out Michonne’s katana. He pulled out the katana and walked over next to Hershel placing the katana right next Hershel’s neck. "Look, I fought him before. And after, we took in his old friends. They've become leaders in what we have here. Now you put down your weapons, walk through those gates... you're one of us. We let go of all of it, and nobody dies. Everyone who's alive right now. Everyone who's made it this far. We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive. But we can still come back. We're not too far gone. We get to come back. I know... we all can change." Rick tried to make a dent in the image that these people had of him. He wanted everyone to live but he hadn’t thought of what happened next. “Liar,” The Governor whispered as he brought back the katana and swung it straight into Hershel’s neck. Alana gasped as she watched the blood spurt out of his neck and she didn’t even realize she had pulled out her gun until it went off in her head. The bullet hit the Governor in the leg and another hit him in the shoulder. Alana could hear Rick screaming behind her and a gunshot rang out behind her. The next thing she knew, there was a searing pain radiating from her upper thigh and she felt herself being pulled out of the lines of fire. Rick cried out as he threw Alana behind the overturned bus and Alana saw the bullet that went straight through his upper leg.

Alana pulled Rick further behind the overturned bus and quickly moved to try to look at his wound but he wouldn’t let her. “You need to stay hidden.” He told her as everything turned to chaos around them. “I’m not letting you do this on your own, Rick!” She yelled as he handed her the double barreled rifle she had left leaning against the bus and looked over his shoulder to see where the Governor’s group was exactly. “If you think I’m just gonna stay here as you guys get slaughtered, you have another thing coming, Rick Grimes.” She told him as she stood up shakily on her legs which caused pain to shoot up her body. She watched as the tank moved up towards the prison gates along with all the other vehicles. Alana raised the rifle in her hands and began to pick off stragglers who ran behind the vehicles until the rifle was yanked from her and a hard blow landed on the right side of her face. “Alana!” Rick yelled as she shook her head trying to regain her vision but then felt a hand wrap itself around her neck cutting off the air to her lungs. There stood the fucking Governor with his fucking eyepatch trying to choke the life out of her. Alana hit the ground hard when Rick got up and tackled the Governor to save Alana.

Alana watched as Rick landed heavy punches against the Governor almost causing the man’s eyepatch to fall off. “Find Daryl, Alana! Stick with him!” Rick yelled as the Governor hit him straight on the left side of his jaw causing Rick to stagger back from where he had been standing over the other man. “I’m not fucking leaving you!” She yelled back at him as she got back up and jumped back when the Governor got up and threw Rick against the bus. Alana immediately latched onto the Governor’s back in attempt to get him off Rick only to get the man’s elbow in her face causing the skin above her eyebrow to split open. Alana cringed at the searing pain that pulsed through her head and stumbled backwards. She reached down and grabbed the rifle the Governor had thrown from her hands, aiming it at his back but she didn’t fire off a shot because she didn’t want to risk hitting Rick with the bullet. Instead she turned the rifle around in her hands and swung the butt of the rifle at the Governor causing him to fall down to the ground.

She raised her rifle up in her hands ready to pull the trigger but Rick stopped her. “Let me have this. Go help the others.” He told her as she looked at him with the most confused look on her face. She knew that this man had done bad things to his people but she could end it right here and now. She stared at Rick for a moment before nodding her head at him. She’d let him have this one. She grabbed his face in her hands and planted a hard kiss on his lips before she shoved him away from herself. “You better come back alive, you motherfucker.” She growled at him as he turned his attention back to the Governor who seemed to have been momentarily knocked out by the blow Alana had given him to his head.

As much as it pained Alana to leave Rick, she knew that she wouldn’t be any use to him there. She turned her attention to the courtyard where all the chaos and carnage was happening. The one thing that really stood out to Alana was the girl with the ponytails cowering behind the tank, seemingly oblivious to everything that was going on around her. The girl didn’t see the Walker walking towards her. Alana raised her rifle up and quickly shot the Walker in the back of its head. The girl jumped at the sound of her rifle going off and raised her small pistol at Alana, which made her look so unthreatening with how her hands were shaking. Alana moved towards the girl and slung the rifle over her shoulder, raising her hands up in surrender or more like she was trying to make sure that she didn’t feel threatened by Alana moving towards her. “Hey, what’s your name?” Alana asked as she moved closer to the girl who looked at her like she was fucking crazy. “My name is Alana.” Alana didn’t want to see more innocent people die. She didn’t want that at all. “Look, I don’t want anyone to die here. I don’t care that you guys attacked us. I just want to live. So work with me.” Alana told the girl as she lowered her gun and just stared at Alana. “What is your name?” Alana asked again but this time her question actually yielded an answer. “Tara.” She whispered as Alana smiled at her and took her gun from her shaky hands. “Ok, Tara. I need you to be strong. I need you to use this to protect your new family. You are apart of my family now. Do you understand?” Alana said as she helped her hold the gun in her hands and tried to give her some confidence. She needed Tara on her side, not against her or even on the sidelines. She was a valuable part of winning this war. Tara nodded her head at Alana and raised her gun right at Alana which threw her off until she heard the bang and didn’t feel any more pain go through her body. Then a loud thump sounded out behind her and she looked back to see the crumbled body of the Walker Tara had shot. “I will meet you back here once everything isn’t so crazy. Fight back, Tara. Don’t go down without a fight.” Alana told her as she moved further into the fight going on in the courtyard.

“Daryl!” Alana screamed as she tried to search for her comrade and immediately was met with bullets being shot at her. The next thing Alana knew, she was being pulled behind a barrier and Daryl was standing right in front of her. “Where’s Rick?” He asked her as she shrugged her rifle off her shoulder and quickly reloaded it before she turned to look at who had been shooting at her. “He’s a little busy right now with the pirate.” She growled at him as she leaned out from behind the barrier and shot one of the men who had been shooting at her not three seconds before right in the head. She watched as his head exploded upon the bullet’s impact with his skull and the feeling that went through Alana at the sight of someone who was trying to kill one of her own was something that really would have scared her if she had felt this sort of feeling before the whole zombie apocalypse happened. “You’re hurt.” Daryl said as she had to lean against the barrier after a hard round of pain flowed through her body. “No shit, Sherlock! We all are fucking hurting right now! Hershel just fucking got his head chopped off before all of our eyes and we are losing our home! These bastards need to pay!” Alana snarled at Daryl as he looked down at her wounded body. There was blood all over her body, like there was blood all over Daryl’s but the blood on Daryl’s body wasn’t his. The blood on Alana’s body was all from her. Her entire right pants leg was drenched in blood and the entire right side of her face was caked with dried and sticky blood. She looked like she had been through war. They all were going through war.

“Where’s Carl?” Alana asked Daryl as they both watched as the bus started to pull away from the prison. Alana didn’t know who all was in that bus but she really hoped that they’d make it. She didn’t want to lose more people. “He’s probably getting Li’l Asskicker.” Daryl told her as she swore under her breath and silently prayed that that adult man wrapped in a teenager’s body didn’t do anything stupid especially if he had his sister with him. “Cover me, I’m gonna find him,” She said not a moment later and Daryl look at her like she was nuts which she was but she wasn’t gonna let anything happen to Carl or Judith. “Daryl, I can do this. I have to, for Rick.” Daryl then breathed, “You’re fucking crazy!” and quickly wrapped one arm around her, giving her a hug that only Daryl Dixon could before he raised the machine gun in his hands and laid suppressing fire as Alana ran across the courtyard towards the cell block doors.

“Carl!” Alana yelled as she tried to make her way across to the cell block but was stopped by the clicking of the hammer of a pistol right behind her head. She stopped movement immediately and held her hands up with her rifle in one hand. “Don’t you fucking move, bitch!” The man behind her said as he grabbed the rifle from her hand and pressed the barrel of his pistol further into her skull. “You don’t have to do this. We can work together to fix this prison. You don’t have to fight us.” Alana said as the guy roughly grabbed ahold of her hair and yanked her head back causing her to cry out. A loud explosion from behind them threw both Alana and her attacker to the ground. Alana quickly grabbed her pistol from her holster on her hip and aimed it at the man who had held a gun to her head. She stood up and stared down at the man as he looked up at her in horror. “There are only two sides in this war. The living and the dead. Pick a fucking side.” She growled at him as she looked up and saw Daryl standing by the tank with his crossbow up, waiting for the guy who had been in the tank to crawl out of his hole. As the asshole scrambled to get out of tank that Daryl had thrown a grenade into, Alana had to hold herself back from just wailing on the guy but she wanted to see what Daryl would do with him. Once the guy saw Daryl standing there with his crossbow raised and aiming right at his head, he stopped moving and begged for his life. The man got two words out before Daryl pulled the trigger and Alana watched as the bolt went through the man’s forehead and almost out the other side of his head.

“Carl!” Alana screamed again as she watched members of her group run off in different directions. One group in particular she saw was Daryl and Beth. She knew that Daryl would keep Beth safe. Everything around Alana seemed to be either riddled with bullets or on fire. Rick then crossed Alana’s mind and she needed to see what had happened between him and the Governor. She walked towards the gate that Rick had walked out of peacefully not three hours before and almost ran into the man she was looking for. That’s when she saw how bad he was. His entire face was red. There were deep red hand marks around his neck. “Rick.” She breathed out as he stumbled forward and she caught him before he fell to the gravel below. “Carl!” Rick barked out as he spit up some blood and started heaving with coughs. “I don’t know where he is.” She told him as the two of them moved through the seemingly desolate battle zone to find his son. When they moved around the tank, three Walkers were just standing there idle, well they had been idle until Alana and Rick had walked around the tank. Alana moved in front of Rick and pulled her machete out of it’s sheathe. She raised it above her head ready to strike down the Walkers but as she brought the blade down on the first Walker, two gunshots rang out and the Walkers all fell to the ground. Both Alana and Rick turned their attention to where the gunshot had come from and out of the smoke came Carl. Rick broke away from Alana and wrapped his arms around Carl. “Where’s Judith?” Rick asked him but Carl just shook his head at his father. He didn’t know.

"We've got to get out of here. We've got to go,” Rick said as he leaned against Carl and moved further into the courtyard to see if there were any others hiding from the chaos. That’s when Alana saw Judith’s car seat left abandoned in the middle of the courtyard. Shivers went down Alana’s spine as they all walked towards the car seat. That’s when she saw the blood. All of the blood that soaked her car seat. That’s when it all sunk in. Judith was dead. That sweet little girl who hadn’t done anything wrong was dead. Alana looked over at Rick and Carl and saw their expressions. The expressions on their faces made Alana go right over the edge. She fell down next to the car seat and just started screaming with tears streaming down her face. Carl had a different reaction and just kept pulling the trigger on his gun before Rick pulled the gun from his hands and wrapped his arms around his son. “Shh. Shh. Shh. It's over. It's over. It's over,” Rick whispered to both Alana and Carl as he tried to get them both up and moving because they had to get out of there. It wasn’t safe there. Rick placed a hand on top of Alana’s shoulder and she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “We got to keep going,” He said to her as his voice cracked with the tears that he was trying to hold back.

“Don't look back, Carl. Just keep walking." Rick told his son as he, Alana and Carl moved through the forest right outside the prison. There wasn’t any going back. Who knew what they would face out there.

 


	9. Chapter | Seven

**The Road**

 

**_Chapter | Seven_ **

 

_ Alana could feel every single wound that she had sustained not twenty four hours earlier. She could feel the blood leaking from the laceration above her right eyebrow and the pulsing black eye that surrounded that right eye. Her cheek swelled where her blood vessels had popped creating a nasty looking bruise that covered almost half of her face. Her side throbbed with pain from a few broken ribs or what she assumed was a few broken ribs. The wound that hurt the most was the burning she felt from the bullet that was lodged in her upper thigh. Thank God it had missed any major arteries but that didn’t stop it from soaking her pants leg with sticky blood. Rick was far worse off than she was but still he had forced her to put her arm around his shoulder so that he could support her with the whole wound to her leg she couldn’t really walk. She was a porcelain doll compared to Rick. He was barely recognizable, all puffy and swollen from the beating he had taken. He too had a limp in his left leg from a bullet wound like Alana but he was able to play off the pain a whole lot more than she could.  _

 

_ Carl was walking a ways ahead of them along the railroad tracks. He hadn’t spoken to either of them since the fall of the prison and that worried both Rick and Alana. “Carl,” Rick spoke half heartedly. The name only coming out as a soft rasp from his throat. “Carl, Carl.” Alana placed her hand gently across Rick’s left pectoral muscle and tried to get him to stop straining himself but he didn’t stop. He moved the two of them so that they were hobbling next to the young man and Rick reached his hand out stopping the teenage boy. “We need to stick together.” Rick strained his voice as he spoke. Carl just shrugged his father’s hand off his shoulder and kept moving ahead of the two wounded members of the trio. Rick stopped for a moment staring at his solemn son and remembering exactly all they had lost. Judith, their home, who knows if they’d ever see any of their loved ones again. Alana moved in front of Rick and cradled his face gently in her hands. “Give him time.” She whispered to him as she grabbed ahold of his unbroken hand and pulled him along with her. They would all get through this together. They had to.  _

 

* * * * *

Alana walked up cautiously behind Rick as the three of them approached the barbecue restaurant and she slipped her machete from it’s sheathe so that she was ready to end any vile creature that came at her. "Wait outside, okay? Keep watch." Rick said to Carl as he approached the restaurant’s door. Alana knew that this wouldn’t slide with Carl, especially with how much of a fight he had put up before this was the situation they were in. Rick could barely stand on his own and Carl didn’t have a scratch on him. It made sense to Alana to let Carl go in but she also knew exactly why Rick didn’t want Carl in there. "You keep watch. You can barely stand. I'm not gonna let you go in there alone." Carl replied to his father as Alana wandered away from the pair and looked through the windows peering into the building to see if she could find any Walkers lurking about in the restaurant. "Excuse me?” Rick asked Carl with anger in his voice. ‘ _ Well Rick has had enough of Carl’s shit. _ ’ Alana thought to herself as she took off the long sleeve shirt she was wearing and wrapped it around her clenched fists before she brought her fist back and shattered the window causing both Rick and Carl to look over at her. She cringed at the pain that went through her knuckles even though she thought she had taken the measures to protect them. Then again she had never punched a window to the point that it shattered. "We've done this before. I'm gonna help you clear it,” Carl said as Alana crawled into the window and walked over to the door, opening it for the bickering duo. 

 

Alana wanted to get everything done and over with so that they could find somewhere to hold out for a bit and heal. So that they could let the fact that they had just lost their home and a lot of their people sink in and not necessarily move on but be able to live with it. “You should just let me do it myself." Carl said as he and Rick walked into the building with their guns out and ready to fire which made Alana roll her eyes at them. They were essentially having a power struggle. Carl, the typical teenage boy, was having a power struggle with his thirty nine year old father who could barely walk at the moment. Alana understood that Rick didn’t want to admit that he was weak because that meant that he couldn’t keep his son and the woman he loved safe. Alana also knew that Rick was beating himself up for all the people that they lost, especially Hershel who had been like a second father to him. 

 

Alana moved aside as Carl rushed further into the building and she walked alongside Rick who she could tell was urked by the protest that Carl had given him. “He’s hurting, Rick. Just like you are. We need to be patient with him,” Alana told him as Rick checked the kitchen area for Walkers and walked back out, nodding his head at her; telling her that it was clear. “We need to find somewhere to hold out for a little while so that you can heal. We need you to be strong again, Rick.” She looked him in the eye as she said this to him so that he could see the emotions in her eyes. She wanted all of them to come to grips with what happened and they couldn’t do that while they were on the run. They needed supplies and shelter. That’s what was important right now. “Kitchen's clear,” Rick called out to Carl as the teen decided to move ahead of his father which didn’t go over well with Rick at all. The older man hobbled his way to where Carl had disappeared to and the sight that he and Alana were met with was strange. There was a barricade holding a Walker from getting at the trio. Chairs and tables were turned over to keep the Walker at bay. Alana looked past the grotesque creature and saw the shelf of food that was just behind it. She nudged Rick in the shoulder and pointed the goodies out to Rick who smiled down at her. “That might be all that's left." Rick said as Carl just stared at the Walker that was trying to crawl over the barricade to sink it’s teeth into their flesh. 

 

"I can get it from here." Carl told his father as he raised his gun up and aimed at the Walker’s head. “No. No, it’s weak. I’ll draw it out.” Rick said to his son as he grabbed the ax that had been lying against one of the overturned chairs and gestured for both Alana and Carl to take a step back away from the Walker. Alana really didn’t want to let him do this by himself considering the way he had to limp towards the barricade. Rick took a shaky step towards the barricade and grabbed a chair leg, pulling the barrier between him and the Walker down, letting the grotesque creature through. Alana stood next to Carl and looked down when she saw the teen reach for a piece of paper that laid on one of the barstools that surprisingly hadn’t been overturned.  _ Please do what I couldn’t - Joe Jr.  _ is what the piece of paper read. Alana watched as Rick raised the ax above his head and brought it down on the Walker’s head but it didn’t put an end to the creature; it was still kicking. Alana ran to the other side of Rick and raised her machete up, ready to bring it down on the Walker’s neck but was stopped by the sound of a gunshot and the arm that holding the machete was thrown back with some force as if something had hit it. 

 

“I said not to.” Rick yelled at Carl as the Walker crumbled to the ground and Alana looked over at her machete to see a bullet hole in it. She threw the pretty much useless machete down and made her way past the broken down barrier to the bar where she hoped there was some sort of weapon. “You couldn’t do it with the ax.” Carl shouted right back as Alana rolled her eyes at their bickering. She was gonna end up smashing their heads together. “I had it. Every bullet counts,” Rick began to say as Alana searched the bar area for her new weapon. “What if you needed that one later?” Alana almost shouted for joy when she came across an aluminum baseball bat. She was gonna smash some skulls with it. Help her not end up taking out her anger on her two companions. Rick looked over at Alana and watched her as she practice swung her bat a few times before she made her way back towards her companions. “See what you can find.” Rick told Carl as he and Alana walked back towards the kitchen. 

  
  


***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

 

Alana stopped Rick right before the kitchen doors and placed a hand on his chest lightly as to keep him from moving past her. “You need to stay here while I check it out.” She said sternly as she looked straight into his eyes. She knew that trying to get him to stick behind wasn’t going to be easy but after what had happened in the other room with that Walker, she needed him to rest. He didn’t have enough strength to bring an ax down hard enough to kill a Walker. She didn’t even give him a chance of arguing with her because she cut him off quickly. “Your body isn’t strong enough to function like you need it to right now. Let me do this, Rick. Let me protect you. You’ve done enough protecting for one day,” She told him as he clenched his fist, not wanting to admit that he was hurting right at that moment. “Besides, you and Carl butting heads is really pissing me off and bashing some skulls in will help me not want to bash your skulls in.” Alana winked at Rick as she moved into the kitchen with her baseball bat raised and ready to bash in some skulls.

 

Alana walked in slowly and as quietly as she could, walking on the balls of her feet rather than her heels which made her much quieter. She could hear the tell-tale growls and groans of the Walkers before she came face to face with them. That and she could definitely smell them before she was able to see them. She stepped further into the kitchen and that’s when she saw all the blood and guts. She had to watch where she stepped because of the puddles of blood that lingered on the tile flooring. She looked up at the pans that were hanging from the rack that was nailed to the ceiling and decided to create some noise to lure the Walkers out. She smacked the end of her bat against the metal pots and pans hanging from the ceiling and she could feel Rick cringing at the sudden sound that she had made. 

 

“I’m alright.” Alana yelled out to Rick as she watched her Walker buddy saunter out from behind the doorway that she assumed led to the pantry. “Come here, you gross fucker!” She called out to the Walker as it began to move even closer to her. She was feeling the adrenaline running through her veins and she felt great in that moment but she knew that after she swung her bat full force, she’d feel the burn and the agony. Though in that moment she didn’t care. She waited until the Walker got feet from her before she took her first swing at it. The bat hit the Walker right in the chin which caused it to fall backwards onto the gore covered ground. She then brought the bat down a few more times right on the area between its eyes until its face was unrecognizable. She stood over the Walker, breathing deeply until she heard footsteps behind her which caused her to turn around and cautiously raise the bat in her hands only to lower it when she was met with Rick’s concerned face. 

 

Her attention was turned away from Rick when another Walker sauntered out of the pantry. She heard the click of the hammer on Rick’s colt python and she quickly turned her head back towards him, glaring at him. “Take your own fucking advice, Rick!” She gritted through her teeth as she moved towards the Walker and whacked it upside the head which caused it to fall against the countertop with its head just resting on the stainless steel. Alana quickly brought her bat down on the fucker’s head and blood and brain matter splattered all over the both of them. “Every bullet counts!” She whispered at him as she stood in front of him holding the bloody bat with blood all over her clothes. She moved around the kitchen and found a hobo bag lying on the ground untouched by the blood and gore. She then threw it at Rick and gestured for him to move towards the pantry. “Let’s get this shit over with.” Alana said as they both walked towards the pantry only to find that it was pretty much empty. “Fuck.” Alana moaned as she rested her head against the cool tiled wall. Rick placed a hand on Alana’s shoulder and lifted the hobo bag to show her the food that they did have. She had to be thankful for what they did have.

 

Alana and Rick made their way out of the kitchen back to where they had left Carl to see how he was doing. "Kitchen wasn't empty after all. My haul. You?"  Rick placed the hobo bag on the stool in front of Carl trying to make a light competition out of their looting but Carl didn’t think of it that way. “I win.” Carl practically growled at his father as he shoved his bag at Rick’s chest. Alana looked over at Carl incredulously and watched Rick out of the corner of her eye. He looked like he was breaking apart inside. “Everything will be okay, Rick.” Alana whispered as she placed a kiss to the uninjured part of his face and made her way behind Carl. They would make it through. They had to. 

 

* * * * * * *

 

Alana walked alongside Rick with the tote bag slung over her shoulder. She watched as Carl trudged ahead of them with disdain in his walk. Alana could tell that he wasn’t taking the death of his sister well or the loss of their home all that great. On the outside, Alana was quiet and calm but on the inside, she was grieving and screaming at whatever god could hear her.  _ Why did this have to happen to them? Why did Judith, poor sweet Judith, have to die?  _ They were walking down a leaf covered road and Alana just felt weird walking through this abandoned neighborhood. It surprisingly looked normal or at least it looked like how the world used to. Toys were thrown across the various yards which seemed really strange to Alana. “That one's as good as any." Rick told Carl as he pointed at the first house on the block. It looked normal but who knew what horrors would await them inside. Alana gripped her bat in her hands as they all moved towards the front door. Alana just about rolled her eyes when the two males tried to fight over who got to break open the door. Carl was all skin and bones though he wouldn’t probably like to admit that and Rick was hurting, he most definitely wouldn’t be able to bust it open. So that left her. 

 

“Step back, boys.” Alana said as she pushed the two of them back away from the door and raised her bat above her head and brought it down on the doorknob, breaking the metal knob off before she triumphantly kicked the door open with her foot. Carl practically pushed Alana out of the way to get into the house which made Alana raise an eyebrow at him. “Carl.” Rick called out as he made his way into the house after his son who obviously had a death wish. Alana followed in slowly behind them making sure to watch their backs in case they decided to overlook a Walker. Carl was way ahead of Rick, checking the house over but Alana could see the tension in Rick’s body. He didn’t like the fact that Carl was putting himself in so much danger.  "I got it. All the doors down here are open." Though Carl was making a good point, if there were any Walkers on any level of the house, they really would have heard them and come out to try to eat them. Carl went to walk up the stairs but was stopped by his father’s stern voice. “Just stop!” Rick growled as Alana stood staring at the two of them. 

 

Alana really was taken back by Carl reaction to his father practically yelling at him. He moved up against one of the interior walls and began pounding his fist against it. "Hey, asshole! Hey, shitface! Hey--" Carl yelled as he kept bringing his fist against the wall. Carl was angry. There was definite anger in his voice. He was ready to explode at his father. "Watch your mouth!" Rick said through clenched teeth as Carl looked at him with an incredulous expression on his face. His father was yelling at him for swearing. "Are you kidding me? If there's one of them down there, they would have come out." Carl said as he headed up the stairs, practically staring Rick down as he walked up them.

 

* * * * * *  
  


Alana stood in a sickly pink room that she could only guess used to be a little girl’s bedroom and she smiled at the leotard that was hanging inside her closet. She was so immersed in memories of her past that she didn’t notice Rick walking into the room. “Wow, it looks like a unicorn threw up in here.” Rick remarked which caught her off guard and Alana slightly stumbled backwards only to be stopped by Rick’s muscled arms.  She smiled up at him and looked down at the leotard that was in her hands. “Is that you?” Rick asked as he pointed to a framed picture over the ocean of pink that was the bed and Alana raised an eyebrow at his question until she  saw what he was pointing at. It was definitely her all right and she furrowed her eyebrows at it like it was some foreign memory because well it was. “Alana?” Rick voiced as she moved towards the framed picture. She remembered that photoshoot. She had loved the clothes in particular that she had been asked to wear. 

 

“Yeah, that is me,” Alana said with her head wrapped around the memories that the framed photo brought to her. “I wasn’t just a small town ballerina, Rick. I toured the country and I was asked to model clothing all the time.” In the picture, she was wearing a black lacy long-sleeve tight-fitting shirt and her hair was half up and half down. This was a few months after she had given in to the new trend of shaving off one side of her head. The hair had grown back but it was still evident that she had once had that side of her head shaved. Her bangs were brought up in a little poof at the top of her head and the rest of her hair was left to flow freely down her back. Her makeup was very light and minimal but very beautiful. At the very bottom of the framed picture was a little written message along with Alana’s signature.  _ Keep dancing, Libby. - Alana Salem _ “Wow.” Rick breathed out from behind Alana as the two of them stood and stared at the old version of Alana. It was then that Alana noticed the other framed pictures of her photoshoots. She had been this little girl’s role model. “God, you are fucking beautiful.” Rick whispered as she turned back and looked at him. She thought he would have been looking at the photos of her but he was looking right at her. 

 

Rick brought his hands up and cradled her face in his large palms before he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her slightly chapped lips. Warmth flowed through her and she could feel the desire inside her. Though this wasn’t the time for that. Later when they knew that they were safe, they’d cling to each other to their hearts content. “We should keep moving.” Alana whispered to him as she held his wrists in her hands but she didn’t hold on very tightly at all. Her grip on his wrists was light, almost feather-like in the touch. “You need to let me look at your wounds, Rick.” She told him as he looked away from her. She knew that he didn’t want to let her see him that way but she wasn’t gonna let him shut her out. He had seen her in this sort of state before so there really should have been no problem. Then Rick walked away from her and she stared at the back of his head as he moved out of the room. “Fucking stubborn oaf.” She growled to herself as she followed suit and moved out of the sea of pink. 

 

* * * * * *

 

Carl stood at the front door, trying to tie a knot to hold the door in place stopping any Walkers or other people who may want to try to get in, well from getting in. Rick had other ideas though. He was trying to move the couch against the door to act as a barricade but he was insistent on doing it by himself. Alana stood in the middle of the room, staring at the two men who seemed to just be butting heads. Carl looked back his father with an incredulous look, pissed that his father wasn’t trusting his skills and was trying to fix things. “I tied the door shut.” Carl growled at his father as he continued to push the couch further towards the door. Alana shifted her weight from foot to foot as she leaned against her baseball bat like it was her cane. She didn’t want to get in between the two of them because it would just end up biting her in the ass. Either one of them would be mad at her for siding with the other. In all honesty, she was leaning more towards Rick’s side because you could never be too safe when it came something like this. Though she wasn’t questioning that Carl could keep that door shut with his knot, she just wanted to be sure that they’d be safe. 

 

"We don't need to take any chances." Rick dismissed Carl quickly as he tried to avoid the arguing that he knew would end up happening but there really wasn’t any stopping it because Carl already was seething at his words the moment they left his mouth. Alana ran a hand through her blonde hair, cringing as it caught on strands that were drenched in blood and caked in mud. She really wanted to take a bath but there was no telling if there was actual running water in this house. "You don't think it'll hold?" Carl gritted through his teeth as Rick gave him an incredulous look and continued trying to push the couch against the door. Rick called out his son’s name in an attempt to get him to help him but that only pissed him off more. "It's a strong knot. Clove hitch. Shane taught me. Remember him?" Carl said these words with disgust and anger in his voice that made Alana realize that Shane, whoever he was, wasn’t someone Rick wanted to be reminded of. Once Shane’s name was mentioned, Rick’s expression took a dark turn and he took a step back from the couch, glaring down at his son. 

 

Alana moved towards Rick, placing a hand on his shoulder blade but that didn’t draw his attention towards her. He kept staring down at his son as Alana began to help him push the couch against the door. "Yeah, I remember him. I remember him every day,” Rick began to say as he leaned down and finished pushing the couch fully against the door with Alana’s help. “There something else you want to say to me?" Rick’s words came out with wheezy breaths and that really made Alana concerned that he may have a punctured lung or something life threatening like that. Alana glanced over at Carl who was just looking down at the ground. She couldn’t tell if he was ashamed of his own words to his father or was just growing tired of the constant arguing. 

 

"This'll have to do for the night." Rick said to the two of them as Alana sat down on the couch and leaned her head against the back of it, taking a moment to just rest. The sound of Rick taking off his gun belt caught Alana’s attention and she immediately turned her gaze towards him. Rick smiled down at her and leaned in to pressed a kiss to her forehead before handing her some crackers that she ate slowly, not wanting to eat too much. She took one of the crackers in her hand and raised it up towards Rick’s mouth. She smiled broadly when he gave in and ate the cracker. 

 

Rick then held out a bag of cereal towards Carl who raised an eyebrow at him and refused to take the food. "You gonna have some?" Carl asked Rick but both he and Alana knew Rick wouldn’t eat until the two of them had gotten their fill. "You should eat." Rick stubbornly said as Carl shook his head at his father and went to move past him but Rick wouldn’t have it. The two of them went back and forth arguing that Carl should eat or that he wasn’t hungry. In the end, Rick grew to his last end and threw the bag of cereal at Carl’s feet, growling at him to “Eat, now.” 

 

Rick walked away from the two of them, making his way into the bathroom where Alana was pretty sure he was gonna be checking his wounds and Alana wanted in on that. She wasn’t gonna let him downplay his injuries anymore. Alana stood up from her spot on the couch and placed the crackers back in the bag that held all the food before she moved past Carl. She stopped as she stood in front of Carl and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You need to give your father a break. He is grieving just as much as you are. He isn’t to blame for the prison. The Governor did this to us, not your father.” Alana sternly told Carl essentially telling him to cut his shit out but he didn’t listen to her, he only argued. “If he had killed the Governor when he had the chance, Judith still would be alive!” He gritted his words out from behind his teeth which caused Alana to raise an eyebrow at him. 

 

Alana knew the story of exactly why Rick hadn’t killed the Governor. Carl was the exact reason for that. He had been becoming too harsh and hardened by the world around them and Rick didn’t want Carl to follow in his example thinking that killing was an okay thing. Alana shook her head at Carl’s words and walked away from him, knowing that there was no way to get through to him, not in his current state of grief. 

 

Alana walked towards where Rick had wandered off to and opened the closed bathroom door to find Rick standing there with no shirt on. Alana wanted to break down and cry at the sight of Rick’s bruised and beaten body. He looked so broken from Alana’s position in the doorway. She moved towards him and took the washcloth that he had in his hand from him. She sat up on the edge of the sink and motioned for Rick to nestle himself between her open legs so that she could gently clean off his body. He moved his body so that his hands were on either side of Alana’s legs and his hips were between her jean covered legs. 

 

“You need to clean this.” Rick whispered to Alana as he pointed to the gauze covered part of her leg that was pretty much completely drenched in blood. She nodded her head and smiled at him before gently dabbing the cloth along the puffy part of his face. There was a yellowish tint to the skin around where the Governor had punched him multiple times and the same yellowish tint covered his ribs as well. Alana stopped for a moment and gently stroked the untouched part of his face. “Everything is going to be okay, Rick.” Alana promised him as a single tear escaped from the corner of his eye and she quickly wiped it away. He stared at her silently asking a question that he couldn’t bring himself to ask. 

 

_ How? How were they ever gonna be okay again with all they had lost? How could they ever be okay? _

 

“Rick, we have each other. We will protect each other until our dying breaths. I know that we will be okay, eventually we’ll be able to be okay again.” She spoke softly as Rick brought his arms around her and pulled her tightly against his torso. She wrapped her arms around his back and ran her hands up and down his skin in the hope of comforting him somewhat. She had to be strong for Rick. Even if he may not want to admit it, he was at his breaking point. Alana pulled back from Rick and placed a light kiss against his forehead before going back to clean up his body. 

 

After Alana managed to get all the blood off of Rick’s body, he practically sat her down on the toilet lid and cleaned out the bullet wound on her thigh. He had had to cut her entire pants legs to get to the wound without causing it to bleed more. Alana sat on the toilet while Rick rummaged through the medicine cabinet for a first aid kit and possibly a sewing kit to stitch the wound up fully. Rick moved out of the bathroom to quickly ransack the house for anything that could be used to sew up Alana’s leg. Alana began to worry when Rick didn’t come back into the bathroom for almost twenty minutes. Her mind went to the worst case scenario and she immediately left the bathroom to make sure that he hadn’t passed out from pain somewhere in the house. She knew that she would be the one to have to check on him because in that moment Carl was too busy brooding and being a pissed off teenager to really care about anything.

Rick had made his way upstairs into the master bedroom in the hopes that he’d find a needle and some thread to sew Alana back up with. His side still hurt like a bitch and the bullet wound in his leg ached with the weight that he had to put on it as he walked around the house. He ran his uninjured hand through his semi-wet curly locks and looked around at the area he was in.

He stepped fully into the master bedroom and stood there for a moment, taking in all his surroundings. The room was decorated for sure, lots of blue-greens and deep browns. Pictures littered the walls with various images; those of family and togetherness, and beauty and tranquility. A family was prominent in most of the pictures. A beautiful brunette standing alongside a man with a bushy beard and long blonde hair that seemed to be brought up in almost a bun and two children; a teenage boy with sandy blonde all messed up at the top of his head and a little girl with brown hair just like her mother who was wearing a leotard and a pink tutu. They were in various locations; the mountains, an art gallery, a ballet. In the one picture of the family at the ballet stood Alana all smile and glee as she stood next to the miniature copy of herself. The little girl was right alongside Alana wearing a matching leotard. Alana looked so different. She looked happy and vibrant, not like she did now. She was broken in multiple ways and then she didn’t look on her guard but then again he was the same way. They were two peas in a pod.

 

Thinking about Alana made him reach inside his pants pocket and pull out the rhimstone necklace that he had picked up while on the run with Carol. He had forgotten completely about it until just then. He was standing there just thinking about if he should give the necklace as Alana moved up behind him and looked around at the room seeing if there was something that was possibly bothering him. “Rick,” She called out softly as she placed a hand on his bare shoulder only to see the photo her comrade had been looking at not moments before. Alana walked fully into the room and stood in front of the picture. She looked almost as if she was reminiscing.

“I remember this night,” Alana began to speak as Rick moved from his spot in the doorway to get a better look at the picture. “I have never seen a little girl so happy to see me. I mean, I was her idol. That’s what her father told me as he hunted me down just so she could get a picture with me.” Rick watched Alana as she moved closer to the picture and looked as if she were on the brink of bursting out into tears. She took the photo frame into her hands and ran her thumb over a specific part of the photo. Rick walked up behind Alana, softly placing a hand on her hip. He looked down at the photo to see that she was stroking her finger over an older man who was standing in the background. The photo quality of the man wasn't the best and it was hard to make him out but Alana definitely knew who he was. From what Rick could make out about the man he looked to be about 50 or so years old with salt and pepper hair but one thing stood out to Rick; the man’s clothes. He was wearing an Atlanta police officer uniform. In that moment, it dawned on Rick who the man was. Alana’s father.

 

Rick then stepped forward so that his bare chest was pressed up against Alana’s tank top covered back and wrapped his arms so that they cradled her close. Alana broke down, letting her body fall back on Ric and just poured out the emotions she was hiding inside. Deep heart-wrenching sobs caught in her chest causing her to heave and almost thrash against him. She had tried to be strong but all her walls just broke down.

 

“Let it out, sweetheart. Just let it all out.” Rick whispered to her as he held her in his arms and allowed her to cry, to get all those emotions out. Alana turned in his arms and pressed her face into the side of his neck with her arms wrapped around his back, gripping at his shoulders. Her body rocked against him with each sob that escaped her mouth and it broke his heart. 

 

“That was the last day I saw him.” Alana managed to get out between her sobs. Her words were laced with sorrow. Rick brought his hands up and buried them in her blonde hair. Rick wanted to be able to say that her father was still alive but he couldn't promise her that. He couldn't lie to her like that.

 

“Alana, I promise you that I will do my best to protect you and Carl.” Rick began to say to her but Alana quickly stopped him with a finger pressed to his lips. She was shaking her head at him but he didn't understand why. “We protect each other, Rick. That's not all on your shoulders. Not anymore.” She told him as she smiled up at him with her tear covered face and gently stroked the sides of his face. She placed a gentle kiss to his lips and helped him search for a needle and some thread to sew up both their gunshot wounds.

 

They would survive this. Alana knew that they would. 

 

*****************************************************************************************

 

Rick had insisted that Alana sleep on the couch with him so that was how she ended up wedged between her Sheriff and the ugly couch that he had pushed against the door. Alana could hear Carl rummaging around somewhere in the house but she didn’t exactly want to get up from the comfortable spot she was in. Her right arm was stretched out across Rick’s stomach and her head rested on his collarbone. She ran her hand along Rick’s torso, trying to coax him awake but she got absolutely no response from him. She quickly got up from her position on the couch and looked down at her sleeping companion. He looked as if he were just sleeping soundly and could be awoken by a single touch but even shaking him did nothing. 

 

“Rick, honey, you need to wake up,” Alana said as she began to shake Rick, hoping that would wake him but it did nothing. “Rick, please, wake up!” Alana shook him harder and had managed to gather Carl’s attention. He wasn’t waking. He was in some sort of coma or something. Trapped inside his own body. “Fucking wake up!” Alana screamed as something slammed into the front door which caused both Alana and Carl to look right at it. Then the groans and moans of Walkers sounded out and Alana screamed out in frustration. 

 

Carl didn’t hesitate to walk out the back door to draw the Walkers away from the front and Alana knew that if Rick ever found out, she let him do that alone, he’d pretty much kill her so that was why Alana followed behind him instead of continuing to try to wake up Rick. Alana walked outside with her bat in her hand and rolled her eyes when she saw that Carl only had his gun to protect himself. "Hey, you! Fresh meat right here. Come and get it. Let's take a walk.” Carl called out to the three Walkers that were stood at the door, banging on it. He was luring them away from the house but Alana knew that somehow something was gonna go wrong and she needed to be there to save his stupid ass when it did. 

 

Carl locked eyes with Alana as he walked backwards with the Walkers following him and glared at her. He obviously didn’t like that she was there.  _ Tough shit, kid.  _ Alana thought to herself as she continued to follow him while he brought the Walkers behind one of the houses across the street. She had her baseball bat at the ready in her hands. “Just a little farther. Come on. Oh, shit." Carl said as he tripped and tumbled backwards, leaving himself very vulnerable. He quickly raised his gun and shot the first two Walkers which fell on him, pinning him to the ground. The last Walker stumbled towards Carl and Alana raised her baseball bat to knock it in the back of the head but Carl yelled at her not to. She knew exactly why he didn’t but she wasn’t gonna listen to him. She smacked her baseball bat into the back of the Walker’s skull and brought the bat back down on it a few more times, effectively smashing it. 

 

She looked over at Carl who was struggling to get out from under the Walkers that were piled on top of him and she quickly walked over to him, pulling them off of him. To say that Carl was pissed off at Alana was an understatement. “I had them.” He gritted through his teeth at her as she placed a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow at him. “Certainly. I mean you totally had that last Walker. It wasn’t like you were trapped under two of the other Walkers that you fucking shot! Did you forget what your father told you the other day? Conserve your ammo.” Alana retorted at him as he stomped off away from her only to stop a few feet away from the house they were staying at, turning towards Alana and throwing a stone cold glare. 

 

“You are not my mom.” That was all he said to her before he took off back into the house, leaving Alana standing there, wondering what the fuck had just happened. 

 

************************************************************************************

 

Alana walked back into the house through the back door only to hear Carl talking to someone. “I killed three walkers. They were at the door. They were gonna get in, but I lured them away,” Carl said to the unconscious Rick as Alana walked into the room and just stood there to listen to what he was gonna say. What other bullshit he was gonna spill out of that mouth. “I killed them. I saved you. I saved you. I didn't forget while you had us playing farmer. I still know how to survive. Lucky for us,” Carl was getting angrier and angrier as he continued his little speech to Rick who most likely couldn’t hear any of it and Alana who was just staring at him with a blank expression on her face. 

 

“I don't need you anymore. I don't need you to protect me anymore. I can take care of myself. You probably can't even protect me anyways. You couldn't protect Judith. You couldn't protect… Hershel or Glenn or Maggie. Michonne, Daryl, or Mom,” Carl held a lot of resentment inside him and it all was spilling out right in that moment. Alana was seeing for real what was going through his mind. He blamed his father for everything. He blamed him for all the people who had died. He blamed him for losing the prison. He blamed him for even being in a coma. “You just wanted to plant vegetables. You just wanted to hide. He knew where we were and you didn't care! You just hid behind those fences and waited for… They're all gone now,” Carl paused for a moment to catch his breath before screaming out his next words, scaring the living crap out of Alana. “Because of you! They counted on you! You were their leader! But now… you're nothing. I'd be fine if you died.”

 

Carl then looked over at Alana and scoffed at the surprised expression on his face. She knew that he resented his father in that moment but she didn’t think he felt as if he’d be better off if his father was dead. The two of them stood there, staring each other down until Carl spoke. “What are you fucking looking at?” He asked Alana as she just stared at him in disbelief for a moment. Then she went off. 

 

“You know what Carl. I'm sick of your attitude. I know that I am not your mother. Hell, in this moment I am very fucking glad I am not but I care about your father and if anything happened to you, he’d die,” Alana began to yell as Carl looked as if he were so surprised about why she was snapping like she was. “Your father didn't know that this would all happen. It is not his fault. You want to blame someone, blame the fucking Governor. He's the one who ran a tank through our home. You have every right to be upset and angry about what happened. I am angry and upset by all of it but what you do not get to do is take it out on your father or me. We are going through the same damn things you are, Carl. We have to survive this together, not apart.” Alana was really hoping that she was getting through to the teenager but all he did was run out of the house. Alana didn't follow him this time. He needed time to think on his own. 

 

****************************************************************************************

 

Alana waited for a few minutes before she walked out of the house after Carl even though she had told herself that she wouldn't. He had moved down the street from the house they were at and was trying to get into the front door. She watched as he tried to slam the door open using his body and he just bounced off the door. Alana rolled her eyes at him and walked up to help him. “I'm only here to help. Two people can carry more than one.” She said as she tried to make some peace with the teenager. He just stared at her and responded with nothing. 

 

“Let me help you, Carl.” She pleaded with him as he shrugged his shoulders, not really wanting to admit he needed her help. She took that as an okay to help him and opened the door using her bat. Alana gestured for Carl to walk in first in an attempt to not piss him off but she made sure that she made a lot of sound as she walked inside to get any Walkers inside to come out of wherever they were hiding.

 

Carl had wandered out of her view but she didn’t immediately run after him to make sure that he was okay. He could handle himself to a point. If he ends up screaming or something like that, she’d come running. 

 

Alana walked into the living room of that particular house and it looked surprisingly untouched as if no one had been in there until, well, Carl and her. There was really nothing special about the room besides the fact that it looked like none of the shit that had happened in the world affected it at all. There still was a dusty TV sitting on top of the TV stand with DVDs and videogames all around it. A Xbox sat on the floor collecting dust next to the TV stand. Controllers were scattered across the coffee table in front of the dust covered couch. Everything in the room looked normal and that freaked Alana out. 

 

She then wandered into the room she had seen Carl walk into and saw all of the food that was just sitting there, untouched. Canned foods sat in the cupboards just smiling down at the two of them. Alana could have screamed for joy. Carl looked at Alana with a smile on his face and she couldn't have been happier. She held a hand up to the teenager and received exactly what she had wanted. A high five. 

 

“Why don't you go check upstairs while I bag all this up? They've gotta have a stash of plastic bags around here. That's what my father taught me at least. That's what being an adult is. Hoarding plastic bags for no reason.” Alana said to Carl as she trailed off towards the end of her little rant and Carl just laughed at her hoarding comment. He made his way upstairs as Alana searched for the plastic bag stash that she knew had to be there. She couldn't wait to see the look on Rick's face when he saw all the food that they had found. Canned beans, canned corn, canned everything. Alana looked up at the fridge that stood in the kitchen and saw a large can of something up on top of it. A can of 112 ounces of chocolate pudding. It looked almost as if it were about fifty years old and looked very questionable but hopefully Carl would enjoy it.

 

A loud thump upstairs caught Alana's attention and hearing Carl cry out made her run up the stairs. There Carl was on the ground crawling away from a Walker but Alana didn't take it down. Carl needed to do this on his own. She had all the faith in her saying that he could handle this Walker.

 

Carl got up from his spot on the ground and ran into one of the bedrooms, trying to slam the door shut but the door was getting caught on a book. The Walker pushed into the room and hobbled after Carl who was struggling to try to get the bedroom's window open but it was getting stuck. The Walker stretched out its arms out towards Carl who quickly moved out of the reach of the Walker and made his way back towards the bedroom's door, kicking the book that had been obstructing the doorway out of the way only to have the Walker grab ahold of his foot. The Walker bit down on the toe of Carl's shoe and that was when Alana made her presence known by running up to the teenager and pulling him away from the Walker who managed to pull Carl's shoe entirely off. Alana slammed the door shut and quickly checked Carl's foot for bite marks. She was very relieved when she found none.

 

Carl grabbed a piece of chalk that was lying on the ground among the chaos that was in the hallway and began writing on the door.  **WALKER INSIDE. GOT MY SHOE. DIDN'T GET ME.** That was what he wrote on the door and Alana smiled at his little warning he had written. Alana placed a hand on Carl's shoulder and pushed him to walk downstairs with her. “I got a surprise for you.” Alana said to him as she brought him into the kitchen and showed him the can of pudding. 

 

Carl looked back at Alana with a large grin on his face and seeing that grin made Alana very happy. “Wanna see if we can eat it all together?” Alana asked Carl as she swung a can opener in front of his face with a silly smile on her face.

 

*******************************************

 

That was how they ended up on the roof of that particular house with spoons in hand and the can of pudding between the two of them. The sound of the Walker who had gotten Carl's shoe growling and snarling at them from the partially opened window that Carl had tried to escape from could be heard. Carl stuffed one last spoonful of pudding into his mouth before turning towards Alana. Carl didn't look all that angry anymore and that made her happy.

 

“You know, it wouldn't really suck all that much having you as a mom.” Carl remarked as he looked back at the house where his father was probably still asleep in. Alana smiled at the teenager's words and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Aww, Carl. You actually like me.” Alana teased him as he halfheartedly to get away from her but ended up laughing and smiling along with her.

 

“You're okay. My dad likes you so I guess I like you too.” Carl remarked as Alana took his hat off his head, placing it on her own, then she gave the young man a knuckle sandwich. Carl quickly shoved her away and snatched his hat back from her. 

 

Then Alana got serious. “We're gonna survive this, Carl. We just have to stick together,” She spoke softly to him as he nodded his head at her. “Now come on let's get back to your dad.” 

 

*******************************************

 

Alana didn't know when she had fallen asleep but she woke up to the sound of a struggle. She quickly sat up to find Rick crawling off of the couch towards Carl who had his gun out but he couldn't pull the trigger. Alana grabbed her aluminum bat and raised it above her head ready to bring it down on Rick's head as he reached for Carl's leg. He was groaning like a Walker and just that single thought made Alana begin to cry. 

 

Then Rick spoke. “Carl. Don't go outside. Stay safe.” Rick fell onto his back and Alana quickly dropped her bat so that she could cradle Rick's head in her lap. Carl was sitting next to the two of them continuously saying that he was scared. “It's okay. We're okay.” Alana whispered to both Rick and Carl as she brought Carl into her body to cradle him close like a mother would.

 

These two were her family now. She was gonna do her damnedest to keep them safe. 

 

******************************************

 

“You shouldn't have risked it, going out there like that. It's dangerous.” Rick said to Carl as all three of them sat on the floor, eating some of the food that Alana and Carl had gotten. Alana sat across from the two Grimes boys, chowing down on a can of sliced pears. Rick and Carl were nibbling on a can of peaches which Alana hated. “I was careful and Alana was with me.” Carl responded as Rick looked over at Alana who just smiled at him with a mouthful of pears.

 

“Couldn't exactly let the kid get himself killed.” Alana joked as she winked at the teen and grinned at the bearded man who just chuckled at her.

 

“It's good that you two found more food.” Rick commented as he finished up his can of peaches and looked between the two people in the room with him. Alana was pretty proud of all the food that they had found. “I found even more but I ate it.” Carl smiled as he looked at Alan while he spoke those words and Alana chuckled knowing exactly what he was talking about. Rick looked at the two of them while they laughed at their own inside joke and he was completely confused. 

 

“What was it?” Rick asked the two of them as Alana just shook her head and carefully set her can of pears next to her. Carl then told his father about the 112 ounce can of pudding that he and Alana had shared together. Rick shook his head at the two of them and just laughed when Alana shrugged her shoulders at him.

  
Then a knock sounded from the door and all three of them stood up with their weapons drawn. Rick climbed onto the couch and looked through the peephole. He then started laughing and sat down on the couch. Alana and Carl looked at Rick in confusion and Rick just smiled at them. “It's for you.” Rick said to Carl as Alana walked over to the window and smiled at what she saw outside. Michonne with Carl's lost shoe. 


End file.
